Jesus and Our Parents

It has been an accepted premise that there are no contradictions in the Bible; that is, one passage doesn’t contradict another. Yet, consider the following two passages, and in fact both containing what was uttered by Jesus:

Consider Matthew 15:1-9 which says, “Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, ‘Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat.’ [Jesus] answered them, ‘And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? For God commanded, “HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER,” AND, “WHOEVER REVILES FATHER OR MOTHER MUST SURELY DIE.” But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, “What you would have gained from me is given to God,” he need not honor his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God. You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said:

‘This people honors me with their lips,
but their heart is far from me;
in vain do they worship me,
teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’”

Yet in MATTHEW 10: 34-35 Jesus says, “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. FOR I HAVE COME TO SET A MAN AGAINST HIS FATHER, AND A DAUGHTER AGAINST HER MOTHER…”

Well, if he had come to do that, isn’t he imploring people to disobey Exodus 20:12 which says, “HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you”? And if he had come to set us against our parents, how can he expect us to honor them, which is the very thing he criticized the Pharisees for making void?

We know that Proverbs 3:5 tells us to trust in God with all our heart and do not lean on our own understanding, while 2 Timothy 3:16 says that ALL scripture is breathed out by God and is for teaching, correction, reproof and training in righteousness. Given that, we know that Jesus said that nobody goes to God except through him, but what are we expected to do regarding our parents?

Can we decide that Jesus in MATTHEW 10: 34-35 is telling us not to honor parents who do not act in a righteous manner? But the Commandment stated in Exodus 20:12, which is part of the Law that Jesus came to uphold and fulfill, says “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” There are no ifs, ands or buts about it.

So, is Jesus telling us that if we go to God through Him, we need not honor our mother and father, and we can, in effect, throw them under a bus? Is there anywhere in the Bible in which Jesus makes a distinction of which parents to honor, and which parents to not honor?
And consider Ephesians 6:1-3 which says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’” There are no ifs, ands or buts there either, and no distinction between parents to obey and those to not obey is made there either.

So how do we show our love for God in terms of our parents when we have seemingly conflicting words by Jesus, and conflicting passages in the Bible as a whole? I don’t have an answer to this except to say that when our day of Judgment comes, God will consider the good things and the bad things we have done in our life, and hopefully God will judge that the good things we’ve done outweigh the bad things.

If your parents or anyone else is not following Christ then you should not be filling them!

Luk 12:51 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division:
Luk 12:52 For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three.
Luk 12:53 The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

Plain and simple that is the way it will be, but so be it, for Jesus had to bring salvation to the world, even though it would cause division between people, even family members.

Jesus wants peace on earth, and love thy neighbor as yourself, and follow peace with all men, with holiness, without which no person shall see the Lord.

But Jesus had to bring salvation to the world, and could not be avoided, so if it brings division among people, even dear family members, where they will fight with each other over whether it is true or not, then so be it, for Jesus had to bring salvation, and He was not going to abandon salvation because it would cause people to fight over whether it is true or not.

But it is like that with many things of the world that they fight among themselves over things, and the Bible already caused division among people, and the truth of it, before Jesus came to give salvation, but Jesus giving us salvation escalated the fighting among people more concerning God's word.

The Bible says children obey, and honor your parents, but children refusing to believe Jesus is the Savior of the world, and going against their parents who believe Jesus is the Savior, is not the children disobeying, and dishonoring their parents, and wives who believe, and husbands who do not, and husbands who believe, and the wife does not, does not mean they are not respecting each other, but they are only offending God if they do not agree to the truth.

So if they fight in a household of whether Jesus is salvation or not, has nothing to do with them disrespecting each other, but they are offending God if not in the truth, so they can still have peace with each other, but disagree on whether Jesus is salvation or not, or whether they believe the Bible or not, like they would disagree over what food they like, or what car they like, or anything else, although agreeing with the truth, and going against the truth, is a way more serious matter.

Jesus said children are to obey, and honor their parents, but said there will be division among family members over whether Jesus is Savior or not, or whether they believe in Him or not, but children not believing Jesus is the Savior, or not believing in Him, has nothing to do with children not obeying, and not honoring their parents, for they are not offending their parents, but offending God if they do not agree to the truth, and the parents if they do not believe the truth are not offending the children, but offending God.

If a father says the Mustang is the greatest car ever, and the son says that the Camaro is the greatest car ever, is the son not obeying the father when the son can hold whatever opinion he has in the matter, it has nothing to do with the father and son relationship.

It is very important to believe in Jesus, and the truth, but God does not force it on us for if He did everyone would abide in the truth, so the son not believing in Jesus, and the father does believe in Jesus, does not mean the son is disobeying the father, for God gave us a choice so the son can believe what he wants although wrong if not in the truth, but what has that got to do with disobeying the father, for he is disobeying God.

For Jesus spoke of family members having a division whether they believe in Jesus or not, and says the father will be against the son, and the son against the father, so it works both ways, so the father could believe, and the son not, or the son could believe, and the father not, so this is a family squabble over whether they believe in Jesus or not, but it does not mean that they are disrespecting each other.

Family members will be divided over whether they believe in Jesus or not, but that does not mean they hate each other, or do not care for each other, but a family squabble like they will do with other subjects too, although being in the truth is a lot more important.

it is very unlikely that this man had no relatives among the congregation. a wife. a mother, a father. children. brothers, sisters.
so there they were, divided. if he had children, did they 'dishonor' him by obeying God?



as we can see families divided over wicked behaviour already existed.

Jesus says He came to "bring" a sword - that division must not have already been, or He wouldn't be bringing it; He'd be affirming it.

Jesus is talking about something else -- not about 'dishonoring' family because of 'not acting righteously'
He sent the disciples out with a message about Him, who He is and what He's done.
He said the world will hate you because of Him -- not because of keeping laws or doing good works.

Following

This is a good example how the law is weak and poor in regards to effectuating righteousness.

Law: Honor your mother and father.
Jesus: Let the dead bury your dead father.

Law: Honor your mother and father.
Jesus: Those who do the will of GOD are my mother.

Law: Honor your mother and father.
Jesus: He who loves father and mother more than me is not worthy of me.

There is no contradiction. We are not obligated to honor our parents wishes to break the first three Commandments is what Jesus was saying by dividing the family.

-Did the parents whom Jesus referred to in talking with the Pharisees, abide by the "first three commandments?"

You have totally misunderstood what Jesus said.

When you have an unbelieving family, and someone gets saved, there is an automatic spiritual conflict. Which does not mean that the saved person disrespects his parents. Quite the contrary. He or she gives them perfect respect.

But if the parents are not saved, they have no use for the Christian. In some countries (e.g. Pakistan) the unsaved parents would conspire to have the Christian attacked or even killed.

Any parent who rejects Christ is rejecting God Himself and a child does not have to reject God.