Taking care of sick and dying parents.
- Thread starter calibob
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
So hard. We want to do what's best for them and we're not equipped to deal with what they're going through. Make sure your parents know they are loved and they are being cared for. We want to take care of them ourselves and sometimes they get to a point where they are beyond our ability to provide what is needed for them. That is when we have to get help for them that we cannot provide. And make sure they stay hydrated. Make sure they drink water ... A LOT of water. Dehydration wreaks havoc on their bodies.
-
2
-
1
- Show all
I took care of my parents when they were ill, and I never regretted it. But, it did change me. Each person has to make these choices for themselves. What's right in my life may not be right in another's life, because my experiences, mannerisms and knowledge isn't the same as another's. Take care your home however you feel led to do.
-
1
- Show all
It’s really very hard to see our parents suffer. Please provide the best possible care and spend lots of time with them and helping them. I’m praying that God will provide you with the strength, patience and guidance you need at this time. Also, I recently came across this book that might be helpful to you: Complete Guide to Caring for Aging Loved Ones by Robert Riekse. Hand in there, friend.
-
2
- Show all
I had to do this.
My Dad got cancer. He had four months aged 70 but a young 70. He was my Mum;s main carer who had Guillain-Barré syndrome , the CIDP strain and with out me knowing or realizing, it was killing her. I helped her look after my Dad , however being a nurse who had worked in a hospice she did most of his care her self. She past away 18 months after Dad, each month and then week being able to do less and less. I became her main carer. trying to juggle having two small children who had just started school, a husband and three young 20 year olds, one being in Uni.
For me, I just kept thinking of all the care they had given me in my life. They would do anything for me. Mum had also cared for her Dad and Mum who lived with us growing up and her in law parents so she had shown me what to do. I never regretted any of it, although it was hard work.
Like parenting, I think you have to rely on your own judgment and instinct to know what you should do. I was not working at the time so was able to look after Mum.
So every situation is different. Illness are different. Family set ups are different and you need to do the best you can for that person you are caring for. You know them and you know you and your families position. If that means getting help or putting them into a caring home then do it. Obviously I would visit daily or frequently because you can still care for your parents even when they are in a home. I had Macmillan nurses helping and some of Mums nursing friends guiding me. It was all over too soon. But I know I did my best for them both and grateful for every second I was able to tell them I loved them.
I had a lot of people coming in to help. Reading the bible to Dad, changing the bird food for them, putting out the bins for us. Praying for us.
My Dad got cancer. He had four months aged 70 but a young 70. He was my Mum;s main carer who had Guillain-Barré syndrome , the CIDP strain and with out me knowing or realizing, it was killing her. I helped her look after my Dad , however being a nurse who had worked in a hospice she did most of his care her self. She past away 18 months after Dad, each month and then week being able to do less and less. I became her main carer. trying to juggle having two small children who had just started school, a husband and three young 20 year olds, one being in Uni.
For me, I just kept thinking of all the care they had given me in my life. They would do anything for me. Mum had also cared for her Dad and Mum who lived with us growing up and her in law parents so she had shown me what to do. I never regretted any of it, although it was hard work.
Like parenting, I think you have to rely on your own judgment and instinct to know what you should do. I was not working at the time so was able to look after Mum.
So every situation is different. Illness are different. Family set ups are different and you need to do the best you can for that person you are caring for. You know them and you know you and your families position. If that means getting help or putting them into a caring home then do it. Obviously I would visit daily or frequently because you can still care for your parents even when they are in a home. I had Macmillan nurses helping and some of Mums nursing friends guiding me. It was all over too soon. But I know I did my best for them both and grateful for every second I was able to tell them I loved them.
I had a lot of people coming in to help. Reading the bible to Dad, changing the bird food for them, putting out the bins for us. Praying for us.
-
1
- Show all
This was discussed at length on another site recently. They offered some keen insight worth considering. It's a secular site and the language used by some is on the rough side.
.http://forums.13x.com/index.php?threads/how-long-to-let-an-elderly-loved-one-be-independent.349361/
.http://forums.13x.com/index.php?threads/how-long-to-let-an-elderly-loved-one-be-independent.349361/
-
1
- Show all
You should never have been doing it all yourself. That is the fastest way to caregiver burnout. Family, extended family, even friends or neighbours should take turns.
Next, find out what agencies can help you. Can you get respite care? How about caregivers to dress them and toilet them in the morning, if needed?
Next stage is long term care. I know the USA is very different in this regards. In Canada, the cost is minimal, for basic care. But, some money is still needed.
I was a chaplain in long term care. It was a Lutheran organization, and the care, especially loving the people, was amazing. Not all secular organizations are like that. Find out if your denomination runs long term care homes. I know Baptists and Catholics do. See what the cost is.
I know we owe our parents a lot. When my father was in the hospital dying, he was never upset he had to leave his home and go into care. The only thing that upset him was when my brother and mother did not visit. So, if you put them into care, visit them a lot. Daily at first. I was just visiting a church member in long term care, and he had a friend, one Vic, by name, and his wife visited him daily. I heard yesterday of a wife who was at the care facility for 2 meals every day. That is almost as much work as having someone at home.
Anyway, talk to your pastor, if you are still looking for answers. He, or someone else in the church might have some great ideas of the best ways to transition your parents, so you are not burdened. My dad did not want to burden me, but I was there 6 days a week, when he got sick. He told me to go home, and rest and study. Instead, I brought my books and studied there. But, at least I could go home, ride my bike, work in the garden, and get a bit of rest.
I pray you find some answers to this difficult question. Or, was this rhetorical?
Next, find out what agencies can help you. Can you get respite care? How about caregivers to dress them and toilet them in the morning, if needed?
Next stage is long term care. I know the USA is very different in this regards. In Canada, the cost is minimal, for basic care. But, some money is still needed.
I was a chaplain in long term care. It was a Lutheran organization, and the care, especially loving the people, was amazing. Not all secular organizations are like that. Find out if your denomination runs long term care homes. I know Baptists and Catholics do. See what the cost is.
I know we owe our parents a lot. When my father was in the hospital dying, he was never upset he had to leave his home and go into care. The only thing that upset him was when my brother and mother did not visit. So, if you put them into care, visit them a lot. Daily at first. I was just visiting a church member in long term care, and he had a friend, one Vic, by name, and his wife visited him daily. I heard yesterday of a wife who was at the care facility for 2 meals every day. That is almost as much work as having someone at home.
Anyway, talk to your pastor, if you are still looking for answers. He, or someone else in the church might have some great ideas of the best ways to transition your parents, so you are not burdened. My dad did not want to burden me, but I was there 6 days a week, when he got sick. He told me to go home, and rest and study. Instead, I brought my books and studied there. But, at least I could go home, ride my bike, work in the garden, and get a bit of rest.
I pray you find some answers to this difficult question. Or, was this rhetorical?
-
1
- Show all