Question for marriages where both are musicians

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kim12345

Senior Member
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#1
Are there any people out there that are musicians and are married to a musician?
If so, can you share your insight on a situation.

Background: years ago husband played bass in many many bands and I always dreamed of playing guitar. I would tincker a little but at that time I never was encouraged or learned. He never seemed interested in playing or teaching me. I didnt really know it was my passion. So I forgot about it. Then we had a family and he quit playing.

Years later I decided to try again and was encourage by a guitar teacher at my church and I really learned to play. I have since played in many bands. I really enjoy it! My husband has been supportive and buys all my musical equipment etc. and goes to hear me play.

Now my husband wants to play again and we have been practicing together with the idea that we will start a band. He orignally was the one that wanted to start a band with me. But In the back of my head though I feel he will leave to join another band if he gets another offer. Which he did . Bass players are rare so they get lots of offers.
He seems interested in the other band offer and I guess I feel hurt. He says he'll do both but I know he doesnt have time for both.He says it will make him a better player.
But all honesty I just feel like he got a better offer and he wants it rather than playing with his wife.
wouldn't most men want to play music with their wives??
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
You play music as a hobby. Your husband takes music as more than a hobby. It's really no surprise he'd rather play in a group with better chances.
He's had a lifelong dream. You've had a relatively recent interest. Big difference in mentalities, wants and goals. You want to have fun playing around on instruments. Your husband wants to use what he's worked years and years to improve himself for something bigger.
The choice you have to make is are you going to do your own thing and be supportive of his, or expect he do things you desire?
If the tables were turned would you want.your spouse to be supportive or hurt?
 

kim12345

Senior Member
Aug 4, 2013
361
47
28
#3
Actually it was me that had the life long dream to be a musician .