To A Fallen Police Officer

I know…
What magical feeling you have when patrolling a neighborhood at 4:00am,
How you feel when the sun finally begins to rise after a long, quite shift,
How you probe the neighborhood’s alleys and lanes where bad things start,
All the subtle ways you use the badge, uniform and car to keep things peaceful.
I know all terrible the things you prevented; yes, even better than you.

I know how it feels to stand on pavement,
And direct traffic for hours on a hot summer day,
Sweat running down your back,
Still wearing your dress hat because it's policy.
I know how it feels to finally shed that vest.

I know how you left food on the counter to answer cries for help.
I know Payday lunches grabbed between calls.
I know the feeling you have answering a disturbance call before backup,
... Because it’s the right thing to do.
I know how you look at your family when you get back home.

I Know…
…how you feel when the alert tone sounds,
…how you feel when dispatched to a 10-50(F),
…hospital coffee,
…unpaid overtime, mandatory call-outs, court days.
I know about pensions that won’t cover expenses.

I know how you use laughter to hide your feelings,
…especially from yourself.
I know the case that haunts your memory, even yet.
I know the unexpected light you saw,
Just as I grabbed you under your arms to keep you from falling.

I will hold you for a moment,
And keep you close for all eternity.

I wrote this after the line-of-duty death of a friend. He was shot in the head as he exited his squad car in response to a "Shots Fired" call. He died instantly. I believe in my heart he did experience a flash of light as arms grabbed him and held him tight.

RIP Brother.

Amen.