I’m sorry to hear about your struggles, friend. I’m praying, asking God to surround you and Steven with His love, care and protection. May He be the center of your marriage, draw you closer to each other and give you wisdom as you trust in Him. Also, I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433. Please contact them if you need any encouragement or assistance.