Her name is Jessica Kawecki. She is asking people to share her story on social media. You can search her on Facebook to share:
Im not here to change anyone’s mind, but the ignorance & absolute lack of knowing what you’re talking about floors me.
In 2012, we were pregnant with twins. Happiest time of my life, a little girl & a little boy. My water broke unexpectedly at 19 weeks, with Lila Faith aka Twin A. That day, June 1, 2012 - I was told I would deliver my children within 72 hours, I was losing my kids. I was asked if I knew “my options.” I said what options? I could electively terminate, because I was at high risk for infection. I remember the horror. Every dream I had flashed in front of my face, and life got so dark. When a doctor tells you it doesn’t look good, a professional, it can be very intimidating. Humbling. I thought to myself what do I know? She sees this every day. Is she right? I asked the nurse if there was one single ounce of hope, and she told me point blank, flat out, no stutter - “No.” But my gut absolutely without one doubt screamed, not whispered..Jessica, you keep going.
I had Lila July 15, she was 22 weeks 5 days. Born very much alive, she cried (hello lungs)..beautiful child. 22 weeks 5 days. I held her in my arms until she passed, I don’t remember how long. Long time. She’s a beautiful blessing that I can assure you was very much a child, a person - 22 weeks 5 days. Eyelashes, beautiful hands, perfect face. I will keep her in my heart and my spirit every single day until I see her again. I regret nothing, I wouldn’t change anything, if I could rewrite history without her in it and erase all the pain - I couldn’t. She is an incredible lesson and light, and I appreciate the daylights out of every single experience now. She was my first child & I was blessed to be given the time I had with her.
AGAIN, on that day, I was asked if I “knew my options.” Her placenta did not come out, Miles wasn’t “viable” - again “risk for infection.” Let it ride, Doc. Not folding now. Not today. Not tomorrow. I’ll gamble on every second, for as many as God will give me. I remember Dr Brown saying to me, “This will be very difficult. But if you’re ready for the fight, then take it. Not many could do it, mentally or physically - but something tells me you can.” I replied I was going to do my best and try. So I didn’t stand up for a long time. My mom washed my hair and shaved my legs. I was so sad mourning our loss, but I stayed calm and optimistic for Miles. I owed him that. They routinely took my temperature a lot to make sure I wasn’t hot, AKA getting infected. I remember on the days I felt warm, I’d quickly eat ice chips when I could hear the nurse rolling the thermometer machine down the hall towards me. They weren’t taking Miles from me. Nobody was. I remember the high risk specialist asking, “Are you sure you can do this?” I remember smiling and saying “500%.” He said OK that’s fine, but the first sign you’re sick - that’s it. I said OK thanks I feel great! Have a nice day! See you later! Bye!!” LOL I laugh now..you see, he wasn’t a bad guy, he was a very good guy - but really, it’s all in the way you look at things. If you look at abortion as just another procedure, than sure it would have looked, to some, as if it was saving my life. But keeping Miles, raising Miles - he is what’s saved my life. Yes, it was hard. But going home alone would have been inexplicable. I was given an incredible gift in the end, but I had a LOT of work to do to get there. But isn’t that what motherhood is? Isn’t that what life is?
I held onto that little spitfire babykin with all
of my heart and my soul until the day he was born August 6, at 8 am - the day he turned 25 weeks. He is absolutely EVERYTHING. He’s a survivor, I’m a survivor - and you know what? Sure it was work. Hard work. It tested my faith, my physical person, my grit..I had to go toe to toe with fear, doubt. But you know what would have been worse? Having to live with myself after DECIDING (because it is absolutely a CHOICE) to be medically induced, pull his head out of me, insert scissors in his neck and snip his spine? Have him thrown in a waste bin like yesterday’s news? Are we kidding? For what? Because there’s a chance something could go wrong? I turn the key in my ignition of my Jeep every fcking day and drive places..that’s a risk too.
Miles is 6. Beautiful 6. I speak his story because he matters. And people should know what they’re talking about before popping off with some bullshit. He was born on the morning of 25 weeks, never intubated. And I’ll live every day of MY life knowing I did the right thing by him, as his MOTHER.
My dear friend Becca, who is now a doctor herself, was sitting with me July 16, the day after Lila passed - and when I was RE-PRESENTED with the option to “electively terminate.” It’s so funny how they can make something so horrific just roll off their tongue. Electively terminate. But as I was laying there, with a living, breathing, happy little boy in my belly - not a “fetus” or a cluster of cells, but a PERSON, I said to my friend - how could they ask such a thing? How could anyone do that? She said, and I remember as clear as the day, they can’t make anyone a medical hostage. I didn’t have to be there. So if I wanted to “dump my apple cart & try again” that was my “choice.”
So take your reproductive murderer law & shove it.
I ALWAYS have time to stop for his donuts. Sometimes there’s bath water or mud tracked through the house. But the way I see him, I can’t even explain. His first steps, his words..I watch him hike and snowshoe and swim and eat the whole bag of Flaming Hot Doritos...and it’s alllll good. I embrace every bit of of it.
This is not political. I would never use him as a pawn, he is far too remarkable and I am a bigger person than that. It is about life. It’s about me sharing the incredible gift - that’s real. I share it with love, the same kindness that kid radiates every single day. This is his story, and his miracle.
(I’ve made this post public, and you have my permission to share. There are women, families, who ARE where I’ve been - and are doing the best they can to make decisions with the knowledge they have, and what theyve even been told. If Miles can help ONE CHILD, that’s one more than if we would have remained silent. Hold on as long and as tight as you can, Mamas - even when it gets scary. You will fight, but in the end - don’t make a quick impulsive decision for an immediate “fix” when you can really win in the long run. Don’t let anyone tell you there’s no hope. There is absolutely hope, even if you’re the only one who feels it sometimes. Sending love ❤️)
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