The cost of total forgiveness

I am currently struggling with forgiveness. I guess I am given the opportunity by God to learn what it takes to fully forgive. To be completely honest, it feels like it's gonna take everything in my soul to be able to forgive and let go. And the person I am having the hardest time to forgive....is myself.

Is there any of brothers or sisters here in CC who have similar experiences in the past or perhaps is struggling with the same thing? I would be so honored and grateful to listen to some of your stories which would become words of encouragement for me. Thank you !

I've been there. Our deceitful heart condemns us, but if we're forgiven, then why argue against God?

"Fully forgive" isn't really a clear term. Some people view forgiving as also forgetting, while others view forgiving as not holding anything against a person, yet also no forgetting (particularly if they repeat the mistreatment). So knowing what you're striving for and which is ideal for the situation may help.

i
I have found that forgiving yourself was always easier if whatever was done didnt harm anyone other than myself. It is when you do something that causes harm to the ones you love even when it was unintentional is what makes forgiving yourself very difficult. But we must keep trying. We are all human, all sinners, we all fall and make mistakes. Jesus forgives us if we repent. As far as others forgiving me, well i havent much say in that. Well thats my short opinion. God bless...gary

Thank you. I guess I am trying to "measure" God's forgiveness through my painful circumstances now. I am acutely aware that all of these are consequences of my own deeds and they've become unbearable. And then came self-loathing....I hate myself for doing what I had already known would invite disaster into my life.....

I am experiencing the painful consequences of my own deeds. Yes, there was another "participant" in the whole mess but....perhaps since I am fully aware I couldn't blame the other person, I pointed the finger at myself.....because after all, I should have known better. It is extremely painful to realise that I am the one who inflicted all this pain on myself. If forgiveness will bring healing....then I have to forgive one person I am holding accountable in this case....myself. And I am having hard time because what if it means I can never trust myself anymore?

Well, it is more like I let harm done to me....by believing in lies the other person told me. That means I am the one who actually invited the destruction into my life. What if I could never trust myself ever again? How could I forgive myself for inflicting the unbelievable pain on me? ruining my own life? I guess the part "I had known that this was coming....I had been "warned" but I chose to go with my heart....and now....life in broken pieces" ...is what makes forgiving myself...really really hard.

Thank you so much.....

Always
Always keep the faith. Try to to judge yourself to harshly. And always know your never alone with greif and disaster. You cant tell by looking at others the trials they are going through, but they.are or were or are going to. Nobpdy goes through life without some sort of severe trial or trials i have learned that much. The world of ourselvs is self contained and only ourselves know what its like to be in our skin besides God. Its a very difficult world out there filled with all sorts of temptations but we will get through it all and one day look back and somehow be all the better for our suffering by being honest with ourselves and God. God bless...gary