Living in fear

More like on the spectrum. I'm high-functioning.

Same they recently changed it from Asperger's to Autistic Spectrum Disorder mild or high functioning. I can tell your the thinking type which is blessing and curse as I am learning. I'm afraid I cant answer all your questions myself since I consistently come up so many myself but feel free to drop me a message

I feel so mad right now.

I feel like no matter what I do, I'll always, always be alone. I've been trying for years to make friends, I've been praying for years to make friends, and nothing. NOTHING. Apparently God just wants me all to himself. Well, he'd better get used to me not talking to him until things change. God wants my faith? I want his. I'm sick of having to maintain this "relationship" all by myself.

Yes, I'm angry at God. So what? How else am I supposed to react to being disappointed again and again and again?

Then again, why expect anything of him at all? He's God. He can do whatever he wants, however he wants, when he wants it.

He might have blessed me with many things, but that's what they are, things. Not people. You can have a ton of money and a big fancy house and whatever and still be miserable. You can love those things but those same things can never love you back.

Every person in the world is self-absorbed anyway. We talk about having intentional relationships and yet have no intention of actually making them happen.

I don't expect anyone to respond to this. Just go about your day. I don't care. I'm used to nobody including God caring anyway. My hope train at this point is running on fumes.

Hello HistoryPrincess,

You are in a safe place to blow up! You go, girl! lol! Let it all out!!

You are loved very much and never alone. That's just your 5 physical senses telling your brain you're all alone. It happens to all of us. It's going to take your 5 spiritual senses to be aware of God's presence and that He is with you always, even to the end of this world. Your heart operates with your 5 spiritual senses.

We got to reach out for God without demands, just reach out for God because we want Him and nothing else. Our heads can't do this because our heads can't see Him, but out hearts can cry out and reach for Him and find Him! Our hearts seek love, our heads cannot know love.

God is very intentional on having a relationship with you, He gave His one and only begotten Son for you!

Our flesh throws a little temper tantrum and gets all sulking in a pity party because it's not getting what it wants but, God is not moved until our hearts cry out for Him and Him alone.

Dear Heavenly Father,

In the Name of Yeshua/Jesus, make Your precious abiding love known to HistoryPrincess, amen.

God is not moved until our hearts cry out for Him and Him alone.

This isn't about throwing a temper tantrum. This is about not having my most basic relationship needs met.

Enough with this nonsense about 5 "spiritual" senses. I'm not having it anymore. Speak English to me.

I've tried reaching out to God just for him. People, everything you tell me to try, I'VE TRIED IT ALREADY!!!!!!

If God wanted a relationship with me, why make it 10 times harder for me than the average person? And so what if he gave his one and only begotten son for me? He's done that for billions of other people. So what if God loves me? He loves everyone. I want something that's mine and mine alone.

Churches must take loneliness seriously. You know why? A lot of mass shooters are chronically lonely. Kids as young as 10 years old are trying to commit suicide. Instead of just praying for us, why don't you actually BE there for us? Or are you too self-absorbed and important?

Sweet HistoryPrincess,

I'm enjoying your frankness and honesty! You are refreshing!

God in His infinite wisdom has designed us that we cannot fully meet each other's needs. We will always be disappointed when we expect people to be everything we want them to be and everything we need them to be - not going to happen.

Only God can satisfy the lonely soul. We get ourselves in so many bad relationships with people because we get so desperate for love and only make things worse for us and the other person.

Yeshua/Jesus told us to come to him.

Matthew 11:28-30 King James Version (KJV)
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Lord,

HistoryPrincess needs Your Light. Light her candle. Cast out any and all darkness, light her candle, Lord. Father, I'm asking in the Name of Yeshua/Jesus - the Light of the world, amen.

If only God can satisfy the lonely soul, why then did God create Eve for Adam, before the fall of Man?

God wants children and lots of them! lol!

When we enter a romantic relationship between one man and one woman, we need to enter already satisfied by God and the only reason we enter a relationship with another person is not to get something but, only to give. The other person, likewise, should enter the relationship for the same reason.

It works really well, if we do it God's way. However, oftentimes, we enter the relationship with expectations of that person meeting our needs and wants...........and don't understand why it doesn't happen.

Really? That was the only reason God made Eve for Adam? Just to make babies?

I thought it had something to do with the fact that it was not good for the man to be alone. I don't see anything about making babies.

You are correct but, God also said:


Genesis 1:28 King James Version (KJV)
28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Hello HistoryPrincess, there are plently of people out there who can relate to your struggle with making friends. You are not alone in this. Relationships are important and I believe some people have a longing and desire for more relationships while others are more reserved. Perhaps you just have not yet found the friends for you who will accept you for you.