How to get over this?

So I was reading the book of Acts today to see if the Pauline Epistles contradict Acts (Ive read a good article saying it does not and it made sense just double checking because of Ocd and anxiety) but than I read the story of the married couple who tried to join the Apostles and with held funds and both died! It scared me so much that I almost puked....I dont dont know what to do. I tried drawing a comic today and I was pondering a funny one today and I felt myself think "I hope this doesn't turn bad in my head" and of course blashemous thoughts entered my head now when I think of particular characters from my books or anything the thoughts sideline me 😢 I cant stand my brain! It will not stop!

Roman 8:38-39

What made you think that parts of the Bible would contradict in the first place? What help are you gettting to manage the driving thoughts? Don't know if this will work for you, but when I was in a situation where I was really stressed and my thoughts wouldn't stop, I found that the best way to manage stuff was to get out and move. I've found that overwhelming thoughts are less overwhelming if my brain is ticking over on them while I move (probably something to do with they physicial and biochemical effects of exercise, but it worked for me and exercise is a good habit and coping mechanism). Might be good to get a mentor as well who has some more wisdom and insight for when you come across these difficult passages of scripture or questions about it.

I just want you to know I care and am praying for your struggles. God is faitful,full of love and compassion and He gives GOOD GIFTS unto His children! I have family members that suffer with chemical imbalances in the brain,I know first hand your stuggles. May peace,love and His joy flood your thoughts. Love LAM!

Just don't ever lie to an apostle. They are all in heaven now so that would literally be impossible.

I have been lately actually making a more pronounced scriptural references in my card game but my brain likes to actively sabotage everything I enjoy

Kojikun said:

I have been lately actually making a more pronounced scriptural references in my card game but my brain likes to actively sabotage everything I enjoy

Click to expand...

I can relate to what you are saying, and simply want to encourage you to keep making a concerted effort to, as the Scriptures say, take every thought captive. I found this online for you

1. Accept responsibility for your thoughts. You have the ability to exercise control over your thoughts. God warned Cain to focus his mind on the right things, but Cain chose to think about the wrong things - anger and jealousy - which led to his murderous actions. Are you willing to admit that you can, with God's help, regain control of your thoughts - and think enabling thoughts instead of disabling ones?
   
2. Your mind - not just your behavior - must change. God calls us to change sinful behavior that does not honor Him. Instead of focusing on your outward behavior, work on disciplining your mind - from which the behaviors stem. Allow God to transform you by the renewing of your mind (Rom. 12:2).
   
3. Think through your problems rather than just react to them. When you experience difficult challenges, you can react to them and think yourself into despair every time. Or you can look forward to the next opportunity and ask yourself what you learned from this failure. Is your first thought I'll never do anything right? You don't have to get trapped by disabling thoughts. You are capable of getting out of your shame, despair, hopelessness, and anger - by taking control of your thoughts.
   
4. Take your disabling thoughts captive through confession. Paul urges us to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (Rom. 12:21). Confront your disabling thoughts. Turn them over to God and become who He sees you can be. It will take work to take your thoughts captive each time they pop into your mind. But it is possible with the help of the Holy Spirit.
   
5. Choose to focus your thoughts on the right things. We are to think about those things that are "true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable" (Phil. 4:8). When we think about those things, God promises to give us His peace. What a contrast that is to the thoughts of millions of people today. Don't look to a movie, TV show, or how-to formula to accomplish this for you. It takes personal discipline and commitment.
   
6. It is possible. It is not easy to retrain your thoughts or to respond in new Christ-like ways. Take heart: as God empowers you to focus your mind on the right things, it will become easier. You can develop a new frame of reference, based on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. source

Faith is the operant power of the Holy spirit, and just in getting things done or have them happen/ established... Those people believed that the Holy Spirit would leave them or have left them after they have committed that offense .. The spirit is what keeps a person alive, and when He goes you can no longer be alive. So in reality it is not their offence that did it, it was their belief/ faith.
Jesus with the woman of issue of blood, he tells her after she gets her healing by touching him that her faith has made her whole. Not only this but it says that he felt power come out of Him when she did it, that is why he turned around and said " who touched me?". Normally He would go around and administer faith and power on His own, but He never had a person operate and act in faith on their own.....
I have personally seen many accounts in my life with this happening even on things i didn't want for example i used to get really bad allergies when doing lawn work on my yard. My belief in getting allergies from dealing with it were so bad that even if i knew that i was going to have to do it i would already start sneezing, and my nose would start running. I remember i would literally take medicine as a preemptive measure to deal with the allergies before they would even start and i would get even more sick shortly after. Faith/belief and works can take you there. My faith was that lawn work makes me have allergies, and my works were believing and taking medicine..

Peter in acts is speaking over the two, and he believes that they would die for lying and withholding... Understand that these guys would on a daily operate in faith over people because the people didn't know to do it themselves yet. Also in the book of acts the apostles were still new and somewhat still on that old testament condemn mindset, where if you do something dumb you die. And as they believe, it must be so according to faith in the spirit.

As for what's going on in your skull, it is what it is. We all have it, and fighting thoughts is like trying to have a fist fight with smoke. You are not your thoughts. All the brain does is regurgitate/repeat things and ideas it has picked up from being in the world. It is wise to realize that it is not you, and not to identify yourself with it. Rather it would be more fruitful to identify with being a saint, righteous in Christ, because that is you. When the negative blasphemous thoughts pass, observe them as they come while trying to give you that identity. Rather than feel guilty and negatively invested in them and about your perceived self with these passing thoughts, try laughing at them because they aren't you...

Practicing this is both an act of denial of self, and renewing the mind to who you really are in Christ. Its one of the things i have picked up and it works, you might find it useful.

Hey do you mind messaging me?

I will second going for a walk/exercise.

Has worked wonders for me personally...certainly I am still assailed at times but it's like sound in a box vs sound in an open air environment. I rarely do it until I feel just "driven" to it, but it's definitely helpful.

Every environment has its own positives and negatives when it comes to thoughts. Of course, the constant unchanging variable is the Lord. I am a changing variable though

Kind of just learning what is you, what is oppression, and where set/setting factor in to productive "abiding". Thoughts that are spiraling and chaotic I find need I need a distraction of some kind, be it eating, deep breathing, WATER, shower, walking or what have you. Anything important ime will remain. The Lord understands our humanity...although at times it can seem otherwise when we are terrified or experiencing negative headspaces/moods.

Today I've been strangely restful...and it is my day off, but even mentally it's like I got a day off too. Was pretty cool, because I can't attribute that to me in any way.

To put your mind at ease, it wasn't that they withheld funds. What they did was lied about how much they gave. They wanted to look like they were giving a lot, in order to look good in the eyes of the people around them. Lying about what they gave is what got them in trouble. God searches the attitude of the heart. That is a constant in all our interactions with him and the people around us. He is not looking for our destruction. He wants us to be whole. We need to be honest with him and others. This couple was deceitful and claimed things about themselves in relation to God. That is a big cup of nope.