I've been suffering from severe guilt and shame over my past. Although I was saved as a child, I had been living a very secular lifestyle ever since high school. I got involved with very broken people and did a lot of things I feel like I can never forgive myself for. Lately, I've been re-reading Psalms and I was deeply moved when he would cry out to the Lord. And God answered: He helped David fight his battles. My favorite chapter is Psalm 18, which is about God's victory over David's enemies. I realize that God is my refuge (even when Satan is tormenting me about my past). God is fighting this spiritual battle alongside me. This poem (or prayer) is inspired by my reading of Psalms. I hope it can encourage anyone who is struggling with their past and is frightened of the future.
"Oh Lord My God
Guard my soul and guide my heart.
Heal the pain of the past
And focus my eyes not on fear of the future.
For nobody knows the future but you,
And what a joyous future awaits
The one who fears the Lord!
I approach you as a weak lamb
Asking for the strength of a lion.
You touch my face with the light of your forgiveness.
You bandage my wounds.
You knight me with a mighty sword.
You dress me in armor of righteousness.
You teach me to fight, how to parry and advance.
I am tormented night and day by the enemy.
But he flees when he hears Your name.
Yes, he trembles before You can unsheathed Your sword!
The sun rises on another victorious day!
For You are fighting alongside me
And You cannot be defeated!
So be still, my heart!
Quiet yourself and find rest in the Lord!
Worry yourself not with the past or the future,
For the God who holds all time holds me in His great hand,
And He will not forsake me.
I seek refuge in my King: my steadfast fortress and safe place."
"Oh Lord My God
Guard my soul and guide my heart.
Heal the pain of the past
And focus my eyes not on fear of the future.
For nobody knows the future but you,
And what a joyous future awaits
The one who fears the Lord!
I approach you as a weak lamb
Asking for the strength of a lion.
You touch my face with the light of your forgiveness.
You bandage my wounds.
You knight me with a mighty sword.
You dress me in armor of righteousness.
You teach me to fight, how to parry and advance.
I am tormented night and day by the enemy.
But he flees when he hears Your name.
Yes, he trembles before You can unsheathed Your sword!
The sun rises on another victorious day!
For You are fighting alongside me
And You cannot be defeated!
So be still, my heart!
Quiet yourself and find rest in the Lord!
Worry yourself not with the past or the future,
For the God who holds all time holds me in His great hand,
And He will not forsake me.
I seek refuge in my King: my steadfast fortress and safe place."
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