Judgemental

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Dec 28, 2019
54
28
18
#21
O Yea indeed you will be hated. After all how many will make it to the end?. The Lord said in Luke 18:8b, .."Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth? '
 
E

EliBeth

Guest
#22
My mom said the other day I've become more judgmental when I became christian. Unfortunately I get no good answers from Christian's. Either they say do not judge or they sa actually it says we can judge when the plank is out of our eye. Should I be arrogant enough to think I can see clearly? Either way the change I thought happened seems to be a lie.
Well, for example we may sound/seem judgmental when we tell someone who does not know Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior that they are a sinner who deserves God's wrath. But it is truth (if they have not placed their faith in Christ), and necessary truth at that. We are called to do this (i.e. share the Gospel) in a humble, caring, loving manner, even if someone then labels us as judgmental. The fact cannot be skirted around: Sin kills without believing in the sacrifice of Jesus.

I honestly think a lot of it goes back to our own heart, our motive, our love (or lack thereof). God cares about our heart- it's talked about over and over in the Bible. If a Christian judges someone and they do so with jealousy in their heart, that's wrong I think. If a Christian judges another with anger and malice in their heart, I think that's wrong too. But when a Christian's greatest desire is for the sincere benefit of the other person (i.e. out of love), that is more along the lines of a righteous judgment. Though even then perhaps it may not be a totaly righteous judgment depending upon all of the details.

I wholeheartedly agree that we have to be oh so careful with this judging thing. But we shouldn't say, "I will absolutely never confront someone because I don't want to be known as judgmental." The prophets in the OT were probably known by most as pretty judgmental folk, but it was certainly God's will and business that they were doing.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
981
113
34
#23
If we are literally speaking of judging someone, let it be done with understanding. Discerning the causal factor for their decision, beyond fleshly delight. Let compassion well up in you and if you judge, let it be done with correction and restoration in mind.

“There is a better way!”, ought to be the cry they hear, that you, as even the Holy Spirit does, grieve for others and their decisions. Before Israel stood life and death and God implored that they choose life! So should we encourage people to walk righteously.

Why suffer needlessly? The penalty for sin is death, and what momentary pleasure is had quickly fleets, into a spiral of never ending hunger. You starve, never truly being satiated. A hunger only delivered from by God, as He satisfies the soul and makes us new creations, able to walk in love.

This love, this love, is beautiful and where sin was only pleasurable for a moment, love is lasting. Righteousness endures. There is peace to be had that no sin can offer, and that peace is found in love, and that love is found in God.
 
Dec 28, 2019
54
28
18
#24
Well, for example we may sound/seem judgmental when we tell someone who does not know Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior that they are a sinner who deserves God's wrath. But it is truth (if they have not placed their faith in Christ), and necessary truth at that. We are called to do this (i.e. share the Gospel) in a humble, caring, loving manner, even if someone then labels us as judgmental. The fact cannot be skirted around: Sin kills without believing in the sacrifice of Jesus.

I honestly think a lot of it goes back to our own heart, our motive, our love (or lack thereof). God cares about our heart- it's talked about over and over in the Bible. If a Christian judges someone and they do so with jealousy in their heart, that's wrong I think. If a Christian judges another with anger and malice in their heart, I think that's wrong too. But when a Christian's greatest desire is for the sincere benefit of the other person (i.e. out of love), that is more along the lines of a righteous judgment. Though even then perhaps it may not be a totaly righteous judgment depending upon all of the details.

I wholeheartedly agree that we have to be oh so careful with this judging thing. But we shouldn't say, "I will absolutely never confront someone because I don't want to be known as judgmental." The prophets in the OT were probably known by most as pretty judgmental folk, but it was certainly God's will and business that they were doing.

I understand, but I have been doing this for many, many years in the Ministry, the Word of God. and I just allow for the Lord to order my steps and that is all that matters. Give them the Word and if they received it in a wrong way, well that is between God and them. If I am wrong then for the Lord to correct me. I live alone for the Lord and the Lord has prepared me in so many ways for this Ministry. Of course i know for many individuals when they bring up the topic of 'Judgment' individuals become offensive because many do not read the Holy Scriptures and do not know the mind of Christ, and they are not ready to live for Christ. When you fall in love with Christ, there is no jerking and rebellion. Why? Because that individual is surrender to live for the Lord! That is the prob, when rebellion/ anger occurs there is a rebel at heart... Yes we will get persecuted and we prepare our hearts for that also. When John the Baptist came forward and call them out, it was straight forward. Same with Christ. He is loving God but he also tells us in Col 3:6, ' For which things’ sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience', and many other scriptures. ''For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth' Prov 3:12. The days are at hand! There is no more playing church or Christian. He will not leave no stone unturn. These are the days that are real critical ..
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,419
113
#25
My mom said the other day I've become more judgmental when I became christian. Unfortunately I get no good answers from Christian's. Either they say do not judge or they sa actually it says we can judge when the plank is out of our eye. Should I be arrogant enough to think I can see clearly? Either way the change I thought happened seems to be a lie.
My basic rule of thumb for this is becoming stop telling people what they're doing wrong and tell people what they can do to produce better outcomes instead. That's the closest thing I have to a help for being judgmental without just throwing all standards out the window.
 
E

EliBeth

Guest
#26
I just allow for the Lord to order my steps
Yes, this is important. 🙂

I've learned, at least in my own life, that sometimes it is the wrong time to confront. I have had to bide my tongue at times, because while I may have known the truth, the truth wouldn't be well-received in that moment. I think we, Christians, sometimes forget that it's God that changes a person, not our words. One question I have had to ask myself is, "Have I prayed for them first (before confronting)?" Because if our objective is just for them to see our point of view (even if we are right in our judgment) and not for them to truly have a change of heart to the glory of God, something is wrong. If we confront, confront, confront in judgment, but do not pray in earnest... I think that is off kilter. By no means am I saying this is what you do! No. I am only sharing this side of the coin that I thought of. 🙂

Btw, welcome to Christian Chat, IAm7! 👋
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#27
I had a co worker before who was living in sin of sexual immorality. She has 4 sons from different fathers. She was aware that people were judging her and talking behind her back. She was not repentant, in fact she was proud and would even say that only God can judge her or that nobody is perfect and those who talk behind her back were just jealous of her. To talk some sense into her, I was tempted to tell her, yes God will surely judge you and pour over His wrath to you for all eternity in hell. But i don't want to sound judgmental so I just shut my mouth. Maybe I should have just said the truth.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#28
I had a co worker before who was living in sin of sexual immorality. She has 4 sons from different fathers. She was aware that people were judging her and talking behind her back. She was not repentant, in fact she was proud and would even say that only God can judge her or that nobody is perfect and those who talk behind her back were just jealous of her. To talk some sense into her, I was tempted to tell her, yes God will surely judge you and pour over His wrath to you for all eternity in hell. But i don't want to sound judgmental so I just shut my mouth. Maybe I should have just said the truth.
What if she repented of her sin? I would tell her she needs to do that or would face consequences...
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#29
I guess this would be a really bad time to mention the correct spelling of judgmental... that would seem judgmental... so yeah, I won't mention it. :censored:
I think it is more of the spelling police than a judgmental thing I get it sometimes I'm on the police force too.....lol
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
2,176
113
#30
I had a coworker come up to me in the lunchroom and tell me I was going to hell.... Really? Why's that? Because you aren't taking your daughter to church.... I think I said that it would be up to God if I went to hell or not, but would you like to take my daughter to church?

My friend had a shocked look on her face but she said well yes, I will take her to church... And that my dear brothers and sisters is how I got my Sunday mornings free to be able to go buy our groceries for the week with no stress of a child not behaving in the store... Little did my friend know she was a blessing although a tad judgmental blessing for a single mother who couldn't afford a babysitter that was now given a free morning knowing my child was safe and hearing Bible stories which would not hurt her one bit....
 
Dec 28, 2019
54
28
18
#31
Yes, this is important. 🙂

I've learned, at least in my own life, that sometimes it is the wrong time to confront. I have had to bide my tongue at times, because while I may have known the truth, the truth wouldn't be well-received in that moment. I think we, Christians, sometimes forget that it's God that changes a person, not our words. One question I have had to ask myself is, "Have I prayed for them first (before confronting)?" Because if our objective is just for them to see our point of view (even if we are right in our judgment) and not for them to truly have a change of heart to the glory of God, something is wrong. If we confront, confront, confront in judgment, but do not pray in earnest... I think that is off kilter. By no means am I saying this is what you do! No. I am only sharing this side of the coin that I thought of. 🙂

Btw, welcome to Christian Chat, IAm7! 👋
Dear, let me tell you a bit of myself; I have minister in the institutions for over twenty years both Federal and State. Ministry hold seminars for hundreds of individuals at a time or I could travel across the states only to have one individual attend. This would mean I might do this every weekend starting from Wed- Sunday. I devoted my life to medium max to death row. Now the Ministry i do is Muslims. Been doing this for over seven years. I approach ppl in the streets at random and what ever we discuss it is what it is. I just follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. I do not fear anything. If it cost my life so be it! I have gone through to much and I am alive by the Grace of God! I have been to hell and back, and I serious mean that. But the Lord delivered me fr a corrupted life. I started here with the young lady above that needed answers to if we should judge or not. I gave her the Word of God and the Lord guide her from there. I cannot tell you if the individual should do this or that because we never know what will occur in that moment. All is in the leading of the Lord. To minister to individuals comes easier to me because I have been doing this for years and you pay a high price for this calling. The Lord ordains. That is all i can say.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
981
113
34
#32
I had a coworker come up to me in the lunchroom and tell me I was going to hell.... Really? Why's that? Because you aren't taking your daughter to church.... I think I said that it would be up to God if I went to hell or not, but would you like to take my daughter to church?

My friend had a shocked look on her face but she said well yes, I will take her to church... And that my dear brothers and sisters is how I got my Sunday mornings free to be able to go buy our groceries for the week with no stress of a child not behaving in the store... Little did my friend know she was a blessing although a tad judgmental blessing for a single mother who couldn't afford a babysitter that was now given a free morning knowing my child was safe and hearing Bible stories which would not hurt her one bit....
How many people are quick to point out problems and not offer a solution? Better yet, they complain when all along they themselves are able to solve it. My pastor not too long ago did a sermon on this and he said he needs to start carrying around a small mirror so when people ask him to do things like helping the poor (allocating more time or funds), or any particular task, he can raise the mirror for them to see their self. Lol
 
Dec 28, 2019
54
28
18
#34
Yes, this is important. 🙂

I've learned, at least in my own life, that sometimes it is the wrong time to confront. I have had to bide my tongue at times, because while I may have known the truth, the truth wouldn't be well-received in that moment. I think we, Christians, sometimes forget that it's God that changes a person, not our words. One question I have had to ask myself is, "Have I prayed for them first (before confronting)?" Because if our objective is just for them to see our point of view (even if we are right in our judgment) and not for them to truly have a change of heart to the glory of God, something is wrong. If we confront, confront, confront in judgment, but do not pray in earnest... I think that is off kilter. By no means am I saying this is what you do! No. I am only sharing this side of the coin that I thought of. 🙂

Btw, welcome to Christian Chat, IAm7! 👋
O thank you! I forgot to tell you this.. All to the Glory of God!
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#36
I think she knows that she is in sin but is unrepentant. She just gave birth to another baby from a another man who is not her husband.
That’s really sad... I would try to give a hopeful solution rather than telling them they are going to hell. Most don’t take that advice to well.
 
M

morefaithrequired

Guest
#37
I had a co worker before who was living in sin of sexual immorality. She has 4 sons from different fathers. She was aware that people were judging her and talking behind her back. She was not repentant, in fact she was proud and would even say that only God can judge her or that nobody is perfect and those who talk behind her back were just jealous of her. To talk some sense into her, I was tempted to tell her, yes God will surely judge you and pour over His wrath to you for all eternity in hell. But i don't want to sound judgmental so I just shut my mouth. Maybe I should have just said the truth.
you were right to shut your mouth. only God can judge her.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,669
113
#38
My mom said the other day I've become more judgmental when I became christian. Unfortunately I get no good answers from Christian's. Either they say do not judge or they sa actually it says we can judge when the plank is out of our eye. Should I be arrogant enough to think I can see clearly? Either way the change I thought happened seems to be a lie.
Hi Kojikun. We are advised to use good judgment. We are to be wise and discerning. Usually when people say don't judge, what they mean is that they don't want light shined on their darkness. We are to be gentle and speak the truth in love, and we should feel no shame in honesty. Proverbs is all about truth and wisdom. Be gentle as a dove and wise as a serpent. Good judgement is scriptural. People will twist things and unfortunately when we change we will get opposition. It hurts. We question ourselves but stand firm. Please continue on the path that God gave you. I am sorry that sometimes the path is lonely.
 
M

morefaithrequired

Guest
#39
My mom said the other day I've become more judgmental when I became christian. Unfortunately I get no good answers from Christian's. Either they say do not judge or they sa actually it says we can judge when the plank is out of our eye. Should I be arrogant enough to think I can see clearly? Either way the change I thought happened seems to be a lie.
im leaning towards your mum being right. Only because mothers tend to communicate in love and for your benefit.
 
M

morefaithrequired

Guest
#40
the truth in love?
How many of us want us to hear that?
My doubt would be that the telling me some "truths" might not be accurate.
and who does the
telling?
strangers on the net? sometimes strangers get it right but often its out of context and off the mark.
aboutcthe onky person I trust to tell me home truths about myself is my partner. she will get it wrong maybe 5%.