Things salespeople say....

Just some random late afternoon thoughts about the importance of language.

Have you heard a sales pitch where the salesperson kind of takes a pause and then says: "Okay, I'm going to be completely honest here". When that happens to me alarm bells start going off....first if someone has to tell me they're being honest, that's a problem....and I also wonder if everything they said prior to this, if it was all lies.

Another bugaboo is the word "invest" instead of spend.....I was on a used car lot many years back and the salesman asked me how much I wanted to "invest" in a car. I asked him if he thought I was stupid....because what kind of idiot would I be if I was investing in a used car....I wasn't investing, I was spending.

what about, 'you can't afford to be without this'!!!
great POST,
we have definitely been there done that toooooo many time in our way-past!!!

now, we see things as they are, and what grief this brings us as we have to watch
and see the results on our loved ones and friends, for no matter how we witness
and share, they willingly choose to 'buy the pitch' being given to them -
oh well, this is how WE LEARNED...always hoping that they do, but we're not
to hopeful...

"Value is back, at (name of store.)"

So... that store did not have any values yesterday? If it is back, that means they once had something of value, but then they did not, but now it has returned. What were they selling yesterday, overpriced junk? How has it improved since then, that now it is a value?

I'm not making this up. I heard it on a commercial on my mother's TV, and it wasn't on a local station. It was a chain store... in fact, one of the biggest fast food chains. And they made a commercial that raised that many questions?

This is not exactly a sales person story but it is funny to me

A man went to a Vet with his Cat. The receptionist said ''Name'' he said ''Tiddywinkle'' when it was his turn the receptionist called out
''Mr Tiddiwinkle''

He had it coming. Any man who would name a cat Tiddywinkle deserves whatever humiliation he gets. A name like that is a nomenclatural tin can on the tail of a feline's dignity.

I dont ever listen to commercial radio or watch ads on tv. Becuase salepeople on them talk a mile a minute trying to pitch you to buy their stuff and say dumb things like.

HURRY into our store. Sale ends on xxx .

Excuse me mr salesperson. Im not hurrying anywhere. Plus if I dont shop at your store on that day I can just wait another week or so and you will still be open. Or go to another one. I shop where I when I want to shop and spend what I want to spend, or not, and I will take my time, so, dont tell me to hurry!

But if you don't hurry you will miss the sale! Then you will have to wait until their next sale, maybe even a whole three weeks from now!

For me, it is clothes shopping. I do not do it often and I am rather private. What I dread is this.
"Hi, I'm Chrissy. What are you looking for today? Can I help you find anything? Do you want a different size in that? Can I put it in the dressing room for you? What is your name so I can put it on the door?".
At this point I am still just getting out of my car and am holding my own coat, while she tries to wrestle it out of my hands to hang it up in the change room.
When I do get in and find a couple of items, I make my way to my room, and I have a micro-second before, the door flies open. "Hi. It's Chrissy. Chrissy with a C. So how is it going? How is everything fitting? Let's see. Oh that looks so good!". I am only half dressed and haven't put on anything new yet. I am standing under florescent lights, in my undergarments and leggings (do not visualize). I shoo her out. When I do get into something, I step out to see myself in a proper sized mirror.
"Oh my gosh that looks sooooo good. Seriously. I would snap that up. It is like it was made for you. That's why I picked it out. Do you want me to take it to the counter?". I look at myself in the pleather crop top with a peplum frill, that she handed me when I'd stepped into the change room.
I look like a discount circus performer. I debate faking my own death.
My fantasy is to have a shopping experience where I get honest feedback, even if it is terrible.
"Well the colour is good on you but the backside looks like two turkeys fighting in a sack", or " It gives you an hourglass figure but only if you stand sideways". The best would be to hear, " Yes. This is lovely, but it is up to you if you. Take your time", but then reality sinks in. I struggle through the few remaining choices I brought in with me, while trying to ignore the encouragements. Afterwards, I leave the change room and go up to the cashier. I hand the lady my credit card and pay for my own coat. It is easier this way.

laughingheart you sound almost exactly like Erma Bombeck. Have you been reading her books a lot lately? Especially the last line about paying for your own coat.

I don't know where you shop, but down here in west TN they don't even pay attention to you unless you ask one where something is or are checking out. I mean... we're friendly here in the South, they'll chat at the checkout counter, but they figure we can make our own decisions.

The only place I've ever run into effusive salesmen-women-people (whatever is politically correct these days) is when I buy a car. Last time that happened, it was a friend of mine selling it so I was comfortable enough with him that I could ask him to please turn off the sales pitch.

Lynx you absolutely made my day. I haven't read her in a decade or two but she is an icon.
In general, when you go into a store, it is almost impossible to find help. The exception to the rule is in plus sized women's clothing stores. Back in the day when you had commissioned sales staff you had really vigorous competition amongst the sales clerks. I did have a "I'm Chrissy with a C" because there was also Krissy with a K working that same day. The tension between the two was palpable. I was reminded twice of the difference.
The girls would put you in the room, practically stand guard, and escort you to the til to make sure they got their cut. The worst part was that no matter what you tried on, you would hear, "Oh that looks great!". You couldn't believe a word they said. As for the pleather top, it was actually a thing. A sales lady had grabbed it and said I needed to just try it on and I couldn't know if it was great until I saw it and it was such a deal. I was in a hurry and I felt so awkward with her going on and on, and standing there so proud of herself, I bought it. Once I got home I saw the true hideousness of the piece. It looked like Bavarian dominatrix wear (I don't know if that is a thing but it was so bad). The next day I went back, snuck in scanning for Chrissy, and returned it.
I was so embarrassed. So I may not have actually bought my own coat, but that day, it probably would have been a smarter thing to do, lol.
In regards to the original posting, I probably could have just said, I wish salespeople would not tell you something looks great if it doesn't, but where is the fun in that? Grin.

Oh for sure, a lot more fun the other way. I'm debating sending a copy to my mother. She reads Erma Bombeck, and she often speaks in a similar manner about an outrageous experience.

Hmm... and now I sound over-encouraging like those pushy sales ladies...

Send away. That would be an honour. Your mom sounds fun.

I'm enjoying reading the banter between you two laughing and lynx.....my mother was a huge fan of Bombeck as well, although I never read anything by her, for the same reason I have an aversion to eating quiche probably. The book I remember my mom remarking on often was 'If life is a bowl of cherries why am I living in the pits" or something close to that.