New Christians in Unmarried Partnerships.

All right. Economics affecting things how?
Thanks.

You would think being married with children would offer more financial benefits i.e. tax credits because of dependents and bigger house hold size.

However, I have known of people who are actually defrauding the government by living together. In some situations one of the partners male or female does not have a job and they are filing for benefits for them and the children such as welfare, housing, food etc and not claiming the working partner in the home. Or in some cases, both are working and one filing single, the other filing separately as head of household so one may have to pay a small amount of taxes but the one filing head of house hold and claiming the children is receiving a big tax refund because with out using the other partners income it allows them to fall in a lower tax bracket.

I've actually heard of married people getting a divorce and still living together just to defraud the government in this way. Anyway you look at it though, it is lying, cheating, and pretty much stealing...

see my thread on marriage expensive or just the wedding?

That is my friends situation but she wants to do the right thing by God and to be an honest woman. Shes been saying her partner is her fiance for years now and she has a 12 year old son. They are finally getting married in September, shes been praying her partner would come to the Lord. It can take a while...he was raised in church though, like all minsiters sons was a bit rebellious or put off by church.

Its harder when women become christians because if men do they can easily do the right thing and propose but culture and tradition says its not usually the woman that asks the man to marry them.

church weddings need not be expensive, its just people make them so. You can get registered at a courthouse even.

The thing to do is to help people get right with God and then He will help them to sort things out. To often I have put things off until later and the people die and it turns out there never was a later to help them to get saved and right with God. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5,6) Today is the day and now is the acceptable time for Salvation (2Cor6:2)

For this reason, I believe the couple should stay together. It is my opinion that non-Christian couples who marry aren't truly married anyway. They haven't made their vows under the authority of the Creator God. As Christ-followers we should not be advocating further family dysfunction by demanding that they break up.

We have to be really careful here. It drives me absolutely insane when a pastor starts droning on about how the men in America are not living up to God's expectations. They chastise us, berate us, and ultimately tear us down until we become very small in the eyes of our wives. It is as if Satan's feminist sledgehammer has finally penetrated their skulls so there is no more thought process left. It ultimately leads to great women of God succumbing to the pressure of leaving their husbands for "better men of God."

That is exactly what happened to me. I lost my wife, my son and my business, all because she thought it would be better to run off with a "better Christian man." It has been by far the most brutal attack Satan has ever leveled against me.

I don't want to call you out here, but this is my point exactly. When you say "the duty of the Christian [is] to leave their partner," it just plays into Satan's hands. I know that by not being married, this couple is living in sin. I get that. But please think about the children they have together. Are we going to advocate breaking up a home just so we can say they "did the right thing?" By keeping this couple together, married or not, they have a much better chance to serve God.

I would give anything to have my family back.

if you are together with someone dont leave them and if you are single dont go looking for someone is Pauls advice in Cornithians. I think he meant it because there is so much energy wasted on obtaining divorces or looking for a spouse when the focus ought to be on spreading the gospel and loving one another no matter what your status is.

Yep this is Paul's advice to the married, not the ones who are shacking up. Not being married and living together (having sex) whether you have kids or not is considered fornication. So what would be the problem with getting married if you are already living together and have kids?

If you want to live with someone and have sexual intercourse with someone you have to be married. If you get saved you need to follow what the scripture says. Not my opinion, but actually what the scripture states in many places.

Nothing! Great point.

However, I hope you would not advise the woman, in this case, to leave the man and thereby break up the family. This, in my opinion, would cause more damage than what they already have done by not getting married.

I, well not me actually, but the Bible would advise against them having sex unless they are married. They just need to do the right thing and get married if not then its not biblical to continue having sex....Just saying...

Being legally married through the state and saying your vows before God are two entirely different things. I highly doubt a piece of paper with a state seal on it is going to change this couple spiritually.

By telling them they can no longer have sex until they get that piece of paper will undermine their relationship and thereby potentially hurt the family. Also, it will undermine the credibility of the church in the mind of the unsaved partner. I cannot advocate for that.

Umm...That's the word of God not my opinion on the matter...unless you are married you are committing fornication...I mean seriously...two wrongs don't make a right and I cannot advocate for that. And just how would getting legally married hurt the family.

People can choose to follow the word of God or not...If they don't then it's their choice but here's what scripture has to say about it, once again this is scripture not just my personal opinion on it:

Hebrew's 13:4
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

Yep and here's where the excuses to fornicate roll in....Lot's of people say that they said their vows before God but when it's over it's over no divorce and you'll never hear them say they had ever been married. I'd also highly doubt the one who is not a believer in the relationship said any vow to God. Started out and still is just plain fornication until they get married. Not trying to be harsh but that is just the cold hard facts of the matter...

Not trying to take your reply out of context, but that is a very important statement. I go back to the point I made earlier about how non-believers are living in sin anyway. Their marriages are a sham because they did not commit it to God's sovereignty while taking their vows. This is no reason to shred a family to pieces, though. Any pastor who advises either party to leave needs to be fired immediately.

When Abraham was getting ready to take a knife to his son Isaac, God stepped in to stop him. I don't see anywhere in the bible to indicate God's desire for us to sacrifice our children just because we decide to disobey Him. If you go back and read the Gospels, that sin is already paid for. Our children don't have to suffer for our mistakes.

The new Christian is instructed to be warmer and more loving so that the unbeliever sees the Love of Christ and wishes to become a Christian also.

Yes, when you become saved you have to do it God's way and God said in order to live with someone and have sex you have to be married. So that is something that you have to do. Now God will help anyone who puts it in his hands and does it his way.

Just like you said, God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, but when he showed that he was willing to do it God's way then he let an animal appear and told Isaac to sacrifice that animal instead of Isaac. Abraham was willing to do it God's way and God provided. The same could go for marriage. If someone purposes in their heart to do it God's way then he will provide, but they have to be willing to listen to God and do what he says. Going against the word of God is not going to help anyone and God will not provide in such a situation.

And as far as the children go, why do you think they are going to suffer if their parents become legally married. I really don't understand how this is going to harm a child by doing what is right in God's sight...I mean just take the example that you gave here...Do you think Abraham would have been blessed if he said heck no God, I ain't doing it, I ain't going to sacrifice my child.....No,
Abraham trusted God and done what he said because he knew his God and knew that God would provide. Christians have to follow God's word and have faith in him. He knows what's best, and we have to trust him and believe in his word and do what he says.

Marriages entered by unbelievers are not a sham. Paul’s caveat was dependent on the unbeliever desiring to depart.

Few Christians end marriages over differences in faith. There’s usually other problems present. I’ve known several women in similar situations who were happily married. Their husbands supported their work and ministry with no complaints.

That’s the difference. If the marriage is shaky or he’s hostile about her religion that’s a different animal.