How do I let go of sin?

I feel stuck shutting God out. And ignoring Him. I talk to Him last second only when it’s convenient and I constantly try to distract myself.
I usually talk to God in the shower and before I sleep, but only because it’s convenient for me and I’m so two faced.

It feels difficult going to God and staying, because apart of me is so scared of letting go of sin and the old way of life it’s willing to try to forget everything and believe lies.

God helped me know more about him sophomore year (two years ago I think?) and I wanted to dedicate my life to Him, but when summer came I got reminded of old sins and I kept getting into the habit of saying later, but I haven’t been spending enough time with God since then and I’ve just constantly been so disappointed with myself.

I give parts of myself to God, but not enough, so many days not dedicated to him as much as it should be feel like a waste. So many days stuck in sin, I am too anxious to sleep until I give up and talk to God, but that’s too late.

Also, sometimes I feel like I mindlessly walk to sin. I know God gives a way out, but is just a habit or am I just so broken? It’s terrible that I spend a night asking God for help and then I wake up forgetting everything mindlessly going to sin again and starting it all over. God gives me chances to choose him, but I don’t take them enough.

(Sorry if I repeat myself, or things are poorly written. I’ve been confused and foolish, and I want to make sure I could share all the info I could so it could be more clear for people to reply)

What should I do to let go of sin, and go to God more?

(Before God, I was a coward, who wanted to kill my self to avoid pain in life. I’m not really suicidal anymore, but I just feel stuck being a coward who wants to forget and waste away. I’m broken)

I feel stuck shutting God out. And ignoring Him. I talk to Him last second only when it’s convenient and I constantly try to distract myself.
I usually talk to God in the shower and before I sleep, but only because it’s convenient for me and I’m so two faced.

It feels difficult going to God and staying, because apart of me is so scared of letting go of sin and the old way of life it’s willing to try to forget everything and believe lies.

God helped me know more about him sophomore year (two years ago I think?) and I wanted to dedicate my life to Him, but when summer came I got reminded of old sins and I kept getting into the habit of saying later, but I haven’t been spending enough time with God since then and I’ve just constantly been so disappointed with myself.

I give parts of myself to God, but not enough, so many days not dedicated to him as much as it should be feel like a waste. So many days stuck in sin, I am too anxious to sleep until I give up and talk to God, but that’s too late.

Also, sometimes I feel like I mindlessly walk to sin. I know God gives a way out, but is just a habit or am I just so broken? It’s terrible that I spend a night asking God for help and then I wake up forgetting everything mindlessly going to sin again and starting it all over. God gives me chances to choose him, but I don’t take them enough.

(Sorry if I repeat myself, or things are poorly written. I’ve been confused and foolish, and I want to make sure I could share all the info I could so it could be more clear for people to reply)

What should I do to let go of sin, and go to God more?

(Before God, I was a coward, who wanted to kill my self to avoid pain in life. I’m not really suicidal anymore, but I just feel stuck being a coward who wants to forget and waste away. I’m broken)

Well as Christian one of the verses I hold to my heart deeply more than any other is Philippines 1:6 “being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;”. Having faith in God’s promise that no matter my level of sin and deprivation he will always continue to work in me and save me from myself. Only a year ago or just over I had suffered from a period of depression lasting two years. This was suicidal depression which I suffered from everyday. No matter what I tried it didn’t work till one day I prayed and two days later my depression left. Ive never felt depressed again, I would even go to as far as saying I haven’t been sad to be honest. And during that phase of depression i tried ungodly things to try help and fill the void. But now a bit more than a year on I’m free and looking forward to the prospect of evangelism and church work. And I feel God’s voice in my life. So ultimately what I’m trying to say is try and have faith that God will help you because sin doesn’t kill a Christian it’s when we lose the desire to follow and love God that kills us. And from your comment I can tell you desire God so he will work in your life.

There are verses to warn us that if we love sin enough, He will hand is over to it...there are a lot of warnings in the Bible that are there for our good. I don't think you can say that sin doesn't kill a Christian. God is extremely faithful and merciful yes, but also we 'work out our salvation with fear and trembling'... sin is not a light matter. If we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and the Blood of Christ cleanses us from all unrighteousness. If I regard iniquity in my heart the Lord will not hear. Depression is not necessarily sin. Sin hinders our walk and relationship with God and leads us down a wrong path that ultimately we will regret.

Bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Addictions are hard to quit without taking a radical step to change. For example; If you are a heroin addict you should consider calling Adult Teen Challenge near you and go live there for a year and focus on getting completely devoted to Jesus Christ while being in an environment of accountability where you are not trying to do it on your own.

If you are talking about sexual addictions you should check out purelifeministries.org they have a really good reputation for helping people get free. Both these ministries are 100% Faith based and they focus on relationship with Jesus and the sanctifying power of the Holy Spirit, the new creation in Christ that He makes you and the renewing of the mind with the Word of God. They are free of charge for those who can't afford it. They do not take insurance and are supported by donations from those who believe in their ministry. Teen Challenge has been around since 1958 and has a 76% to 85% success rate depending on the external studies that have been done. Success meaning those who graduate the program are clean 10 years later. There are 6 month to 1 year programs depending on the center near you.
If you are not dealing with addictions like drugs and alcohol you may need to just get involved in a church near you that is known for being on fire for God and talk to the pastor and get some accountability that way.

You need to do something different than what you have been doing. The first step in the right direction is always the hardest. Asking questions here is good but you probably already know all the answers that people are going to give you and you are not doing what they tell you. Get accountable and do it tomorrow. Make that call. Start getting in front of people who will walk out this christian life with you. Take it serious. You do not want to wake up in hell with eternal regret. The Holy Spirit is calling you and you are never going to be happy until you yield 100% of your life and will to Christ and his plan for your life.

The reason you struggle is that you think you love the pleasure of sin, but when you are willing to suffer withdrawal from that sin you will get on the other side and the Joy and pleasure of holiness and freedom in Christ FAR OUTSHINES any pleasure of sin you ever had and when you are basking in the Glory of Christ you will say to yourself "I can't believe that I waited so long to sell out to Christ, I did not know what I was missing"
The change comes alot faster than you think it will take. In just a few weeks you will be saying "I can't believe I used to have that problem" you will be FREE INDEED!

I feel stuck shutting God out. And ignoring Him. I talk to Him last second only when it’s convenient and I constantly try to distract myself.
I usually talk to God in the shower and before I sleep, but only because it’s convenient for me and I’m so two faced.

It feels difficult going to God and staying, because apart of me is so scared of letting go of sin and the old way of life it’s willing to try to forget everything and believe lies.

God helped me know more about him sophomore year (two years ago I think?) and I wanted to dedicate my life to Him, but when summer came I got reminded of old sins and I kept getting into the habit of saying later, but I haven’t been spending enough time with God since then and I’ve just constantly been so disappointed with myself.

I give parts of myself to God, but not enough, so many days not dedicated to him as much as it should be feel like a waste. So many days stuck in sin, I am too anxious to sleep until I give up and talk to God, but that’s too late.

Also, sometimes I feel like I mindlessly walk to sin. I know God gives a way out, but is just a habit or am I just so broken? It’s terrible that I spend a night asking God for help and then I wake up forgetting everything mindlessly going to sin again and starting it all over. God gives me chances to choose him, but I don’t take them enough.

(Sorry if I repeat myself, or things are poorly written. I’ve been confused and foolish, and I want to make sure I could share all the info I could so it could be more clear for people to reply)

What should I do to let go of sin, and go to God more?

(Before God, I was a coward, who wanted to kill my self to avoid pain in life. I’m not really suicidal anymore, but I just feel stuck being a coward who wants to forget and waste away. I’m broken)

Well said Fred.
From confessing the sin of our hears in its motives
to capturing our thoughts and bring them to God and Gods word to see what He is thinking about what we are thinking.

One is addressing the source.
The other addresses the habits of thought patterns that our wrong heart has established in us.

Sin runs deep, the corruption complete but if you want to be free and clean, forgiven and cleansed.
Its confess your heart and take your thought captive and renew you mind with the word of God.
Walk before God with your whole heart, don't trust in yourself and what you usually think and in all of it acknowledged Him, bring it to him first to see what God thinks.