Forgiveness

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M

MOC

Member
#1
Mar 20, 2020
84
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18
#1
Forgiving someone who has done you wrong or harmed you in anyway, is often times very difficult. To forgive someone when they have wronged us, doesn't mean we have to befriend them or feel obligated to be a part of their lives, so long as we let go of all the unrighteous feelings we may have against them in our hearts and minds. When we do this, then we have done what Jesus commanded. When we truly forgive, we are letting any bitterness and resentment leave our hearts. In some cases, its very difficult to let go of these feelings. Remembering what our Lord and Savior done for us, and yet He still forgave, may help us with any unrighteousness that may be dwelling in our hearts. Make no mistake though, we need God's power through prayer to release any resentment that may linger against those who have done us wrong. Also, forgiving others is essential in helping us grow in Christ.

Ephesians 4:32 "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." God sacrificed His own son to pay the debt of our sin. This should be reason enough for us to be willing to forgive others.

****"Forgiveness" comes from the Greek word, Aphiemi. It means, "to let go, to give up, to keep no longer." When a Christian truly forgives, they are letting go of any unrighteousness.

Luke 17:1-4 "It is impossible but that offenses will come........If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if the repent, forgive him." We have to remember that offenses will always come our way. Jesus commands to forgive. In verse 4, we must forgive no matter how many times a person offends us, when they are asking for forgiveness.

Luke 17:5-10 When the disciples heard Jesus' teachings on forgiveness, they felt it was impossible to do unless their faith were increased. Jesus reminds them that a little faith(grain of a mustard seed), is all they need.

It is for certain that people will sin against us during our walk with Jesus. We must focus on God's word seeking wisdom on how to approach forgiveness toward others. Ask God to take away the negative feelings we may still have in our hearts and mind. Forgiving others, Christians can expect receiving justification, redemption, and atonement from our Lord, which will not only help us move on, but also become better Christian men and women.
 
Deuteronomy

Deuteronomy

Well-known member
#2
Jun 11, 2018
3,334
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#2
MOC said:
Forgiving someone who has done you wrong or harmed you in anyway, is often times very difficult. To forgive someone when they have wronged us, doesn't mean we have to befriend them or feel obligated to be a part of their lives, so long as we let go of all the unrighteous feelings we may have against them in our hearts and minds. When we do this, then we have done what Jesus commanded. When we truly forgive, we are letting any bitterness and resentment leave our hearts. In some cases, its very difficult to let go of these feelings. Remembering what our Lord and Savior done for us, and yet He still forgave, may help us with any unrighteousness that may be dwelling in our hearts. Make no mistake though, we need God's power through prayer to release any resentment that may linger against those who have done us wrong. Also, forgiving others is essential in helping us grow in Christ.

Ephesians 4:32 "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." God sacrificed His own son to pay the debt of our sin. This should be reason enough for us to be willing to forgive others.

****"Forgiveness" comes from the Greek word, Aphiemi. It means, "to let go, to give up, to keep no longer." When a Christian truly forgives, they are letting go of any unrighteousness.

Luke 17:1-4 "It is impossible but that offenses will come........If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if the repent, forgive him." We have to remember that offenses will always come our way. Jesus commands to forgive. In verse 4, we must forgive no matter how many times a person offends us, when they are asking for forgiveness.

Luke 17:5-10 When the disciples heard Jesus' teachings on forgiveness, they felt it was impossible to do unless their faith were increased. Jesus reminds them that a little faith(grain of a mustard seed), is all they need.

It is for certain that people will sin against us during our walk with Jesus. We must focus on God's word seeking wisdom on how to approach forgiveness toward others. Ask God to take away the negative feelings we may still have in our hearts and mind. Forgiving others, Christians can expect receiving justification, redemption, and atonement from our Lord, which will not only help us move on, but also become better Christian men and women.
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Hello MOC, you seem to be saying that the Lord's purpose in us forgiving one another is to 'feel better about ourselves' (and to just 'feel better', in general), but I think that God has a much higher purpose in mind than that. As such, I will have to take exception to the idea that the Lord has no interest in us befriending (again) those who have wronged us, because I believe that Biblically, His principle reason for forgiveness is, "reconciliation" (and I believe this to be particularly true among those of us who are of the household of the faith).

I agree with you that forgiving someone who has harmed us is difficult to do, but I believe that we greatly compound the difficultly when we choose to follow our feelings and our desires on the matter .. rather than the word of God, which tells us plainly,

Luke 17​
3 If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.​

It seems clear to me that God wants there to be peace between warring parties in the form of true reconciliation, not a situation where nothing gets resolved (as the victim struggles to do their very best to work out the anger, frustration and hatred that they feel toward their perpetrator, in silence and/or by talking behind their perpetrator's back), and "peace" (if we can actually call it that :unsure:) is achieved by shunning, not reconciliation.

It's actually easy to forgive someone who stands before you contrite and seeking your forgiveness, but when we are the ones who have been harmed by another, we often refuse to do what the Lord commanded us to do to get the process of forgiveness and reconciliation started by "rebuking" the offending party (so that they know that they've sinned against us/know how we feel, and so that they know 'how' they've sinned against us too).

In the end, I believe the real reason that we do not want to be reconciled with those who have hurt us (~like God wants us to be~) is because we want to hurt them back (by using the passive/aggressive tactic of shunning), all the while trying to justify the belief that we are doing our God-mandated duty of forgiving them (even though we are not :oops:).

God bless you!

~Deut
p.s. - I should add .. to my shame .. that I am no better off than anyone else is in regard to this, worse, in fact, because I'm still guilty of acting in this manner towards others today (I'm still a people-pleaser at heart, even though I know better now):( This is the reason that this subject has been on my radar for at least a year now, because I'm hoping to find some practical ways to more regularly obey the Lord's command in this, even in the midst of the most difficult of social situations (so any advice would be truly appreciated (y)).
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K

Kim82

Guest
#3
#3
Deuteronomy said:
we often refuse to do what the Lord commanded us to do to get the process of forgiveness and reconciliation started by "rebuking" the offending party (so that they know that they've sinned against us/know how we feel, and so that they know 'how' they've sinned against us too)
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Does this work with your boss at work? If they are wrong do you rebuke them? What about those who work in customer service? When the customer is wrong, do you rebuke them?
Deuteronomy said:
In the end, I believe the real reason that we do not want to be reconciled with those who have hurt us (~like God wants us to be~) is because we want to hurt them back (by using the passive/aggressive tactic of shunning), all the while trying to justify the belief that we are doing our God-mandated duty of forgiving them (even though we are not :oops:).
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Did God say one should reconcile with a spouse who refuses to stop cheating? How about abusive parents? Should the judge rebuke them and send their children back to live with them?
 
Deuteronomy

Deuteronomy

Well-known member
#4
Jun 11, 2018
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#4
Kim82 said:
Does this work with your boss at work? If they are wrong do you rebuke them? What about those who work in customer service? When the customer is wrong, do you rebuke them?
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Hello Kim, I suppose it depends on the situation in this case. If their being wrong has to do with business somehow, I don't rebuke them, but I do question them and try to get to the bottom of the problem/or come to some sort of understanding so that we can move on and get the job done.

If it involves a personal (ad hominem) attack against me, then yes, I would admonish/rebuke them, telling them (or reminding them) that it is, in fact, company policy that we never have to accept/put up with abusive behavior from a customer or from management.

That said, if they ask to be forgiven, that is exactly what I would do, which would, hopefully, lead to our relationship being healed and put back on track again (y)(y)

Kim82 said:
Did God say one should reconcile with a spouse who refuses to stop cheating? How about abusive parents? Should the judge rebuke them and send their children back to live with them?
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We are to be reconciled with an abusive spouse or an abusive parent who has ~STOPPED~ being abusive, not one who is continuing to be.

As the Lord told us,

Luke 17​
3 If your brother sins, rebuke him; and ~IF~ he repents, forgive him.​

If an abusive spouse or parent does not repent and seek your forgiveness after you've rebuked them, then no, we are not/cannot be reconciled with them (until they do). Reconciliation is a two-way street.

God bless you!

~Deut
 
Deuteronomy

Deuteronomy

Well-known member
#5
Jun 11, 2018
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#5
Hello again @Kim82, the business of dealing with broken, personal relationships is particularly difficult (as most of us are all too aware), because there are so many factors, including emotional and financial considerations, as well things like physical safety considerations, that must be taken into account. So it's very difficult to lay down hard and fast rules, because the situations and the people involved make many situations of this sort unique.

So, it seems to me that for Christians with a marriage gone bad (for instance), while a full reconciliation of the marriage may work for certain couples in certain situations, there are other situations where there is simply too much emotional pain involved (because of the adulterous and/or physically abusive spouse's behavior) for the couple to ever be fully reconciled again as husband and wife.

That said, if the adulterous/abusive spouse has truly repented, is truly contrite, and has sought the forgiveness of the abused spouse, then the abused Christian spouse is commanded to forgive their former abuser (as you saw in v3 above) and to seek to be reconciled as their brother or sister in Christ if they cannot or will not seek marital reconciliation.

This is the "ideal" that we are to shoot for, but I realize that the ideal is not always possible to achieve, especially when the emotional hurt is both new and deep.

~Deut
 
Blik

Blik

Senior Member
#6
Dec 6, 2016
7,312
2,428
113
#6
Kim82 said:
Does this work with your boss at work? If they are wrong do you rebuke them? What about those who work in customer service? When the customer is wrong, do you rebuke them?

Did God say one should reconcile with a spouse who refuses to stop cheating? How about abusive parents? Should the judge rebuke them and send their children back to live with them?
Click to expand...
If you allow people to choose their own way and let God do the judging of the way they choose, forgiving them, it does not mean that you don't love yourself and others to protect from harm.

God gives us the fruits of the spirit, and we can't live with those fruits within us and at the same time carry resentment and anger at the way others choose to treat us.
 
R

Runningman

Banned
#7
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
113
#7
MOC said:
Forgiving someone who has done you wrong or harmed you in anyway, is often times very difficult. To forgive someone when they have wronged us, doesn't mean we have to befriend them or feel obligated to be a part of their lives, so long as we let go of all the unrighteous feelings we may have against them in our hearts and minds. When we do this, then we have done what Jesus commanded. When we truly forgive, we are letting any bitterness and resentment leave our hearts. In some cases, its very difficult to let go of these feelings. Remembering what our Lord and Savior done for us, and yet He still forgave, may help us with any unrighteousness that may be dwelling in our hearts. Make no mistake though, we need God's power through prayer to release any resentment that may linger against those who have done us wrong. Also, forgiving others is essential in helping us grow in Christ.

Ephesians 4:32 "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." God sacrificed His own son to pay the debt of our sin. This should be reason enough for us to be willing to forgive others.

****"Forgiveness" comes from the Greek word, Aphiemi. It means, "to let go, to give up, to keep no longer." When a Christian truly forgives, they are letting go of any unrighteousness.

Luke 17:1-4 "It is impossible but that offenses will come........If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if the repent, forgive him." We have to remember that offenses will always come our way. Jesus commands to forgive. In verse 4, we must forgive no matter how many times a person offends us, when they are asking for forgiveness.

Luke 17:5-10 When the disciples heard Jesus' teachings on forgiveness, they felt it was impossible to do unless their faith were increased. Jesus reminds them that a little faith(grain of a mustard seed), is all they need.

It is for certain that people will sin against us during our walk with Jesus. We must focus on God's word seeking wisdom on how to approach forgiveness toward others. Ask God to take away the negative feelings we may still have in our hearts and mind. Forgiving others, Christians can expect receiving justification, redemption, and atonement from our Lord, which will not only help us move on, but also become better Christian men and women.
Click to expand...
I think if we could only see people as God does, knowing all of the pain and abuse someone has already received, maybe we would be kinder.

In the moment it is easy to think if we are just a little rude to someone that barely any harm was done and life goes on. But to that individual it could have been the 5th or 6th time that day someone "kicked the dog", so to speak.

Extend this sort of treatment out over a long period of time and what seems like a minor altercation is actually part of a pattern of a lifetime of verbal abuse. Suddenly the world looks a lot darker and forgiving someone for even a small thing becomes an insurmountable task. It happens.

Remember, be kind to one another and love one another.
 
T

Truth7t7

Well-known member
#8
May 19, 2020
7,685
2,495
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#8
Runningman said:
I think if we could only see people as God does, knowing all of the pain and abuse someone has already received, maybe we would be kinder.

In the moment it is easy to think if we are just a little rude to someone that barely any harm was done and life goes on. But to that individual it could have been the 5th or 6th time that day someone "kicked the dog", so to speak.

Extend this sort of treatment out over a long period of time and what seems like a minor altercation is actually part of a pattern of a lifetime of verbal abuse. Suddenly the world looks a lot darker and forgiving someone for even a small thing becomes an insurmountable task. It happens.

Remember, be kind to one another and love one another.
Click to expand...
Paul didn't have love for Alexander? (y)

2 Timothy 4:14-15KJV
14 Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works:
15 Of whom be thou ware also; for he hath greatly withstood our words.
 
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