Potential health issue

So it turns out my liver was not the issue, but instead my kidneys. They have detected a tumor in it. Whether it is benign or malignant I do not know yet. As usual my brain offers no comfort as part of me hopes it takes me out and the other part is fearing if it does I'll probably go to hell. 🤦‍♂️ Now with this issue my parents and family will probably want me to get the covid shot (which I am also frightened of thanks to the lovely media and people associating it with the mark) so my brain is going a million miles a second rn. So prayers.

Praying for your health situation.
But to be honest, it sounds like your Spiritual health is in much more need.

Why would you think you would go to hell?

I dont always think that way, but sometimes I get into a "Woe is me " mood and I'm very pessimistic. It happens at least once a day and used to be worse, but it got better till recently. That being said the God came through for me today, so I'm quite happy. It is cancerous but they caught it early. Worse case scenario I lose a kidney. I am very relieved 🙏❤ But yeah my mental health is not the best. I'm Autistic and have terrible Scruples. I've had medical issues that have made them worse, my last heart surgery I had to cut some psych meds and greatly effected my mental health and I've been slowly improving until recently.