Confused on the statement letting go and let God. Help please

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Lovelyjay

New member
Mar 23, 2021
8
5
3
#21
Hi, Lovelyjay.

Thanks for giving us some additional insight.

I would like to suggest to you that alcohol isn't your husband's real problem. Instead, it seems to be something that he turns to because something else is truly bothering him.

In other words, I'm suggesting to you that his drinking is more of a branch, figuratively speaking, and that there is a root problem that his drinking is stemming from.

To your knowledge, is there anything that is troubling your husband that works sort of like a trigger to push him to drink?

Before I became a Christian, I did drugs every day for 11 years straight, and I also drank like a fish.

In my particular case, neither drugs nor alcohol were my real problems. Instead, I turned to the same to try to gain some sort of relief from the real issues which were plaguing me. Once those issues were dealt with, the drugs and alcohol had no appeal to me whatsoever.
How did you stop? Did you seek counseling? Or did it on your own?

Yes, he has many issues from his past that he continues to hold on to. We've been to counseling in the past (about 4 years ago) and the counselor stated he needed to continue to come. However, he would not go without me and the counselor wanted him to do individual sessions. He recently stated that he would go with me again but he stated that he would not let me or any counselor tell him that he's an alcoholic bc he isn't and know plenty of People that drinks more than him.
 

Lovelyjay

New member
Mar 23, 2021
8
5
3
#22
Thanks everyone for the advice and words of encouragement! First thing I am going to do is ask husband to start praying with me.
 
L

Live4Him

Guest
#23
How did you stop? Did you seek counseling? Or did it on your own?

Yes, he has many issues from his past that he continues to hold on to. We've been to counseling in the past (about 4 years ago) and the counselor stated he needed to continue to come. However, he would not go without me and the counselor wanted him to do individual sessions. He recently stated that he would go with me again but he stated that he would not let me or any counselor tell him that he's an alcoholic bc he isn't and know plenty of People that drinks more than him.
In my particular case (it could be very different for others), I stopped using drugs and drinking alcohol the moment I got saved. The reason why it was so easy for me to do so (aside from the grace of God, of course) is because I used drugs and drank alcohol to deaden the unanswered question which was CONSTANTLY in my mind before I got saved.

Namely, "What's going to happen to me when I die?"

I was PETRIFIED of death to the point where I didn't even want to go to sleep at night because I thought that I might die in my sleep. When I got saved and my fear of death was conquered, then I had no more need for either drugs or alcohol to deaden anything. That's just my testimony. Again, with others, things might be very different.

I could tell you a LONGGGGGGG story about my own attempts at being "counseled" for a totally different reason, but since it's not related to my past problem with alcohol, I won't mention it at this time.

I will say this, though:

Human counselors profited me absolutely nothing (it could be VERY DIFFERENT for others).

Instead, I wasn't set free from my other issues until the time came that I made Jesus Christ my counselor:

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counseller, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6)

Based upon what you've told me about your own situation with your husband, I would simply suggest this:

The two of you should openly pray about your husband's issues that you mentioned before God through Christ.

There's simply no better Counselor than Jesus Christ...and he doesn't charge!

He knows exactly what the root of your husband's issues are, AND he knows how to effectively cure the same.

As one of Christ's patients myself, I highly recommend him.
 

Lovelyjay

New member
Mar 23, 2021
8
5
3
#24
In my particular case (it could be very different for others), I stopped using drugs and drinking alcohol the moment I got saved. The reason why it was so easy for me to do so (aside from the grace of God, of course) is because I used drugs and drank alcohol to deaden the unanswered question which was CONSTANTLY in my mind before I got saved.

Namely, "What's going to happen to me when I die?"

I was PETRIFIED of death to the point where I didn't even want to go to sleep at night because I thought that I might die in my sleep. When I got saved and my fear of death was conquered, then I had no more need for either drugs or alcohol to deaden anything. That's just my testimony. Again, with others, things might be very different.

I could tell you a LONGGGGGGG story about my own attempts at being "counseled" for a totally different reason, but since it's not related to my past problem with alcohol, I won't mention it at this time.

I will say this, though:

Human counselors profited me absolutely nothing (it could be VERY DIFFERENT for others).

Instead, I wasn't set free from my other issues until the time came that I made Jesus Christ my counselor:

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counseller, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6)

Based upon what you've told me about your own situation with your husband, I would simply suggest this:

The two of you should openly pray about your husband's issues that you mentioned before God through Christ.

There's simply no better Counselor than Jesus Christ...and he doesn't charge!

He knows exactly what the root of your husband's issues are, AND he knows how to effectively cure the same.

As one of Christ's patients myself, I highly recommend him.
Thank You, Thank you!
 
Mar 9, 2021
61
23
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#25
My husband has struggled with alcohol. And some horrible situations has happened due to him being drunk. Once he is sober I explain to him what happened the night before and he'll tell me he won't drink that much again or he is done. He will stop for a while but slowly goes back to the bad habit. Well a couple months ago it was really bad. He could have lost his life and it really scared him. He said he's done with the drinking. But a few weeks later he was drinking wine. He says that wine isn't as bad as hard liquor that he typically drinks but it's all the same to me. No, he didn't get drunk but I'm afraid it'll slowly progress into something bigger. Since he has a couple days where he had too much wine. He doesn't drink everyday (but multiple times a week) but when he does it's too much. And when he does it's like someone else is in control of his body. It's not him. It's just not the man that I married and honestly I'm scared. He says I don't believe that he is a better a him and he'll never go back to that person. But, everytime I see him with a glass I get scared of what could happen. He has actually thrown it in my face that I'm a Christian but yet continue to be negative. But I'm not trying to be but at this point I don't know how to believe him when it always end back with him drinking. And sometimes I don't know if it is God telling me that he isn't going to change and I should leave or if it's him telling me that I'm just not trusting him. I'm sorry this is alot and kind of all over the place. So, do I just pray one simple prayer for him and let go? Do I continue to pray about this situation daily? Or do I simply just pray for myself to let go of the situation? Bc when I say years it has been 5+years of praying for the drinking to stop.
It's about realizing there is an underlining issue that's motivating him to drink alchohal. If you abstain from making him feel judged, he'll feel bad about his choices over-time but rather than focusing on trying to change him, the most effective results come from changing yourself and how you approach situations.

From a third person perspective, if you can imagine your husband drinking, and a part of him feeling rejected by you, while being unable to stop because of the core issue, the attention given to the symptom, rather than the problem only exasserbate's the problem.

I Think if you Show Him Love, and he open's up about his problem, over-time you could see the Result you wanted and ask Jesus to Help assist Him with opening up to you.

Prayer in this Situation is also required as whatever the core issue is, satan is exasserbating and alchohal is a way to ignore the core issue.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#26
let go and let God is AA speak

for the alcoholic to let go (of their problems) and let God (deal with those problems)

for someone to do that they need to start praying...eg talking to God about their problems so He can solve them or change them.

AA does have the serenity prayer which Im sure you may have come across.

so instead of the drinker thinking the best way of dealing with their problems or sorrows is by drowning them....what a sober person would do is NOT head to the nearest bar or drinks cabinet to relax and forget about them. He or she would just get down on their hands and knees and talk to God about them. Its pretty simple, and its free!

plus the release and healing you get from talking to God, the good feelings and comfort and the peaceful sleep you have afterward lasts if you keep on with it, plus there is NO hangover the next day. God can forgive and He doesnt hold grudges against anyone who comes to Him with a broken and contrite heart. Also Hes not gonna laugh at you for crying or being weak.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,160
1,787
113
#27
Confused on the statement letting go and let God. So, I've been praying for a certain situation to change in my marriage for years. I've been depressed and constantly thinking negative bc nothing has changed. So, when we're told to let go and let God. Does that mean we should stop praying about the situation? Or do we continue to pray but ask God to help us not to worry about the situation? I'm really confused. I'm lost. I'm to the point where I'm just discouraged. I'm not sure if I'm praying correctly. Maybe I'm too inconsistent or maybe it's bc I continue to worry and stress about the situation daily and truly not letting go
First of all, 'let go and let God' in my mind goes in the category of 'stuff people say' or 'stuff preachers say'. It's not something the Bible teaches.

The Bible does teach us not to worry. Jesus asked which of you, by taking though, can add one cubit to his stature. That's KJV English, but the idea is worrying doesn't do any good. But God answers our prayers.