Vent Space

Hello, Im a 14 year old believer, who really needs help as, I'm sure others do. One thing I get reminded of is community (specifically the Christian community) can be there for encouragement, love, and guidance. Believers go through a hard time in this world, and it gets heartbreaking at times, and I'm in that space right now. So I invite you, if you'd like, to a space where we can openly talk about our struggles, sins, and other issues we are dealing with, have dealt with ( a testimony of some sort maybe), or fear dealing with; so others can give advice, offer prayers, or relate and converse on. I myself will be on this thread, as there a particular sin or issue i have been dealing with and am curious to other's situations and response.Peace and love to you all (hope it isn't bad to post a thread like this).

I have been in lots of physical back pain, also trying to navigate the rapids of taking in two teenage boys, one is 15 while the other 13, each has past trauma, I sometimes deal with anxiety or depression, but for the most part, I find balance in Christ.

This is good for all people to just let others know we are not alone.

Well, to be quite honest here, I've been a terrible daughter, I admit that. My struggle is obedience, and it always has been, even from the beginning I would say. I have backslidden, a lot, but the first time around I was happy about it, ( I know how bad that sounds, trust me , i learned), this time around I'm just feel so sad, exhausted, and defeated. I didn't want to end up back here, in fact I was trying to stay away. Im in Day 1 I guess you can say of me realizing Im backslidden again. I just feel so disappointed and ruined, I just have such a hard time doing what God asks me because it always looks different in the bigger plans I had in my head, which it's God's will not mine I know, but that's my main problem. I want to surrender honestly because I know he's good, but I'm already in this backslidden state, and you can't relax here, it's a dangerous place to be in and in hot waters. It was hard to get back the first time around, so imagine this time, i feel kind of hopeless. But that's why I made this thread, basically, so we can just let it all out and hopefully find encouragement, prayer, and help.

You are also not alone in this struggle. Of course, I was worse as a teenager as to why I have always felt like a rough soul.

Do you understand the difference between righteousness, justification, sanctification and how this relates to faith?

You will never be hopeless in Christ and if you understand the differences above, you will find freedom in Christ from sin/guilt. It will empower you to walk with Christ with less time of wandering into the weeds.

Old me would have been filled with doubt about this, but if there's one thing I've learned in those whole walk, Christ never leaves me, which is why even in this horrible, draining, and desperate position, I have hope.

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We are made just by Jesus's sacrifice. So we are seen as righteous in the eyes of God who no longer can see our sin. It is blotted out, we are made white as snow. The Holy Spirit begins the action of sanctification which is God leading us to become more like Christ. Obviously our sin nature will not be completely gone but the difference is, our salvation is sealed and yet we may grieve the Spirit sometimes, this affects our relationship with God as we allow the lies of Satan to try and persuade us that we are not forgiven.

The simple thing to do is repent and return to God. Jesus has paid for your sins, past, present, future. And God has promised to forgive.

Obviously a true believer will feel as if they have disappointed their Father or misaligned their relationship with a friend.

You are being pulled back by the Spirit and each time it is with loving arms. Eventually you will mature and get better at abiding and obeying the Words of God.

Ok, Im going to use this, lol. There is always this one certain temptation that I can't even explain to somebody how it gets me, but when I tell you this certain temptation is a weakness, ooooooooooohhhh. I want it so badly and it's literally so bad, it so so bad, but I still want it. I know everything against it, but I still want it at the end of the day. It's a literal addiction and sometimes it really hurts to know I can't get it because it goes against my faith, my relationship with God, and literally everything, but I'm just venting here, because I need to get it out. It's so scary, because sometimes I want to leave the faith to go after it, that's literally how bad I want it, and I want it to go away because it hinders everything, literally everything. I can't even fathom how much this one temptation has a stronghold on me. It's also a mental and emotional trap, and sometimes, it makes me mad that the enemy is trying to fool me with it.

I once had temptations like that as a teenager but I suppose maturity and age has shown me I really have not missed anything especially after I see others who get swept up in that temptation have very awful results. Seeing the results can often help us see that God's way is always right.

Of course, it would be beneficial if you find a trusted Christian who you can admit the temptation and be guided in resisting it. Admitting it out loud is one step to breaking the chains.

I know, that's the thing, I haven't found anyone who has gone this particular temptation as me, (i guess it's unique), and I have no one to relate to. It's not as bad anymore, but it's not necessarily gone either, I feel like no one understands :/. I hope it goes away as I grow older, or it just goes away for good.

Well they do not necessarily have to struggle with the same temptation in order to help you in accountability. It should be in a non judgemental way but also in a wise and Biblical manner to resist it. All Christians understand temptation regardless the subject of temptation. Nothing is new under the sun.

Yeah, you're right, I find people's testimonies on losing faith and trying to get it back and addictions are the one that kind of help me, I think at least.

Ok, Im going to use this, lol. There is always this one certain temptation that I can't even explain to somebody how it gets me, but when I tell you this certain temptation is a weakness, ooooooooooohhhh. I want it so badly and it's literally so bad, it so so bad, but I still want it. I know everything against it, but I still want it at the end of the day. It's a literal addiction and sometimes it really hurts to know I can't get it because it goes against my faith, my relationship with God, and literally everything, but I'm just venting here, because I need to get it out. It's so scary, because sometimes I want to leave the faith to go after it, that's literally how bad I want it, and I want it to go away because it hinders everything, literally everything. I can't even fathom how much this one temptation has a stronghold on me. It's also a mental and emotional trap, and sometimes, it makes me mad that the enemy is trying to fool me with it.

Howdy hiiiiiiii (plus or minus a few i's...) Well the name is cheerful enough.

Gonna leave us hanging on what exactly the temptation is, eh? Well it's your choice whether to tell or not.

One thing I've found helpful with sin is to understand WHY it is called sin. God didn't just say "avoid these" for kicks. He said to avoid them because they cause harm. If I understand the harm this particular sin causes, it's a lot easier for me to avoid it.

When I was a kid I avoided some things because my mom would pop me on the backside. I didn't understand why she said to avoid them. I avoided them from fear of mom, not because I understood why they were to be avoided. But when I grew up and understood WHY she made me avoid them, I was grateful for the things I had been resentful of as a child.

If you only avoid sin because God said to avoid it, or because "Good little Christians don't do things like that!" eventually it will cause resentment to grow in your heart. But if you understand WHY we should avoid it, it becomes logical to avoid it.

Well the temptation is kind of mix of mostly fantasization and shifting realities. The thing is I understand why to avoid it because I've seen a lot of testimonies about it, so I can only assume based off of the story. I'm just really stubborn when it comes to something I want, and sometimes it involves taking the hard way. I have never done it before and it has been the reason for a lot of backtracks, so I can't imagine actually going through with it. It seems like a very big line to cross (at least for me personally) and would signify something bad happened with my relationship with God. I don't know what would happen if I actually did it and I even asked God to tell me about it and what would happen, but I'm nervous to find out.

The Holy Spirit is pushing you against it, as probably it is against God's word. Just speculating here but giving in to the fantasy can only lead to the act. Every action starts with a series of thoughts and mental choices. Fight it with God's Word just as Jesus did against Satan in the wilderness.