where am I?

I've been told countless times that you cant be on the fence when it comes to Christ, my problem is that I don't even know where the fence is. I don't know which direction I'm going in either. a few months ago I got really "religious" and went to church every Sunday and Wednesday nights. the problem with that is I was trying to do it without God, so know I feel like I've been set back further than I was before. The thing is, is that before I was actually motivated to "get closer to God", but I wasn't being motivated by God. I was being motivated by the way people appreciated me. it was kind of a self riotousness thing that I didn't realize was happening until later on.

So basically i feel stuck and I don't know what to do now. I don't think I've ever had an "experience with Christ" as some say. I don't know if I need to be patient and wait for the time, or if waiting would be a bad thing. I've been confused about this for quite a while now, and I don't know what to do.

For some reason I feel like me going to hell is inevitable. I'm not trying to get all gloom and doom, but heaven just seems like something I will never be able to achieve. I feel like I will never be accepted into the kingdom of heaven (not because of God, but because of myself). I don't know what's going on with me, but I haven't read my bible in a while I quit going to my studies and I've felt guilty going to church( because I feel like a fraud).

I haven't had anyone to really talk to about this, and just typing this has made me feel better.

Thank you for reading
-Josh

Praying for guidance and direction may be a good idea.

The amazing thing about God's love for us is that none of us are worthy of it! Yet He still sent His Son, purposed from before the foundation of the world, and Jesus willingly gave His life, that we could attain to life ever after through faith in His shed righteous blood on our behalf. Don't wait until you feel worthy to start doing things to build up your faith. Each thing by itself may not seem like much, but maybe if you can think of it in terms of the saying: “The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.” Most people do not start out rock solid in their faith. It is a life long process and we can learn much as we progress. Fall down? Get up again! I pray you not allow your discouragement to knock you down and out. I am reminded of another saying: Don't leave five minutes before the miracle happens. I hope you find some people in your church with whom you can honestly share your thoughts and feelings. Building up a support network within your church family is so important, and you may be surprised at how willing people are to listen, reciprocate, and desire to help if and when given the chance.

PS~ I was on the fence for a while too, but that was before surrendering my life to Christ.

The fence is about not just resting in your comfort zone. God wants a relationship with us and be a part of your day to day life. Going to church doesnt make you a Christian. Running to God only when you have a problem doesng make you one either. Its about loving and cherishing God daily. Doesnt mean you pray everyday. You study his word, spread him in your way (not just preaching but also in your actions) and seek him in your daily life. Repentance is a big key. Let him lead you where your weaknesses are. And there are always weaknesses as we are never 100 percent

Spiritual gym. Places of worship.
Non of us a gold medallists

" I don't often reply directly to a thread, but your words drew my attention,
and, I have 'heard' your words. Hear these words...'I Am That I Am...You Are I...I Am You'.
God's spirit, the Holy Spirit, is within you, I, and each one of us all.
Spiritual encouragement and nurturing being necessary, and sadly, many there are that
will confound and confuse you, though they mean well.
We should not be overwhelmed, but calm, steady and focus on a quiet time, just to
think about how we are to conduct our life, according to God's law, and basic principles
of love, goodness, kindness, gentleness, discipline and self control, and these things alone being
a full time endeavor, and perseverance being essential.
I have shared, in-part, my spiritual journey within these pages, and you are welcome to
your own conclusion, but I assure you, I am truly grateful of God being a part of my life,
and I hope, with time, you too shall come close to this love without end."
I pray you are blessed through God's grace."

Brother Josh, there is no fence,there is a gate instead.( John 10:9) hehe You do make a very fine point,people say if we believe then we enter Heaven. Thats funny how would they know since none have even been to the gate to start with??? The truth is. 1. Do you truly know what believing is and more important does??( James 1:22)

2. Can anyone really attain perfect belief?? In truth we will not truly know until we get to the gate and look to Jesus himself to let us in. And so my dear brother questioning ones heart is a grand start to understand Jesus,for indeed there are but two people who truly know for sure about one's self. YOU!! and Jesus!( 1 Sam 16:7)

We walk according to our true beliefs,words matter not! If I were you,and I once was you, many moons ago,I would stay in God's Word daily!! Do your best,and rest in this bro,If you were the only person on earth,Jesus would have done the same accomplishment just for you!!! Greater love hath no man, but to lay down his life for a friend!!( John 15:15)

Those who seek, will find brother!! It took me 22 years,and he found me!! LOL So fear Not,he is with you even you,for he would never have sent me on his behalf to tell you! Rest in his LOVE,and GRACE, and mercy!! Rom 4:8 and Rom 2:1-5!!) VERSE 4! You this day the Lord has heard,and to prove this to you,this scripture comes directly through the Holy Spirit inside of me to you,YOU be the judge!( Isaiah 41:9-13) May the Lord continue to confirm himself to you,blessing Brother.

"Thank you Magenta, for being you!
From 'this side of the glass'...you are loved, and thank you for your inspirational sharing
of your thoughts and interaction of worth.
And, though our life experiences are not for the faint, by God's grace, we have been found,
and for that, I say...Thank God!.........

From what you mentioned I don't know where you are. The fact of the matter is you can be the perfect church goer and still find yourself in hell. Salvation is not about church attendance nor is it about these "experiences". It's about what you know, who you know, who you believe and trust in. Do you truly understand the gospel and what Christ has done? Do you understand how you are justified by His atonement? The "experience" of God is when we realize we are sinners destined for hell because we have broken Gods laws. We have a eternal debt we cannot pay and we need an eternal savior to pay our fine. So we throw ourselves at the feet of Jesus trusting in His work on the cross. You can't work your way into good standings with God by doing the things you know He likes. You must be a new creature (born again) 2 Cor 5:17. If you are truly born again you will desire the things of God. It won't feel like you are working to please him.

sorry but what i meant to say was encounter with Christ not experience. what I mean is I don't feel like I've had a moment where i felt like someone would describe getting saved. that's really hard for me to word, but if you still don't get it I can try again