TBI

In a moments notice everything changes. It will never be the same again. How to remain steadfast.....

I pray and pray but each day his short term memory seems to be fading. No affection, no caring, no real interaction except for a blow up here or there. Counseling just seems to show how bad it really is. When asked how he feels about our 40 year marriage, he doesn't care. Doesn't care about anything. The hurt goes deeper and deeper. No one could ever imagine "in sickness" would me spending every day until death do us part , will be spent with tears in my eyes and alone. This could last for 25 more years in reality....

Ouch. Nobody mentions that possibility when two young people are in love and getting married. But it's something that needs to be considered.

Do you have a best friend to talk to?

No. Been meeting with a couples therapist who was speechless.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I couldn’t begin to imagine what you are going through. Praying for you both.

How often do you write. Have you been able to write more?

I have posted a few times. Hoping there's some amazing spiritual intervention somewhere to stop this downhill train.

How about some background info. My other half served along the DMZ in Vietnam by order of the draft. Once he returned home he never looked back again. Probably the only person that didn't drink, swear, still a virgin, no drugs, and never smoked-squeeky clean. Lived life had children, got married, pretty normal life. Then one day the accumulated dioxin from direct exposure (Agent Orange) in his brain causes a spontaneous subdural hematoma while he was getting ready for work early in the morning. He had a headache on a off for a couple weeks before hand and seemed very cranky, the only symptoms.

CT scan indicated his left temporal region had been crushed by blood and pressure on his brain. He was having seizures and would suddenly be unable to communicate. Only option is subcrainial brain surgery. They must cut open his skull, open the protective membrane, and scoop the blood off that is crushing his brain before it gets any worse. Oh, and he should survive but you just never know because it's the brain. We lost one yesterday doing a very simple procedure.

Long story short he not only made it but came out smiling! Soon we discovered he was still having seizures and the bleeding was still continuing deep inside his brain and because of the medications and seizures he can never go back to work if he recovers. Then we find out about the dioxin causing these bleeds in vets and they don't survive. He wasn't suppose to live apparently. We have only met one other person that has survived all the others died. The VA refuses any responsibility because everyone died there is no one to fight them. All claims denied. We made too much money initially for hubby to be seen at the VA. After we couldn't pay any medical bills then the VA would see him, then they turned us over to claims. Great way to take care of our vets. The nightmare just keeps going... Gson has tumors internally from husband's dioxin exposure and don't know what will happen. Dioxin is inherited illnesses and DNA mutations alike.

Just keeps getting better (NOT!)

It's never a good sign when the marriage counselor stops sessions because he doesn't see any forward progression on one side and the spouse is a depressed Caretaker.