What is Biblical marriage?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

SomeDisciple

Well-known member
Jul 4, 2021
2,274
1,050
113
#41
Before jumping in bed with someone, stop and think, are you ready to be bound to that person for life.
"Soul ties doctrine" is not biblical, and fornication does not create a valid marriage.
It was with Adam and Eve.
No, it was not- Eve was created specifically to be Adam's wife.

"And the man answered, “The woman whom You gave me, she gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

Getting in bed with somebody does not mean "God has joined you together", or that God gave the other person to you.
 

SomeDisciple

Well-known member
Jul 4, 2021
2,274
1,050
113
#42
Also note that Eve is called Adam's wife immediately- Gen 2:25. You don't see "Adam knew Eve" until Ch.4.
 

ewq1938

Well-known member
Oct 18, 2018
5,022
1,268
113
#43
Also note that Eve is called Adam's wife immediately- Gen 2:25. Y
The Hebrew word simply means "woman". She wasn't actually married to Adam until they physically became one.


H802
נָשִׁים אִשָּׁה
'ishshâh nâshı̂ym
ish-shaw', naw-sheem'
The first form is the feminine of H376 or H582; the second form is an irregular plural; a woman (used in the same wide sense as H582).: - [adulter]ess, each, every, female, X many, + none, one, + together, wife, woman. Often unexpressed in English.
Total KJV occurrences: 780


Eve began as Adam's not-yet-married woman and when they came as one, she became his married-woman or as we call a wife rather than the other status which would be a fiance' or bride.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,921
113
#44
I really can't believe that people would think they could go out and have sex with someone and think that somehow makes them married.

That is the very definition of fornication...sex before marriage.

Scripture also tells us to follow the laws of the land. In order to be legally married, you have to get a marriage license and then have it officiated.

If you don't do that and go out and have sex with someone then you are fornicating and that is plain and simple.

And really if you pray about it and feel like it is the person that God wants you to marry then why wouldn't you want to do it legally.
 

ewq1938

Well-known member
Oct 18, 2018
5,022
1,268
113
#45
I really can't believe that people would think they could go out and have sex with someone and think that somehow makes them married.
Shame on Jesus for saying that! Lol

Mat 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Fornicators!


Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Don't listen to this! Go out and get legal paperwork, some rings, rice and a white dress! That's the true biblical way to marry not the way Jesus described. I guess Adam never actually married Eve....no wonder they ended up so messed up!
 

Amanuensis

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2021
1,457
460
83
#46
Some things are not explained in detail because it is written to a people who would already understand certain details of daily life and cluture at the time it was written. Taking a wife included the elaborate ceremonies, written contracts and even financial exchanges in every culture but in the Jewish cultural the various details are alluded to here and there throughout the scripture. Thus when it mentions marrying all those details are assumed. You have some of the examples in Jesus parables. No explanation is given to all of the details of a Jewish wedding is given because it is assumed that the readers of the time already understood how all of these things worked. However if you want to know more you can read the many details that were written in rabbinical writings and other extra biblical resources that have survived and these give us more information.

One thing we know is that marriages in ancient Jewish history were always recorded in writing, there were contracts and there were witnesses and the records were kept in the temple. Matthew and Luke were able use the temple records to support their genealogies. Later in 70 AD these records were lost in the destruction of the temple and the scattering of the Jews.

Using the bible as your source for the "history of marriages" would support that a written contract recorded with the civil leadership was required. Using the Bible as your source for the history of marriage would be using the Jewish traditions that Jesus used for parable sources such as friends waiting for the Groom to come along so they could join in a parade with lighted lamps, wedding feasts that required certain things from the guests, Fathers giving brides to grooms, dowries, contracts, and other things that you can find in historical writings and rabbinical writings.

This information is enough to completely rule out the idea that two people can go mate under a tree in the forest and say a prayer and not be guilty of fornication.

Moving in together and claiming monogamous sex the same as marriage because God knows your heart is a lie. It's fornication.

And all the promises and claims of being married before God will be ignored by God in the day of judgment.

He will say to that person "how came you here without a wedding garment friend" And then cast them out.

They will be speechless because they knew this would happen but decided to chance it anyway thinking that their pitiful excuse "we were married in our hearts" would allow them to slide by. But in that day their false heart of compromise will be manifest even to themselves and they will be speechless and not even try to offer the lame excuse that they knew wasn't going to fly anyway.

And truth be told in that day there will be many other sins and false confessions of faith manifest to them besides the fornication. Those who are willing to compromise with the marriage rules are always full of many other compromises as well. Holiness is not as important to them as it must be to be saved.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,921
113
#47
Shame on Jesus for saying that! Lol

Mat 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Fornicators!


Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Don't listen to this! Go out and get legal paperwork, some rings, rice and a white dress! That's the true biblical way to marry not the way Jesus described. I guess Adam never actually married Eve....no wonder they ended up so messed up!
Wow...SMH...
There's no shame on Jesus...The shame would be on whoever puts words in his mouth or misrepresents his teachings and tries to teach others to do the same.

Jesus didn't say leave your father and mother, go out find someone, have sex with them and that's all you have to do...and then you're married.

That's ridiculous and the very definition of fornication.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,921
113
#48
Some things are not explained in detail because it is written to a people who would already understand certain details of daily life and cluture at the time it was written. Taking a wife included the elaborate ceremonies, written contracts and even financial exchanges in every culture but in the Jewish cultural the various details are alluded to here and there throughout the scripture. Thus when it mentions marrying all those details are assumed. You have some of the examples in Jesus parables. No explanation is given to all of the details of a Jewish wedding is given because it is assumed that the readers of the time already understood how all of these things worked. However if you want to know more you can read the many details that were written in rabbinical writings and other extra biblical resources that have survived and these give us more information.

One thing we know is that marriages in ancient Jewish history were always recorded in writing, there were contracts and there were witnesses and the records were kept in the temple. Matthew and Luke were able use the temple records to support their genealogies. Later in 70 AD these records were lost in the destruction of the temple and the scattering of the Jews.

Using the bible as your source for the "history of marriages" would support that a written contract recorded with the civil leadership was required. Using the Bible as your source for the history of marriage would be using the Jewish traditions that Jesus used for parable sources such as friends waiting for the Groom to come along so they could join in a parade with lighted lamps, wedding feasts that required certain things from the guests, Fathers giving brides to grooms, dowries, contracts, and other things that you can find in historical writings and rabbinical writings.

This information is enough to completely rule out the idea that two people can go mate under a tree in the forest and say a prayer and not be guilty of fornication.

Moving in together and claiming monogamous sex the same as marriage because God knows your heart is a lie. It's fornication.

And all the promises and claims of being married before God will be ignored by God in the day of judgment.

He will say to that person "how came you here without a wedding garment friend" And then cast them out.

They will be speechless because they knew this would happen but decided to chance it anyway thinking that their pitiful excuse "we were married in our hearts" would allow them to slide by. But in that day their false heart of compromise will be manifest even to themselves and they will be speechless and not even try to offer the lame excuse that they knew wasn't going to fly anyway.

And truth be told in that day there will be many other sins and false confessions of faith manifest to them besides the fornication. Those who are willing to compromise with the marriage rules are always full of many other compromises as well. Holiness is not as important to them as it must be to be saved.
Good explanation...Your post is thorough and scripturally sound. (y)
 

Amanuensis

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2021
1,457
460
83
#49
There are far too many couples living together in fornication and calling it "marriage in the eyes of the Lord" in our churches today.

And not just apostate churches, but evangelical Spirit Filled Churches that do not believe that it is ok.

These churches do not agree that such a thing should be done but they don't say anything to these couples.

They leave it to them to figure out and treat them as though they are equal members of the body of Christ. They let them sing on the worship team, and fill other volunteer positions and everyone just says nothing about it.

I think they all just expect them to eventually "see the light" by the Spirit of God and plan a wedding. This sounds good on the surface but it has emboldened others to play the fornicator and now there seems to be a trend or rather a plague.

Multitudes of couples living together and this is a sign of a bigger problem. (I mean if it can get any worse that open fornication I am not sure what it could be,) but the problem is a lack of the hatred of sin and the love for holiness.

Loving Jesus with all one's heart should cause them to shrink back in horror at the hint of sin, and not be willing to stay the night in their girl friends house even sleeping on the couch much less living together. What? Can they not hear the voice of Jesus speaking to the seven churches... "You have some among you that are teaching my children to fornicate by telling them God understands and is patient with new believers" That is not the teaching of Christ that is the teaching of the evil one and he delights in deceiving Gods people into falling into this sin of fornication.

We must preach against it. We must point the new believers to holiness. The joyful life in Jesus is found in holiness not in compromise. We are not helping them by not dealing with this sin as we would heroine addiction. Both heroine addiction and fornication must be given up on the same day. We don't let either linger if we want to find the Freedom that Jesus promises.
 

Amanuensis

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2021
1,457
460
83
#50
I really can't believe that people would think they could go out and have sex with someone and think that somehow makes them married.

That is the very definition of fornication...sex before marriage.

Scripture also tells us to follow the laws of the land. In order to be legally married, you have to get a marriage license and then have it officiated.

If you don't do that and go out and have sex with someone then you are fornicating and that is plain and simple.

And really if you pray about it and feel like it is the person that God wants you to marry then why wouldn't you want to do it legally.
Have you ever met a Christian who lived with a person and said they were married in the eyes of the Lord and did not need a legal paper and then broke up, who then told people they were divorced? Ever?

What does that tell you? They were lying to themselves and they know it. They don't try and keep the lie going after the break up by saying they are divorced. Instead they claim they have never been married if asked.

Also have you noticed that those who marry out of guilt of living together in fornication and trying to convince God that they are married but feel guilty and then decide that they should get married to "make it right" that most of these marriages do not work out?

Why? Because neither is ready for marriage. Both are not strong Christians. If you are looking for a Godly person you don't want to choose the one who is willing to live with you in fornication. So that is the first big red flag that they are not the one for you. But you are not the one for them either. Both need to seek the Lord and live out a mature life of no compromise for a couple of years and then only accept those who are NOT WILLING to live together first as a potential mate.

Also those who do think that getting married will "make it right" are wrong.

Getting married will not remove the sin they were doing. Only the Blood of Jesus can do that. They must confess their sin and call it what it is.

Then they need to understand that they do not HAVE to get married to make it right. Instead, they need to separate and not live together and not have sex. They are under no obligation to get married. If they decide that is what they want to do then fine but guilt or making things right should not be part of the decision process. They don't have to get married to make it right. Getting married would never make it right.

What they did was sin and repentance and stopping it will be what is right. They might discover that once the "we have to do this to make what we were doing not be a sin" is not possible and no longer part of the decision process, then they may discover that they don't really want to get married after all and go their separate ways. Breathing a sigh of relief that they almost did what many of these couples do and lock themselves into a lifetime of misery in an attempt to "make something not a sin" that was still a sin.
 

Duckybill

Well-known member
Aug 16, 2021
1,145
221
63
#51
And really if you pray about it and feel like it is the person that God wants you to marry then why wouldn't you want to do it legally.
Because filthy rich, lying politicians tell widows if they get married "legally" they will lose their pensions and/or SS!
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,921
113
#52
Have you ever met a Christian who lived with a person and said they were married in the eyes of the Lord and did not need a legal paper and then broke up, who then told people they were divorced? Ever?

What does that tell you? They were lying to themselves and they know it. They don't try and keep the lie going after the break up by saying they are divorced. Instead they claim they have never been married if asked.
Amen...I completely agree.

I actually had someone tell me before that he and I could get married in our hearts and God would sanctify and bless that as marriage.

I flatly declined all that...lol

I used the same argument against it as what you have written here.

He had actually lived with another woman before too so I asked him did that mean he was divorced from her. He said no...that was a mistake they were never really married. It wasn't the Lord's will. They had just made a mistake. Didn't realize that until after they had lived together in sin....:rolleyes:

Also have you noticed that those who marry out of guilt of living together in fornication and trying to convince God that they are married but feel guilty and then decide that they should get married to "make it right" that most of these marriages do not work out?

Why? Because neither is ready for marriage. Both are not strong Christians. If you are looking for a Godly person you don't want to choose the one who is willing to live with you in fornication. So that is the first big red flag that they are not the one for you. But you are not the one for them either. Both need to seek the Lord and live out a mature life of no compromise for a couple of years and then only accept those who are NOT WILLING to live together first as a potential mate.

Also those who do think that getting married will "make it right" are wrong.

Getting married will not remove the sin they were doing. Only the Blood of Jesus can do that. They must confess their sin and call it what it is.

Then they need to understand that they do not HAVE to get married to make it right. Instead, they need to separate and not live together and not have sex. They are under no obligation to get married. If they decide that is what they want to do then fine but guilt or making things right should not be part of the decision process. They don't have to get married to make it right. Getting married would never make it right.

What they did was sin and repentance and stopping it will be what is right. They might discover that once the "we have to do this to make what we were doing not be a sin" is not possible and no longer part of the decision process, then they may discover that they don't really want to get married after all and go their separate ways. Breathing a sigh of relief that they almost did what many of these couples do and lock themselves into a lifetime of misery in an attempt to "make something not a sin" that was still a sin.
Yep, 2 wrongs don't make a right. Many times people who marry out of quilt of living together end up in divorce or in a horrible relationship which only leads them further from the Lord.

Like you said all that is needed is repentance and stopping it and praying and seeking the Lord and allowing Him to lead in the right direction and His will be done.
 

Duckybill

Well-known member
Aug 16, 2021
1,145
221
63
#53
So many finger pointers here wanting to cast the first stone!
 

soberxp

Senior Member
May 3, 2018
2,511
482
83
#54
Biblical marriage
It's just the most ordinary marriage.
Just simply from mutual love and together.
No greedy for property, no other abnormal reasons.
 

Duckybill

Well-known member
Aug 16, 2021
1,145
221
63
#55
Some want to attack a few non State licensed marriages that fail. How about some stats on State licensed marriages that fail?
 

John146

Senior Member
Jan 13, 2016
17,131
3,689
113
#56
There sure is a lot of opinions with no scripture of proof. Shouldn't we allow scripture to define marriage?
 

soberxp

Senior Member
May 3, 2018
2,511
482
83
#57
Some want to attack a few non State licensed marriages that fail. How about some stats on State licensed marriages that fail?
emm....for marriages that fail, eatch others forgive eatch others. may still so called Biblical marriage
 

Chester

Senior Member
May 23, 2016
4,314
1,442
113
#58
Two becoming one flesh, man and woman. A ceremony of vows does not make one married in the eyes of God.

If the act of "two becoming one flesh" is what makes marriage, then intercourse with a prostitute means you are married.
 

Duckybill

Well-known member
Aug 16, 2021
1,145
221
63
#59
There sure is a lot of opinions with no scripture of proof. Shouldn't we allow scripture to define marriage?
Government is truly Satanic and WICKED. I don't think a marriage license from Satan pleases God.
 

John146

Senior Member
Jan 13, 2016
17,131
3,689
113
#60
If the act of "two becoming one flesh" is what makes marriage, then intercourse with a prostitute means you are married.
Understanding biblical marriage sure does change things, doesn't it.