I'm going to write this in 2 parts because, as the title suggests there are 2 parts.
Part 1: I was recently hospitalized with Covid. I went unvaxed and unmasked among some serious anti people for 2 years, ever since this hit. I am neither pro nor anti either, but neither did I worry. I have DNR/AND orders in place due to other serious health issues. During my recent Covid hospitalization I actually invoked those DNR orders once when it looked like I might not make it; essentially telling them (through my pain and gasps for air) if I go down, the orders stand as written. Let me die. In that moment I was at peace, because a few years ago when I wrote those orders I started praying if I ever had to invoke them God would grant me peace, grace, and courage to face whatever comes. He did just that.
There were numerous other blessing to come out of that experience. One was lieing in that cool hospital room I should have been in AGONY due to one of my conditions. Day 3 when I started regaining some of my faculties I sat straight up in bed and praised God because I noticed I was NOT in much pain at all! And the improvement has held ever since, praise God! It was also a witness to hospital staff and my family, many of who are not saved. But through that experience God showed me He is in control; He is the Great Physician; and He is the One I can trust with my life and my soul!
Part 2: immediately after being released for the Covid I had an MRI and it showed I have cancer. But I am at peace with that as well. In fact, I just updated my DNR orders, and you'd better believe I still pray for grace when my time comes! Over a month now, and I am still waiting for an appointment for a PET Scan to see how far it has spread. Then I'll have to make an appointment with an Oncologist to discuss it and make a plan going forward. If it can be easily dealt with without chemicals, I will. If not I'll ask for paliative care when the time comes and let it take its course. Not how I'd choose to go (I'm still hoping for a massive heart attack to end it quick- please God). I watched my sister die of cancer, and it was not pretty. But I am good with it, either way. When I pray about it I typically just ask God to be Himself in it. He after all has my and others best interests at heart. My life is His anyhow- that is the covenant we made when we accepted Jesus (who is God). I trust Him to do what is best for me; and what would be the best witness to those I love. BUT He is faithful and good! Look at His timing in giving me Covid; His mercy in granting me all the numerous blessings I got from it! I don't sweat even over the delays in our healthcare where I am, because one of the great blessings from Covid was His timing allowing me to experience that and His blessings just IMMEDIATELY before my cancer diagnoses! God is good; me, I'm just sick ... but ok with that (other than getting frustrated with my memory, brain fog, chronic pain, lack of sleep, clumsiness, and ...). That said, I'm ready for that heart attack any time, Lord!
j/k
Anyone wishing to pray for me, know I covet those prayers. But just pray God will be God! And pray for me that I will have the strength, the faith, and the calm that only the Spirit can give, whatever the outcome.
In Christ, Dan
Part 1: I was recently hospitalized with Covid. I went unvaxed and unmasked among some serious anti people for 2 years, ever since this hit. I am neither pro nor anti either, but neither did I worry. I have DNR/AND orders in place due to other serious health issues. During my recent Covid hospitalization I actually invoked those DNR orders once when it looked like I might not make it; essentially telling them (through my pain and gasps for air) if I go down, the orders stand as written. Let me die. In that moment I was at peace, because a few years ago when I wrote those orders I started praying if I ever had to invoke them God would grant me peace, grace, and courage to face whatever comes. He did just that.
There were numerous other blessing to come out of that experience. One was lieing in that cool hospital room I should have been in AGONY due to one of my conditions. Day 3 when I started regaining some of my faculties I sat straight up in bed and praised God because I noticed I was NOT in much pain at all! And the improvement has held ever since, praise God! It was also a witness to hospital staff and my family, many of who are not saved. But through that experience God showed me He is in control; He is the Great Physician; and He is the One I can trust with my life and my soul!
Part 2: immediately after being released for the Covid I had an MRI and it showed I have cancer. But I am at peace with that as well. In fact, I just updated my DNR orders, and you'd better believe I still pray for grace when my time comes! Over a month now, and I am still waiting for an appointment for a PET Scan to see how far it has spread. Then I'll have to make an appointment with an Oncologist to discuss it and make a plan going forward. If it can be easily dealt with without chemicals, I will. If not I'll ask for paliative care when the time comes and let it take its course. Not how I'd choose to go (I'm still hoping for a massive heart attack to end it quick- please God). I watched my sister die of cancer, and it was not pretty. But I am good with it, either way. When I pray about it I typically just ask God to be Himself in it. He after all has my and others best interests at heart. My life is His anyhow- that is the covenant we made when we accepted Jesus (who is God). I trust Him to do what is best for me; and what would be the best witness to those I love. BUT He is faithful and good! Look at His timing in giving me Covid; His mercy in granting me all the numerous blessings I got from it! I don't sweat even over the delays in our healthcare where I am, because one of the great blessings from Covid was His timing allowing me to experience that and His blessings just IMMEDIATELY before my cancer diagnoses! God is good; me, I'm just sick ... but ok with that (other than getting frustrated with my memory, brain fog, chronic pain, lack of sleep, clumsiness, and ...). That said, I'm ready for that heart attack any time, Lord!
j/kAnyone wishing to pray for me, know I covet those prayers. But just pray God will be God! And pray for me that I will have the strength, the faith, and the calm that only the Spirit can give, whatever the outcome.
In Christ, Dan
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