Feeling so lost and lonely in life

InNeedOfSupport · Feb 4, 2022

Hi everyone,

I have been lost in life for a very long time. I have university education but I've spat on it because of so many saying how university studies nowadays are a waste. I kind of agree, I feel like I would have been in a much better position if say I finished college in a tech and worked since then. now I'm 27 and I feel like I'm closed into either history or coding. Problem is I have no desire for any of these fields. History netted me customer service telephone jobs that I despise. Coding's great cause I could work from anywhere and earn an amazing salary. I was even getting paid training for it but I turned my back on it recently because no real motivation to code anything. A year ago I was a financial adviser and I absolutely HATED that job so I left. I even have a freelance writing position and have zero motivation to work. I feel I have nothing to work towards.

During my studies all I did was play video games and work at a survey company. I went through life coasting and now I'm still at my parent's house. I made a promise to myself this year that I was going to follow a strict schedule of no video games except on sunday the Lord's day coupled with coding since although I find no love for it at least it would pay the bills.

I also wanted to live my life starting in 2022 off of 5 principals: love, strength (mental/physical), faith in God, courage and truth. But I havent done this at all, I'm isolated at home and have a somewhat loving relation with my parents, I'm hesitant/lost and gaining weight, I've answered the call of God once at least so at least I have some faith, I'm too cowardly to go participate in the protests on parliament, despite them representing everything I stand for, and I still occasionally lie to my mother even while being an adult.

I feel like I have to take a leap into something new and I left my coding for that exactly, I was going to stand shoulder to shoulder with truckers for however long it took. As I got there I got scared and turned back, groveling now to my old coding position. I feel like I'm not spreading love, I'm not in a position of strength, I'm holding on to a sliver of faith and I still speak lies.

I try to redeem myself to Christ but I'm so bloody lost. I always start things but never finish. I wish I could just find a motivating job to work towards that I could dedicate, make a career, eventually meet a woman, start a family but I feel I always shoot myself in the foot back to square one. Really demoralizing in a time where I should feel hope for freedom from vaccines.

Thing is, Covid never held me back, I was always more afraid of the consequences of my inaction rather than Covid because in a life where the Covid situation never happened I still would be struggling, I have no excuse.

blueluna5 · Feb 4, 2022

It sucks to hate your job. I've had some awful ones too. Maybe you could create curriculum? How about teachers pay teachers? Etsy? If you have a hobbie, create a side hustle.

It would suck to look for love right now, but it definitely still happens. Personally I have no friends anymore... not necessarily bc of covid but just multiple things. I just hang out with my family and kids who need me.

Otherwise just enjoy your freedom right now to look for new desires and new careers. Use your time bc when you have your own family you're out of time.

Kyless123 · Feb 4, 2022

InNeedOfSupport said:

Hi everyone,

I have been lost in life for a very long time. I have university education but I've spat on it because of so many saying how university studies nowadays are a waste. I kind of agree, I feel like I would have been in a much better position if say I finished college in a tech and worked since then. now I'm 27 and I feel like I'm closed into either history or coding. Problem is I have no desire for any of these fields. History netted me customer service telephone jobs that I despise. Coding's great cause I could work from anywhere and earn an amazing salary. I was even getting paid training for it but I turned my back on it recently because no real motivation to code anything. A year ago I was a financial adviser and I absolutely HATED that job so I left. I even have a freelance writing position and have zero motivation to work. I feel I have nothing to work towards.

During my studies all I did was play video games and work at a survey company. I went through life coasting and now I'm still at my parent's house. I made a promise to myself this year that I was going to follow a strict schedule of no video games except on sunday the Lord's day coupled with coding since although I find no love for it at least it would pay the bills.

I also wanted to live my life starting in 2022 off of 5 principals: love, strength (mental/physical), faith in God, courage and truth. But I havent done this at all, I'm isolated at home and have a somewhat loving relation with my parents, I'm hesitant/lost and gaining weight, I've answered the call of God once at least so at least I have some faith, I'm too cowardly to go participate in the protests on parliament, despite them representing everything I stand for, and I still occasionally lie to my mother even while being an adult.

I feel like I have to take a leap into something new and I left my coding for that exactly, I was going to stand shoulder to shoulder with truckers for however long it took. As I got there I got scared and turned back, groveling now to my old coding position. I feel like I'm not spreading love, I'm not in a position of strength, I'm holding on to a sliver of faith and I still speak lies.

I try to redeem myself to Christ but I'm so bloody lost. I always start things but never finish. I wish I could just find a motivating job to work towards that I could dedicate, make a career, eventually meet a woman, start a family but I feel I always shoot myself in the foot back to square one. Really demoralizing in a time where I should feel hope for freedom from vaccines.

Thing is, Covid never held me back, I was always more afraid of the consequences of my inaction rather than Covid because in a life where the Covid situation never happened I still would be struggling, I have no excuse.

Well I can say I've never really cared for any job I've had. I just go where God takes me. Not saying I dont want to work. I just cant get into what in interested in cause theres not enough money to get into it. I read awhile ago that 80% of people dont like their jobs. If your interested in trade then why not go that way. It's full time year work with a living wage. The only down side can be the long hours that are put in

Psalm130_6 · Feb 5, 2022

Hi InNeed,

First I want to say that I think it’s brave of you to post about your situation. It’s not easy to lay everything on the table, and I hope that the following advice will help you in your journey forward.

From what I have read of your post, it sounds like you feel you’ve failed in life. You set very high expectations and goals for yourself to remediate this sense of failure, and when those expectations/goals are not met, you fall into deeper frustration—to the point that you don’t even have the ability to achieve realistic ones, like motivating yourself to work.

If this seems accurate, then I get it. I’ve been there. And as someone who has experienced the above, I can tell you it’s possible to get through this and come out on the other side. I’m on the way there myself. But it’s taken God, patience, and time. What it did not take was an amazing career, a romantic relationship, or a different living situation. You can achieve peace and contentment right where you are.

There is an expression: “Wherever you go, there you are.” It means that no matter where life takes you, you cannot escape yourself. Which is a good thing, because if you want to achieve peace and contentment, you absolutely must start with yourself. I believe that is what Jesus is saying in the Bible when he talks about washing the inside of the cup before the outside: He wants us to work on ourselves from the inside out—to begin with our inner flaws, doubts and insecurities before we try to tackle our outer circumstances.

God has a plan for you. You are not forgotten, you are not unworthy. But it’s up to you to consciously choose perseverance and change. You must be willing to get up and stand firm in your resolutions. Start small—give yourself very realistic, basic aspirations to attain, and build up from there. This will be a process; it won’t happen in a day, a month, or even a year. There will be good days and bad days. Pray consistently and honestly. Respect yourself, realizing that your actions define you, not your circumstances.

I’m 28, still living at home, and I feel happier with my life than I have in over a decade. This did not happen because everything fell perfectly into place. It happened because eventually I made a conscious, intentional decision not to strive against my circumstances, but to improve them as I was able. In the beginning, I improved very little; it was an uphill battle that felt like it had no end in sight. But I worked consistently on myself every day—sometimes it was one step forward and two steps back, but I never gave up because I was not satisfied to remain in that state. I continue to make the decision to persevere even though life isn’t easy. The Lord has been with me every single day, and I would not be at this place if not for Him.

I believe you can do this, and I will be praying that you will find the peace and happiness that you seek. God bless.

brighthouse98 · Feb 7, 2022

Brother In Need, As an Elder in the Body of Christ,my goal is to help,and give aid to those in need such as yourself. I hope you take what I write as not being mean,but I am a bottom line believer. Point 1 You must change your mindset! Feel, and try never did a thing! I look at us believers to start out as baby birds,in order to grow we must feed ourself on the Word of God!( Rom 12:1-3) What does this mean you may wonder?

Every believer has been in your present mindset,now the question is what are we as believers going to do about it? Feel sorry for ourself sure did me no good! I cried out as you are doing,and then in prayer being fed up with life as a whole,Holy Spirit deep within me spoke this to me."( Romans 13:11-14) Act in the measure of faith you now have,be not afraid for I am with you always!! I am not a feeling,I am who I AM!! Even as you are!( 1 Cor 15:10")

Before you can fly,the Lord will prepare you to fly,if you allow him to brother. Feed much of the Word of God my brother!! With doubt we do without,but believing brings receiving! It takes time brother, we do not fly overnight,but be faithful to what you know is right,and keep your peace by following in HIS instruction!!( Phil 4:7-9!!) We all need support brother,find either a church,or likeminded people such as yourself,who really care about having victory in one's life( 2 Cor 2:14)

Our job brother is to remove all doubt,and like our Jesus said only believe!!( Mark 5:36!!) You will be flying around in no time brother!! And what is our mission?? To help others,to build up people,to not only speak victory in our life,but in there's as well!! You are LOVED brother!!! Love brings peace,and peace bring's unity!!( Gal 6:1-10!!!) May every blessing find you brother,and find you most well through our Lord Jesus!!

Mii · Feb 8, 2022

Not sure what the substitute teaching scene is like in Canada (I presume you live there based off "truckers" & "parliament") but here I've been moving toward that more and more because it seems to sort of suit the "adrift" phase reasonably well. Granted, I missed the right time to apply and I have to scrounge something else in the interim...

What about teaching? Doesn't pay the best, but if you find that you actually like it...it's a sustainable career.

There are so many directions to go with history even within the confines of what the state would have you teach by making it come "alive" and facilitating deep discussion. Not sure how much you'd get in a high school (ages 14-18) setting but I'm sure there'd be some. Here in the U.S you could only teach high school without a Masters degre (as far as I know) but there are SOOOO many boring history teachers with no creativity or innovation and there is legitimately a Godly opportunity within it.

Not by teaching Jewish history or biblical history but by teaching people how to actually glean from history, find truth, and apply it to the world (and their lives) today. That is worthy work it seems to me.

That is of course if you are interested in teaching and have some predisposition in that area. I'm only just getting minor processes going in that area after having it knocking around as "an idea" for almost 10 years.

Dymes · Feb 9, 2022

InNeedOfSupport said:

Forgive me, but this is just my opinion. You seem ungrateful, lazy, and a bit out of touch with reality. Who complains about a easy job making an "amazing" salary? Most people work jobs they hate, but they go to work day in and day out because they are adults. A job you love isn't promised. You are fortunate to even have a nice job in these crazy times, and here you are complaining. If you want something to work towards, work on being a strong man. Men do things simply because they need to get done. They don't wait until they feel like it, they don't wait until they feel motivated. Get it done. Get back to coding, get stable, and take care of yourself 1st. How can you be thinking of a woman when you can't even muster the small amount of will power to be responsible and take care of yourself? You think her father would feel comfortable giving his daughter away to a man like you? Sorry if it sound harsh, but it's true. I don't know where people get these feelings where they should just "go and try something new". For what? That only left you in a position of no strength. Which is another thing I don't understand. What would you call a position of strength?

Lastly, you said you tried to redeem yourself to Christ. You don't do the redeeming, He does. Christianity is a life for a life. Christ gave his life so that you could have eternal life. You must give your life to receive His. And throughout the rest of your life He will conform you to his own image. That is your purpose as a Christian. To have your mind renewed to think and act like Christ. It's the biggest commitment of anyone's life. Give yourself to this, let this be the thing you work toward, and the rest will fall into place.

My apologies if I offended you. My deepest apologies if I've told you wrong. It wasn't my intent.

InNeedOfSupport · Feb 9, 2022

Psalm130_6 said:

Hi InNeed,

First I want to say that I think it’s brave of you to post about your situation. It’s not easy to lay everything on the table, and I hope that the following advice will help you in your journey forward.

From what I have read of your post, it sounds like you feel you’ve failed in life. You set very high expectations and goals for yourself to remediate this sense of failure, and when those expectations/goals are not met, you fall into deeper frustration—to the point that you don’t even have the ability to achieve realistic ones, like motivating yourself to work.

If this seems accurate, then I get it. I’ve been there. And as someone who has experienced the above, I can tell you it’s possible to get through this and come out on the other side. I’m on the way there myself. But it’s taken God, patience, and time. What it did not take was an amazing career, a romantic relationship, or a different living situation. You can achieve peace and contentment right where you are.

There is an expression: “Wherever you go, there you are.” It means that no matter where life takes you, you cannot escape yourself. Which is a good thing, because if you want to achieve peace and contentment, you absolutely must start with yourself. I believe that is what Jesus is saying in the Bible when he talks about washing the inside of the cup before the outside: He wants us to work on ourselves from the inside out—to begin with our inner flaws, doubts and insecurities before we try to tackle our outer circumstances.

God has a plan for you. You are not forgotten, you are not unworthy. But it’s up to you to consciously choose perseverance and change. You must be willing to get up and stand firm in your resolutions. Start small—give yourself very realistic, basic aspirations to attain, and build up from there. This will be a process; it won’t happen in a day, a month, or even a year. There will be good days and bad days. Pray consistently and honestly. Respect yourself, realizing that your actions define you, not your circumstances.

I’m 28, still living at home, and I feel happier with my life than I have in over a decade. This did not happen because everything fell perfectly into place. It happened because eventually I made a conscious, intentional decision not to strive against my circumstances, but to improve them as I was able. In the beginning, I improved very little; it was an uphill battle that felt like it had no end in sight. But I worked consistently on myself every day—sometimes it was one step forward and two steps back, but I never gave up because I was not satisfied to remain in that state. I continue to make the decision to persevere even though life isn’t easy. The Lord has been with me every single day, and I would not be at this place if not for Him.

I believe you can do this, and I will be praying that you will find the peace and happiness that you seek. God bless.

Very helpful I think that's the lesson God taught me with the actions I undertook and the people I speak with. Just being content with what I have and learning to be grateful.

I guess I'm so eager to have my life mean something that maybe I could make it mean something by humbling my ego, having children and raising a better generation who will not repeat my mistakes.

Still need to take better care of myself to meet a woman first tho

Butterflyyy · Feb 11, 2022

You need to go to a Church where the people really know and love God; is that possible?
Keep asking Him to help and guide you; keep trusting Him... cast your cares on Him for He cares for you x

Jager · Mar 31, 2022

InNeedOfSupport said:

Hi everyone,

I have been lost in life for a very long time. I have university education but I've spat on it because of so many saying how university studies nowadays are a waste. I kind of agree, I feel like I would have been in a much better position if say I finished college in a tech and worked since then. now I'm 27 and I feel like I'm closed into either history or coding. Problem is I have no desire for any of these fields. History netted me customer service telephone jobs that I despise. Coding's great cause I could work from anywhere and earn an amazing salary. I was even getting paid training for it but I turned my back on it recently because no real motivation to code anything. A year ago I was a financial adviser and I absolutely HATED that job so I left. I even have a freelance writing position and have zero motivation to work. I feel I have nothing to work towards.

During my studies all I did was play video games and work at a survey company. I went through life coasting and now I'm still at my parent's house. I made a promise to myself this year that I was going to follow a strict schedule of no video games except on sunday the Lord's day coupled with coding since although I find no love for it at least it would pay the bills.

I also wanted to live my life starting in 2022 off of 5 principals: love, strength (mental/physical), faith in God, courage and truth. But I havent done this at all, I'm isolated at home and have a somewhat loving relation with my parents, I'm hesitant/lost and gaining weight, I've answered the call of God once at least so at least I have some faith, I'm too cowardly to go participate in the protests on parliament, despite them representing everything I stand for, and I still occasionally lie to my mother even while being an adult.

I feel like I have to take a leap into something new and I left my coding for that exactly, I was going to stand shoulder to shoulder with truckers for however long it took. As I got there I got scared and turned back, groveling now to my old coding position. I feel like I'm not spreading love, I'm not in a position of strength, I'm holding on to a sliver of faith and I still speak lies.

I try to redeem myself to Christ but I'm so bloody lost. I always start things but never finish. I wish I could just find a motivating job to work towards that I could dedicate, make a career, eventually meet a woman, start a family but I feel I always shoot myself in the foot back to square one. Really demoralizing in a time where I should feel hope for freedom from vaccines.

Thing is, Covid never held me back, I was always more afraid of the consequences of my inaction rather than Covid because in a life where the Covid situation never happened I still would be struggling, I have no excuse.

First off stops sneeding and coping. secondsgo outside

Runningman · Mar 31, 2022

InNeedOfSupport said:

Honestly from all you’ve said you seem to have a great life with tons of opportunities and privilege. You know English well which makes your marketability outstanding. I don’t know if you know what most of the world is like, but if you don’t know English your opportunities are much less.

You seem to want for nothing: food, clothing, and shelter. If you have these things then you’re rich. Actually, you’re living in excess and have access to video games and presumably many more luxuries.

You’re problems are mostly in your mind.

If I you don’t mind me asking, what are you lying about specifically? I’m not going to excuse you, but start telling the truth. It’s better to tell the ugly truth even when it’s shameful. God loves the truth even when it is bad.

Feel free to admit to God, the good and the bad, and don’t hold back or attempt to make yourself sound better than you actually are. Trust me he’s listening.

Try to get out more and meet people.

Do you have any secret habitual sins? You know what they are if any. Those things fester and can harm your spirit and open you to spiritual attacks. Just make you feel dead inside.

You can lose weight without exercising by modifying your diet. If you want any specific advice on that point then ask because I know a bit about that.

Have you thought of teaching English somewhere overseas? There’s a lot of great opportunities out there. Often they are just looking for a native English speaking conversational partner to teach the nuances, voice inflection, mannerisms, and culture or Western society.

epicnerpmada · May 1, 2022

InNeedOfSupport said:

Hi everyone,

I have been lost in life for a very long time. I have university education but I've spat on it because of so many saying how university studies nowadays are a waste. I kind of agree, I feel like I would have been in a much better position if say I finished college in a tech and worked since then. now I'm 27 and I feel like I'm closed into either history or coding. Problem is I have no desire for any of these fields. History netted me customer service telephone jobs that I despise. Coding's great cause I could work from anywhere and earn an amazing salary. I was even getting paid training for it but I turned my back on it recently because no real motivation to code anything. A year ago I was a financial adviser and I absolutely HATED that job so I left. I even have a freelance writing position and have zero motivation to work. I feel I have nothing to work towards.

During my studies all I did was play video games and work at a survey company. I went through life coasting and now I'm still at my parent's house. I made a promise to myself this year that I was going to follow a strict schedule of no video games except on sunday the Lord's day coupled with coding since although I find no love for it at least it would pay the bills.

I also wanted to live my life starting in 2022 off of 5 principals: love, strength (mental/physical), faith in God, courage and truth. But I havent done this at all, I'm isolated at home and have a somewhat loving relation with my parents, I'm hesitant/lost and gaining weight, I've answered the call of God once at least so at least I have some faith, I'm too cowardly to go participate in the protests on parliament, despite them representing everything I stand for, and I still occasionally lie to my mother even while being an adult.

I feel like I have to take a leap into something new and I left my coding for that exactly, I was going to stand shoulder to shoulder with truckers for however long it took. As I got there I got scared and turned back, groveling now to my old coding position. I feel like I'm not spreading love, I'm not in a position of strength, I'm holding on to a sliver of faith and I still speak lies.

I try to redeem myself to Christ but I'm so bloody lost. I always start things but never finish. I wish I could just find a motivating job to work towards that I could dedicate, make a career, eventually meet a woman, start a family but I feel I always shoot myself in the foot back to square one. Really demoralizing in a time where I should feel hope for freedom from vaccines.

Thing is, Covid never held me back, I was always more afraid of the consequences of my inaction rather than Covid because in a life where the Covid situation never happened I still would be struggling, I have no excuse.

Jordan Peterson sounds like the mentor you need. Harsh but caring father figure.

Butterflyyy · May 2, 2022

Hey INOS
How’s it going? Did you find a Church where you get spiritually fed and encouraged? x

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Feeling so lost and lonely in life

InNeedOfSupport

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blueluna5

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Kyless123

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Psalm130_6

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brighthouse98

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Mii

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Dymes

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InNeedOfSupport

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Butterflyyy

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Jager

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Runningman

Banned

epicnerpmada

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Butterflyyy

Well-known member