My name is Caitlin and I'm 21 from the UK.
I was saved in 2016 after almost committing suicide.
I have always felt the pull of our Lord all my life but didn't want to speak out due to society's judgement. What would people I hung around with think if I told them I was religious? Would they think I was a prude or a weirdo?
I was drugged one night as a teen and I begged for death. I was in so much pain and was so scared I asked my dad to kill me as I lay in the back of a police car.
Eventually I moved on but three years later I was in college and had a breakdown. I planned to kill myself I stopped eating, showering, brushing my teeth everything until my Mum took me to the doctor and I simply said "I don't want to be here anymore." Weeks later I remembered I had an old Bible from highschool and felt a desire so strong I cannot put into words to find this Bible. Ripped my house apart looking for it and I finally did.
I confessed my sins (and trust me I did a lot of stupid things) and opened a relationship with God. It's funny now I think about it like He was waiting for me the whole time.
Now I have severe PTSD from that night and other serious traumatic events (I've been beaten, had a loaded gun to me so many near death experiences) and I haven't left my house properly in six years because of the panic attacks and triggers. There are days I ask the Lord why I'm still alive, why is there constant fear in my head but love for life and love for the Lord in my heart? With Him I don't feel like a victim I feel like light shines through out me, He makes me never want to be weak again. I pray everyday.
I've been in therapy and am currently in EDMR but I've always wanted Christian friends to pray with, to discuss the Bible and His love. The struggles I have with faith sometimes, the struggles of everyday. I never had any Christian friends and I do feel alone because it is such a big part of my life and who I am.
I'm fighting for the happiness our Lord shows me in my dreams. I'm fighting for the love He has blessed me with and the dreams I want to make reality.
I want to love, to give and be happy all through Jesus Christ.
I was saved in 2016 after almost committing suicide.
I have always felt the pull of our Lord all my life but didn't want to speak out due to society's judgement. What would people I hung around with think if I told them I was religious? Would they think I was a prude or a weirdo?
I was drugged one night as a teen and I begged for death. I was in so much pain and was so scared I asked my dad to kill me as I lay in the back of a police car.
Eventually I moved on but three years later I was in college and had a breakdown. I planned to kill myself I stopped eating, showering, brushing my teeth everything until my Mum took me to the doctor and I simply said "I don't want to be here anymore." Weeks later I remembered I had an old Bible from highschool and felt a desire so strong I cannot put into words to find this Bible. Ripped my house apart looking for it and I finally did.
I confessed my sins (and trust me I did a lot of stupid things) and opened a relationship with God. It's funny now I think about it like He was waiting for me the whole time.
Now I have severe PTSD from that night and other serious traumatic events (I've been beaten, had a loaded gun to me so many near death experiences) and I haven't left my house properly in six years because of the panic attacks and triggers. There are days I ask the Lord why I'm still alive, why is there constant fear in my head but love for life and love for the Lord in my heart? With Him I don't feel like a victim I feel like light shines through out me, He makes me never want to be weak again. I pray everyday.
I've been in therapy and am currently in EDMR but I've always wanted Christian friends to pray with, to discuss the Bible and His love. The struggles I have with faith sometimes, the struggles of everyday. I never had any Christian friends and I do feel alone because it is such a big part of my life and who I am.
I'm fighting for the happiness our Lord shows me in my dreams. I'm fighting for the love He has blessed me with and the dreams I want to make reality.
I want to love, to give and be happy all through Jesus Christ.
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