All is wicked-- help me.

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eGh2003

New member
Apr 11, 2022
5
2
3
#1
Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,154
29,461
113
#3
If I were to die right now, I would go to hell
There are none righteous, no not even one, but neither is there any condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Romans 10:9If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
13,584
9,103
113
#4
Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.
Do you know that most Christians experience to varying degrees exactly what you have described?

Important question.
What do you think makes someone a Christian?
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
113
#6
Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.
A bit of what you said reminded me of a passage from Romans 7 where Paul went on a similar rant about his struggles with sin. Perhaps you can draw wisdom and guidance from this as Paul not only addresses the problem common to all Christians, but also the solution.

Romans 7:14-25 NASB
14For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am fleshly, sold into bondage to sin. 15For I do not understand what I am doing; for I am not practicing what I want to do, but I do the very thing I hate. 16However, if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, that the Law is good. 17But now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin that dwells in me. 18For I know that good does not dwell in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. 19For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. 20But if I do the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin that dwells in me.

21I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. 22For I joyfully agree with the law of God in the inner person, 23but I see a different law in the parts of my body waging war against the law of my mind, and making me a prisoner of the law of sin, the law which is in my body’s parts. 24Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? 25Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.


And for your benefit I recommended you keep reading from onward from there, meditate on it, pray about it. I will say a prayer for you.
 

eGh2003

New member
Apr 11, 2022
5
2
3
#7
Do you know that most Christians experience to varying degrees exactly what you have described?

Important question.
What do you think makes someone a Christian?
Simply believing that God has died for your sins, and that you repent from them.

I know this, but the problem is, do I really believe that then? If I truly believed that I wouldn't be living this kind of life.
 

eGh2003

New member
Apr 11, 2022
5
2
3
#8
A bit of what you said reminded me of a passage from Romans 7 where Paul went on a similar rant about his struggles with sin. Perhaps you can draw wisdom and guidance from this as Paul not only addresses the problem common to all Christians, but also the solution.

Romans 7:14-25 NASB
14For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am fleshly, sold into bondage to sin. 15For I do not understand what I am doing; for I am not practicing what I want to do, but I do the very thing I hate. 16However, if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, that the Law is good. 17But now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin that dwells in me. 18For I know that good does not dwell in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. 19For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. 20But if I do the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin that dwells in me.

21I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. 22For I joyfully agree with the law of God in the inner person, 23but I see a different law in the parts of my body waging war against the law of my mind, and making me a prisoner of the law of sin, the law which is in my body’s parts. 24Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? 25Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.


And for your benefit I recommended you keep reading from onward from there, meditate on it, pray about it. I will say a prayer for you.
Thank you for this, I will be reading from here.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,217
2,523
113
#9
Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.
Who do you want to be?
Who are you?

Why?

If you want to change...then change your friends...the ones who cause you to want to revel in sinful behavior.

That's a start.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,060
3,173
113
#10
Simply believing that God has died for your sins, and that you repent from them.

I know this, but the problem is, do I really believe that then? If I truly believed that I wouldn't be living this kind of life.
It seems a lack of faith. Faith is trusting and believing something without evidence of its truth.
Telling people they lack faith is not something I normally do, but in this case it seems the most accurate.
You said yourself all that you believe needs to be done to be saved, but when it comes to yourself you add "but...". Either what you said is true for you and everyone, or it's not true for anyone.

I suggest you read the bible and focus on the behaviors of those that claim to trust in God. Or even followed Jesus personally.
How about Peter attacking a guard come to arrest Jesus and cutting the guards ear off? That Jesus then healed.
Perhaps when Peter was walking on water with Jesus and feared and began sinking?
Or when Peter, twice, denied knowing Jesus, despite spending 3 years with him. And following all this Jesus stated Peter was the rock the church was founded on.
Peter, who walked with Jesus, witnessed and partook in his miracles for 3 years, yet kept doubting and failing.
And he's just one example. Go read and find more.

It seems you're taking a religious, works oriented view of things.
And anyone as stressed out about their faith as you are is not cold hearted or any of the things you mentioned. Nor does being a "good Christian" mean you don't sin. More accurately a "good Christian" (a biblically inaccurate term) is not sinless but one that is always striving to grow and change and learn.
When all the things you clearly care so much about stop being important, That's where potential trouble lies.
You have the right attitude, but it's focused on religious rules rather than biblical doctrine.
Take your current attitude and line it up with what the bible Actually says, and believe it, and you'll Then see a difference.

And if you're struggling with a sin, use it as a growing experience. And if need be get extra help, don't wait for everything to just magically stop.
 

eGh2003

New member
Apr 11, 2022
5
2
3
#11
It seems a lack of faith. Faith is trusting and believing something without evidence of its truth...

...It seems you're taking a religious, works oriented view of things.
I know you are right, I lack faith. Ultimately that's what it boils down to.

I believe that works are a direct reflection of your beliefs.
I didn't mean that works will get you into heaven, that is definitely not Biblical.
 

soberxp

Senior Member
May 3, 2018
2,511
482
83
#12
I think one day you will completely hate and be tired of your evil deeds and become a true Christian.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,060
3,173
113
#13
I know you are right, I lack faith. Ultimately that's what it boils down to.

I believe that works are a direct reflection of your beliefs.
I didn't mean that works will get you into heaven, that is definitely not Biblical.
True. Works is One evidence, but not The evidence.
And each person is different and each person's struggles and journey and growth is different. For some works may be clear, but they may lack in other areas. Don't expect a lifetimes worth of work to be evident in a short time. Or isolate one concept of evidence and say you're bad for that lack.
Rather I'd sat to trust that as long as you're working and striving to grow you're where you're supposed to be.
Look at someone as spiritually advanced as Paul, yet still sharing how he struggles to do right, and often choose to do wrong. Would you label Paul a "bad Christian" that lacked works evidence?
If anything what makes Paul a good example is his willingness to admit his shortcomings, yet not be held back because of them. Rather than chastising himself for not being good enough he recognized, in faith, how God speaks about His children that mattered. And knew that even in his failures that didn't change how God viewed him. And the Evidence was that he kept striving, even through failure.
According to one comment here Paul would not qualify as a "true Christian". Don't fall into that mindset.
 

soberxp

Senior Member
May 3, 2018
2,511
482
83
#14
I think one day you will completely hate and be tired of your evil deeds and become a true Christian.
I think one day you will get tired of those bad behaviors and really live to faith.
 

Jesusfollower

Active member
Oct 21, 2021
352
197
43
jamaica
#16
Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.
To acknowledge sin is the beginning, it takes time, give it time do not try to change everything at once but day by day, build a strong foundation you will overcome. trust in GOD pray, follow the commandments it is why they are there. read the bible as often as you can. in this era it is difficult we have to many distractions, tv, internet not easy but nothing is easy. it is not easy for any of us.


Blessings.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
13,097
10,663
113
#17
Only when you truly want to stop the bad habit will anything happen. There have been a few times in my life where I was steeped in wrong behavior and when it got to the point that I knew it was interfering with my connection to God and detrimental to my health, is when I cried out to the Lord for help.
I was sincere and the Lord knew it and in a matter of a week God helped me get set free of two negative habits. When you get to that point where your whole being wants help, God will make a way. God bless🙏
 

blueluna5

Well-known member
Jul 30, 2018
657
393
63
#18
Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.
That is not what the verse says. In any event you should follow this one: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Psalm 37:24

When God looks at you he sees Jesus. Seems unfair but that is the reason Jesus gave up his life. It's not even possible for people to live a holy life bc we're born of sin. It's genetically passed down even from Adam and Eve. To say I don't accept relying on Jesus is to reject Jesus. Essentially you would do this out of guilt.... but God wouldn't let you anyway.

The love you feel for God is his love reflecting back. We are not independent of God. Therefore God does love you and you are his despite your sin.

Even though you're saved, you should try to get rid of your sin as much as you can. It will bless your life on earth and store riches from heaven. But you wouldn't go to h*** if you don't bc it doesn't rely on you. It's a gift. Like a judge saying you're guilty but I'm going to pardon you and take your place.

If you had a child who was into drugs and doing things they shouldn't you might let it run its course after so many years trying to help. But would you still jump in front of a bullet to save them? Probably. Even as mere humans we have a great love for some. But God's love is much greater.

Pray to God and thank him. Stop focusing on yourself, your sin. Thank him for who he is and what he does for you. Ask him what he would like you to do and if you already know try to stop the sin (if it is indeed a sin). It will still pull you down, but you're still loved. Such is the way of the Christian.
 
Oct 27, 2022
62
27
8
#19
Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.
My friend, it sounds to me like you are allowing Satan to kick your rear end. God has given us power over all our enemies, including Satan, Luke 10:19. You need to believe that and rebuke the evil out of your life in the name of Jesus. It wouldn't hurt if you was to take a little olive oil and anoint yourself and the doorposts of your house and ask God to drive out all evil from your life and give you power to overcome all your weaknesses. You need to change your attitude into a more positive one, increase your faith in God and allow him to set you free. Friend, God loves you and hates to see you suffer they way you are. You can change all of this by deciding to change the way you think and the things you do, relying on God to help you through. I pray for a divine intervention into your life from on High. You need the Lord's help to ward off Satan's attack. God bless you and good luck in the new year.
 
Feb 4, 2023
38
19
8
#20
Truly, all is wicked-- all but from God.

This is going to be my long-winded rant, if you take the time to read this, please give me advice and prayer.


I am struggling. Like seriously struggling. I have realized that everything I do and that everything I set my heart on is wicked. How can this not be true? Because if anything I do and anything I set my heart on is apart from God, than it is wicked, surely.

I've realized that I am not a Christian, or if I am than a lousy one at that. Although I do love God, for He is the most amazing, loving, and perfect thing in all of existence, my logical-self keeps telling me that I don't. If I did love God, why then do I still live like I do not love Him? Equally, if you were to look at my life, it is not the life of a Christian. I am all talk, no action.

I know my problems. I clearly have Idols in my life, I clearly don't have my priorities straight, I clearly have a hard heart, and clearly I love living in my sin. I am so wicked. I repeat the same sin and I feel no guilt. This scares me. It really does. If I were to die right now, I would go to hell and I would be apart from God. I don't want to hear it, but I think I would be absolutely hopeless if I were to lie to myself. I cannot break away from my sin, because I am a slave to it. I can't serve two masters. The only way I can be saved is by God, and only by God.

I cannot recall what exactly, whether it was a sermon I heard or a verse, but it was something along the lines of; "Come to Me leaving everything or do not come at all." How? How can I do this when every part of me does not want to do it? My flesh will die, but it is my flesh that governs my life. I've been losing in the war between the flesh and the spirit. I feed one and not the other. But what happens when the flesh has grown too large? What can I do, when I won't do anything? Who am I to defy what my flesh is? Oh how wicked I am, oh how wicked. There is simply nothing I can do. Only God can save me.

What now? I pray every night that God would change my wicked heart, that I would repent. More often than not, I pray that I would want to pray this. Because most times I don't even mean it, I think.

I don't know how to give it all up. I am not strong enough to give it all up. I am an evil person. I am looking for wisdom on this.
Hello! Are you still struggling about this? It seems like you're not active here anymore.