Being Single
- Thread starter Willow
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Idk your area but around me are many churches. I'm in two small groups at one church and volunteer off and on. Are there any Bible studies or zoom groups around you who study the Bible? I'd go to lunch or the movies with you also, if you're ever in SoCal🥰 I pray the Lord opens doors to local Christian connections for you, in Jesus name, Amen🙏
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how old are your friends? I dont really go out with ppl that like to get drunk
I'm probably the one that asks others to go out though I dont always go shopping cos the other person might not have much money to spend and its no fun to go when you dont have money!
But if you find someone who likes op shopping that can be fun.
you can only suggest things and if they say no ask someone else. If you are paying sure! most ppl would want to go if you are shouting (paying) .... and even more if you can provide transport
I'm probably the one that asks others to go out though I dont always go shopping cos the other person might not have much money to spend and its no fun to go when you dont have money!
But if you find someone who likes op shopping that can be fun.
you can only suggest things and if they say no ask someone else. If you are paying sure! most ppl would want to go if you are shouting (paying) .... and even more if you can provide transport
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It seems sadly most people lean toward staying at home or sadly drinking alot. I have friends all ages. For me shopping does not mean spending much if anything at all. I like nature hikes ,but many don't care for outdoors things either. I have suggested I pay , people seem to be stuck with the thought of staying in. I think the covid thing caused alot of it.
L
In all honesty, the only people who ever go shopping with me, out to lunch with me, or to the movies with me (I rarely go to the movies unless I think that there might be some redeeming content in the movie that I can later use as a teaching opportunity) are my three children (I'm divorced).
Other than them, I basically live a life of undesired solitude and/or obscurity.
All (and I mean ALL) of the churches around me (and I've tried plenty of them, including some in other states) are basically cults in that they teach things that are so contrary to the actual word of God that I could never find true fellowship there, so I don't even have that.
As I type, I basically have two Christian friends on the face of this earth who I can actually talk to, and I met them both here my first time around. One I only talk to via private messages, and the other I've spoken to via private messages and phone calls on many occasions.
Sad to say, that's truly it.
That said, the Lord has never left me nor forsaken me, and he is definitely the primary source of my fellowship. Out of that relationship comes a desire to serve him and to seek and to save that which is lost...which is what I spend the bulk of my time trying to do.
In all honesty, and God is well aware of this, I would like more human companionship, but it is what it is.
God's grace is sufficient.
Other than them, I basically live a life of undesired solitude and/or obscurity.
All (and I mean ALL) of the churches around me (and I've tried plenty of them, including some in other states) are basically cults in that they teach things that are so contrary to the actual word of God that I could never find true fellowship there, so I don't even have that.
As I type, I basically have two Christian friends on the face of this earth who I can actually talk to, and I met them both here my first time around. One I only talk to via private messages, and the other I've spoken to via private messages and phone calls on many occasions.
Sad to say, that's truly it.
That said, the Lord has never left me nor forsaken me, and he is definitely the primary source of my fellowship. Out of that relationship comes a desire to serve him and to seek and to save that which is lost...which is what I spend the bulk of my time trying to do.
In all honesty, and God is well aware of this, I would like more human companionship, but it is what it is.
God's grace is sufficient.
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Hi Willow 👋🏼
I'm sorry you're having a hard time finding people to fellowship with.
I think you're right about covid playing a role.
I'm not sure if you're on FB or other social media platforms but very often in my local FB pages (we have a few "Chatterbox pages") I see people advertising Hiking/ Walking clubs.
Anyone interest shows up at a designated meeting place and off they go.
Sometimes 20 ppl show up, sometimes 3 do.
That may be something your area offers and if not, perhaps you'd be interested in starting one?
I also see individuals saying they're new in town, bored, seeking friendships etc and give a brief description in their write up about their interests, to see if anyone wants to get together for a coffee or lunch etc.
(Most aren't looking for romantic opportunities and they state that in their post).
Someone above mentioned they've connected with a couple people here and have become close friends.
Online friendships have certainly been a huge blessing in my life.
While an opportunity to meet face to face may not present itself, perhaps having a few good online friendships would help encourage you?
Aside from the above suggestions, volunteering may also be a option to meet people...as well as be a blessing to others.
Praying you're encouraged with some new friendships soon! 🙏🏻
I'm sorry you're having a hard time finding people to fellowship with.
I think you're right about covid playing a role.
I'm not sure if you're on FB or other social media platforms but very often in my local FB pages (we have a few "Chatterbox pages") I see people advertising Hiking/ Walking clubs.
Anyone interest shows up at a designated meeting place and off they go.
Sometimes 20 ppl show up, sometimes 3 do.
That may be something your area offers and if not, perhaps you'd be interested in starting one?
I also see individuals saying they're new in town, bored, seeking friendships etc and give a brief description in their write up about their interests, to see if anyone wants to get together for a coffee or lunch etc.
(Most aren't looking for romantic opportunities and they state that in their post).
Someone above mentioned they've connected with a couple people here and have become close friends.
Online friendships have certainly been a huge blessing in my life.
While an opportunity to meet face to face may not present itself, perhaps having a few good online friendships would help encourage you?
Aside from the above suggestions, volunteering may also be a option to meet people...as well as be a blessing to others.
Praying you're encouraged with some new friendships soon! 🙏🏻
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It is amazing . . . it was as if I woke up this morning and read a message that I had written, yet know that I did not actually write. You have described my own experience. God has severed me from nearly everyone in my past. And for this, I am grateful, for what I have gained cannot be purchased with all of the money in the world. And what is that? True Believe in our Powerful, Almighty God.
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well you cant blame people for not wanting to go out then get sick or spread it to their houses when covid is around
I find shopping tiring just looking at stuff that cant afford or got nowhere to put so, not many ppl would want to shop with me and spend ages looking at books for example. Or trying to find clothes that fit. uNkess they really want to buy books and need new clothes too.
You just need to ask ppl what they like to do. There was one friend who was like fancy aswim and I was like not really its getting cold. then she said what about gym but I am not a member. So I said hot pool. so she said ok but she wants to go lane swimming first, but since Im not a swimmer Im like I can just walk around NOT in the pool lol
you dont have to do what you dont feel comfortable doing...
I find shopping tiring just looking at stuff that cant afford or got nowhere to put so, not many ppl would want to shop with me and spend ages looking at books for example. Or trying to find clothes that fit. uNkess they really want to buy books and need new clothes too.
You just need to ask ppl what they like to do. There was one friend who was like fancy aswim and I was like not really its getting cold. then she said what about gym but I am not a member. So I said hot pool. so she said ok but she wants to go lane swimming first, but since Im not a swimmer Im like I can just walk around NOT in the pool lol
you dont have to do what you dont feel comfortable doing...
Why not spend the time putting together a 2ndTimothyGroup?
A 2ndTimothyGroup is a set of people who "work" for the benefit of others. We bring our collective gifts, whatever they are, and use them for the benefit of those in need. Those who have money . . . they give so that the money can be given to the poor. Those who are physically capable, they mow lawns for the families that have an injured dad who cannot perform this work (paint a house, or whatever work needed to be done). For those in legal trouble, lawyers might give free advice. But here's the other cool thing: For all of the "departments" within the 2ndTimothyGroup, give those positions of title to children so that when the apply for their first job, they can say, "I was the Accountant for the 2ndTimothyGroup, a nonprofit organization in my neighborhood." Or, another child can say, "I was the President of the 2ndTimothyGroup." Another might say, "I was the Marketing Director." Another might say that they were in charge of the Sales department.
Do something useful; something beneficial for others, and when we are doing things for others, we are really doing these things for the Lord.
A 2ndTimothyGroup is a set of people who "work" for the benefit of others. We bring our collective gifts, whatever they are, and use them for the benefit of those in need. Those who have money . . . they give so that the money can be given to the poor. Those who are physically capable, they mow lawns for the families that have an injured dad who cannot perform this work (paint a house, or whatever work needed to be done). For those in legal trouble, lawyers might give free advice. But here's the other cool thing: For all of the "departments" within the 2ndTimothyGroup, give those positions of title to children so that when the apply for their first job, they can say, "I was the Accountant for the 2ndTimothyGroup, a nonprofit organization in my neighborhood." Or, another child can say, "I was the President of the 2ndTimothyGroup." Another might say, "I was the Marketing Director." Another might say that they were in charge of the Sales department.
Do something useful; something beneficial for others, and when we are doing things for others, we are really doing these things for the Lord.
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start another chapter of the Babysitters Club!
as for hiking, there are lots of hiking groups you could join already, and people that are in them love hiking, so its not like you need to ask people to go with you that dont like hiking.
Find out what groups are in your area, and go along to a few, stick with the ones that you like and make friends that way.
if you in a Bible study group have get togethers evry so often that are NOT bible related where you do something fun
I dont think those in Bible study groups actually like getting drunk anyway
as for hiking, there are lots of hiking groups you could join already, and people that are in them love hiking, so its not like you need to ask people to go with you that dont like hiking.
Find out what groups are in your area, and go along to a few, stick with the ones that you like and make friends that way.
if you in a Bible study group have get togethers evry so often that are NOT bible related where you do something fun
I dont think those in Bible study groups actually like getting drunk anyway
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You are NOT the only one. This has been a gripe of mine for some time.
The Christian world tells you to not fellowship with the world, but with believers. Okay. WHERE?? HOW?? It seems like most Christians are content to either live solitary lives, or go home to their wives, husbands and kids, forgetting everybody else.
For decades living in the NY/tristate area, drumming up a Christian social life was like trying to find a rare, archaeological artifact. Eventually I found something, but it took years.
One pastor in Pasadena, CA once told me that I should make friends through service within his church. Then he got stern and said that his church does not provide singles ministries. ???? What a !&!@# That was my first and last time in his church.
In most churches I've attended, people go to church, then go home. "Fellowshipping" takes place on special occasions at the church.
Some churches have small groups, which I've found helpful. But, my current church does not have these. I've considered leaving on this basis.
When I lived in L.A., it took a while, but I eventually amassed a Christian social life (this started in 2010). It was all men, but at least I had Christian buddies to go to movies with and stuff. In AZ, nothing. Been here since Oct 2019. No social life to speak of.
I've tried meetup groups in the Phoenix area, but that hasn't proven the least bit helpful (thus far). One guy in one of these groups suggested I go to such & such a meetup group for that. Thanks.
I get you sister. Just because I'm a big, terrifying lizard, doesn't mean I don't have a sensitive side, too. I am considering jumping around to different churches in the area (again) to see what the social situation is like. Yes, the proper teaching and preaching of God's inerrant word is paramount, but for me this is an important secondary issue.
I have no guidance, other than to not give up. For some reason, the Christian world is anemic in this area. So, we have to struggle to find people we can socialize with, build a support structure with, etc. But, I do believe that if you're willing to be perseverant, you will find something. Maybe the meetup group situation in your area's better than mine. Might be a place to start. If you have not, try different churches to see what they offer in terms of fellowshipping opportunities. This is how I believe I will be going.
The Christian world tells you to not fellowship with the world, but with believers. Okay. WHERE?? HOW?? It seems like most Christians are content to either live solitary lives, or go home to their wives, husbands and kids, forgetting everybody else.
For decades living in the NY/tristate area, drumming up a Christian social life was like trying to find a rare, archaeological artifact. Eventually I found something, but it took years.
One pastor in Pasadena, CA once told me that I should make friends through service within his church. Then he got stern and said that his church does not provide singles ministries. ???? What a !&!@# That was my first and last time in his church.
In most churches I've attended, people go to church, then go home. "Fellowshipping" takes place on special occasions at the church.
Some churches have small groups, which I've found helpful. But, my current church does not have these. I've considered leaving on this basis.
When I lived in L.A., it took a while, but I eventually amassed a Christian social life (this started in 2010). It was all men, but at least I had Christian buddies to go to movies with and stuff. In AZ, nothing. Been here since Oct 2019. No social life to speak of.
I've tried meetup groups in the Phoenix area, but that hasn't proven the least bit helpful (thus far). One guy in one of these groups suggested I go to such & such a meetup group for that. Thanks.
I get you sister. Just because I'm a big, terrifying lizard, doesn't mean I don't have a sensitive side, too. I am considering jumping around to different churches in the area (again) to see what the social situation is like. Yes, the proper teaching and preaching of God's inerrant word is paramount, but for me this is an important secondary issue.
I have no guidance, other than to not give up. For some reason, the Christian world is anemic in this area. So, we have to struggle to find people we can socialize with, build a support structure with, etc. But, I do believe that if you're willing to be perseverant, you will find something. Maybe the meetup group situation in your area's better than mine. Might be a place to start. If you have not, try different churches to see what they offer in terms of fellowshipping opportunities. This is how I believe I will be going.
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