Need your prayers. Just an ear to hear.

So, I've been living my single life hoping for the best in my future. In my mid 30s. Struggling with my life. Lacking self confidence in my job. You see, I've been bullied growing up. I live life with a very insecure parent. A parent who can turn abusive on me at will. I started to type this and yet as I type this I just go back to delete.

By abuse, I mean verbal abuse. Sometimes physical. She hits me. She has hit me all my life. And She has a very warped view of the world around her. I feel like she is standing in between me and my progress. A complete lack of respect to my person as a son at times.

I've been dealing with this all my life. I know definitely that I cannot marry someone and bring her home to live with me in my current home. And my situation has kept me from finding a partner.

I'm introverted.

I make the mistake of talking about my life to this parent of mine. And I pay for it with complete abuse. The pain I feel is not understood by my parent. The emotional pain is more than anything else.

I've always been with her in her lows. But those lows are not real problems. They are mostly her fears which are not true. She's delusional in her old age. Schizophrenic. Talking to people who aren't there.

So, these are some of the problems I face. It is hard. It has always been hard.

There are nights I can't sleep because of the unresolved conversations I have with her.

My parent weighs down on me and my life. She is machine like. Doing her duties. Like cooking and cleaning the house.

But she cannot understand how her actions have a negative impact with those who live with her.

I am doing my work too. But it doesn't pay as much but it's a dream that I've been working to achieve with slow success.

At times I wake up at night because of troubled dreams. At times I feel an amplified pain in my chest which sometimes even stops me from moving. It's more emotional pain than physical.

I'm putting this out here. Getting this off my chest.

No child has to suffer the way I do. I deserve to be treated better.

Because of my parent, I've lost all my friends. It's a crushing, lonely pain, which I feel. I feel depressed. I'm not ok.

Firstly, most of us have experienced being bullied in life. Unfortunately it's part of life. Secondly, most of us experience difficulties with our parents, nothing unusual about that. What's puzzling is that you say you are in your 30's. So why haven't you taken control of your life. If you are still living at home, it's time to move out. Maybe I don't understand your problem????????????????

That's similar to my advice. First thing you need to do is make sure you have sole control of your finances, then look into a new place to live. If you can afford on your own great, if not depending on where you are there might be newspaper ads for roommates, housesitters, or rent just a room from someone rather than your whole own place. I know some motels also do weekly rent a room to otherwise homeless people. Or if you have a vehicle you might even consider sleeping in that through the summer and just getting a gym membership to have showers and a place to change (at least that's what one of my friends talked about doing when homeless).

And now seems to be a great time to look for a new job if necessary, all you'd really have to do is be a diligent and reliable worker and you should be able to get and keep a job.

Whatever you do, just having a goal you're working toward is really good for lifting your mood and self confidence so set a goal and find a way to make and track your progress toward it.

Life sucks all around. That's been satan's plan since day 1. Make sure people turn against God because life sucks and sucks so badly. God warned us it would get like this, and it's going to get worse before it gets better. He says perseverance is the key - it's a war of attrition. But we know Who wins in the end, and if we stay faithful thru the sucky life we win too.

is this parent...your mum? What happened to your dad? Do you have any siblings?

Has she had any treatment for schizophrenia, been hospitalised, taking any medications etc?

I think we need to know what happened to your dad to get the full picture. Families are never easy especially when parents fall ill.

I wouldnt say moving out is a solution. You are not the one who needs asylum. You need to pray for your mum. We will pray with you...you just need to find the prayer.

Unless there's some obligation for you to stay in the home with your mother, you need to get out of there. Jesus said all those that do the will of my Father in Heaven are my brothers and sisters and mother. It's better to live alone then put up with the demeaning and ungodly environment you've described as your present home. Try to find a Christian home where you can stay and be edified.

I guess ppl dont understand that the if he left her alone she could commit suicide or something. His mum needs proper care and treatment and that all needs to be set up and the burden cant just be all on him.

Does she have a doctor or support system? Have you asked for help, like called healthline for advice?
How long has she been ill? Was there any trigger?

when people suffer pyschosis its frightening but they dont last forever people get spells of them, if they know its coming they can sort of cope with it. Its not always something a person that has it can help.

The Bible just calls it an affliction, but there is something spiritual about it that needs to be handled with prayer and fasting.

if someone has fear, it can be cast out, but she needs to accept the spirit of love or power and a SOUND mind. Thats what Jesus promises.

"I hope and pray my thoughts are not assumed as condescending or offensive.
Reaching out for prayer usually has my attention as yours did.
' The words are very troublesome and also perplexing as I only have your words on many pages
as references to observe.

' And to offer much advice through claiming of God as the source of knowledge for the
advice given to others is commendable and yet leaves the perplexing question of how is it that
God is not the source of power in your life to be better prepared to accept and better manage troublesome
family issues concerning love, acceptance and the right attitude to hopefully attain a proper decision
for peace and wellbeing for all concerned.

'I pray you come to know what is needed in your overall family life."

Your screenname Justahumanbeing, do you believe you are just a human being?

God says you are more than just a human being. He says you are a child of God, chosen for adoption, valued, desired, He is jealous for you, He sees you as redeemed, righteous, justified, and as a saint. He sees you as the Father did with the prodigal son, He sees you as being formed in His own image, He sets you above the angels.

Now who would you rather listen to? God or people? Jesus was mocked, beaten, spit on, called crazy, called the devil, and the son of a whore but He was only focused on the Father's will and the Father's love. The Apostles after being mocked, whipped, and in prison walked away praising God to of had the opportunity to suffer for Christ.

We are told we will suffer, we will face persecution, we will face trials, because as Jesus said, “ because they hated me, they will also hate you.”

What you see is the clash of the Holy Spirit in you making the unholy or demonic spirits around you uneasy. What you see is the clash between light and darkness. Good versus evil.

Walk in how God sees you! Be blessed.

It's easy for you to say to move out. I'm dependent on my family's support at this time. Sure, I'm a graduate. A master degree holder. I've juggled jobs and tried businesses. But what I do now requires funding and my family does it for me partially. I have not found someone to love in the meantime.

Yes, it's complicated. I've never been in love. Never been committed to someone. I've lived alone all my life. I don't even have women friends because I let go of people once I leave a workplace and somehow my friends have grown further away and I don't go running behind people either.

I have set goals and I have a vision in my life and I'm just moving towards that. I'm at a difficult spot. Just bringing it out among my Christian brothers and sisters. That's all. I could be the cause of my suffering in part. If I were committed or married, I could think in terms of moving out. But that hasn't happened till now. I'm praying and waiting.

Thank you for your kind words. I do have goals. I have made progress by God's grace. And what you say is in my mind and I know I'll have to do that eventually.

It's the difficulties I face in the meantime before those dreams can be realised and the waiting to see it happen while working for it.

Thank you.

My mother is a believer. But she's someone who has been deeply wronged throughout her marriage. She has sacrificed her life so that me and my brother can have a good one. Someone like her cannot understand what we're going through emotionally and what we face at work or at our school or college. On top of that, she has unreasonable expectations of her sons lives. That's how my life has been.

That's what being too religious does to someone I guess. I haven't given up my faith in God despite how the way she believes affects me. Because she wants me to see my life through her eyes.

I'm opening up a dialogue here with you all. But I know, nothing can help change the way she is. As her children we accept her and love her. That's the least we can do after the sacrifices she has made. But it isn't easy.

If God were not the source of my life, I would have died a long time back. I'm holding on to Him. I owe Jesus my life. But I thank you for your prayers and your words. Thank you

Thank you brother for your words of comfort. I did need to hear that. Our Saviour does lead us by example. Still, if I were above being human, I would not write here at all. It's because it hurts at times that I write. Because I need assurance from others who believe in my Lord Jesus as I do.

It's a never ending battle to be a Christian and I embrace my Cross just as Jesus did. But even Jesus had someone to share His burdens with while He went atop Mount Calvary even if for sometime.

Though I thank you for your words. There's no argument. I'll think about what you have said. Thank you

Thank you for your words my friend

Not all Christian homes are perfect. Mine isn't. It is a Christian home. But it isn't full of perfect people. And yes, my mother doesn't have anyone except me and my brother. So, until such time I find someone or move out, I'd be staying home. But thank you for hearing me out.

I cannot say how she would react to something. I guess with age and loneliness on her part comes the insecurity as well. My father's passed on. God rest his soul. But it was a tumultuous marriage. I don't want to go too deep. Long story short, my mother has been affected badly by it.

We as children have sought help outside and we work on it. But she has no one. Not a very sociable person with her own sense of righteousness and judgement. People are complex. Not much can be done to change all that.

No. Thankfully, she is far from suicidal. Not like that at all. But can be very abusive to those around her. And can easily find herself in a conflicting situation with others.

A Christian home is one where Christ is honoured. From your own description, that is not the case. You have made the choices you have, no one is forcing you to stay, so there's no justification for any complaint from you. It's also not right for you to look for someone to 'love' you out of your problems...you're asking them to shoulder the baggage that you oughtn't be carrying, that's not love!

Also remember it isn't that you could or need to be above human but that God sees you as more than just a mere body of flesh. And even better through His Holy Spirit we can be renewed and tap into the same mind of Jesus and the Father as the Spirit knows the mind of God. We can begin to see things through the eyes of Jesus and be influenced to live like Jesus.