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finallygettingitright

New member
#1
Jul 14, 2022
1
0
1
#1
today is my first day here. I am feeling very overwhelmed as I begin my recovery for the millionth time. I start work with my sponsor today. I went through an outpatient program 6 years ago. I called my case worker daily sobbing because I couldnt do it. I am filled with: anxiety, fear, doubt, and already want to quit. I doubt that I can do this. I'm feeling like this is my last attempt because Ive tried so many times before. It never sticks. I cannot go through these overwhelming feelings ever again. I am happily married for 20+ years. My husband is a great man. I attend CR at my local church. Yesterday, I emailed my pastor and therapist. I definately feel like I have achieved Step 1 but am terrified of climbing the mountain again. I have some very serious things going on in my family, facing losing my job, mom has undiagnosed dementia. I feel very unbalanced. Ive been a believer since 8/9/2003. I love my JESUS. I hate recovery as it is so hard. My biggest fear is facing someone that I've known for 20+ years. I have been actively drinking for the last 5 years while she thinks I have been sober. I am so afraid of telling her that I have been lying to her, even though she has been a part of CR for a long time. I know there is a step that deals with amends but when the time comes, I hope that she will forgive me. Anyhow, this is starting to turn into a book. God Bless
 
TabinRivCA

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
#2
Oct 23, 2018
12,531
10,154
113
#2
Welcome to CC and so glad to have you sharing your story with us you are very brave and sincere to do this. I've had a couple addictions and it took many setbacks before I had totally made up my mind that these habits were holding me back. Looking at my addictions from a health pov I had to admit I would be in real trouble soon. Alcohol esp hard liquor can be very damaging in many ways, look it up, I did on my stuff and also asked the Lord for help, and He got me out in a way so cool.
Check out the other Forums, if you post there you will get more views. God bless you and your family finallygettingitright and I'm sure you'll get there💛
 
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ChristianTonyB

Guest
#4
#4
Welcome FGR. Thank you for your graciousness in sharing your situation with us. All of us have had to deal with something that has kept on biting at our heels, so we have some idea of how you feel. You'll get a lot of understanding and encouragement here. 🙂
 
oyster67

oyster67

Senior Member
#5
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,705
113
#5
Welcome, dear sister FGR.

I will pray for you. We can pray together.

Luke 1:37
“For with God nothing shall be impossible.”

He loves you and has a wonderful plan for your future. (y)
 
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