Do opposites really attract?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,178
113
#1
as the saying goes
Not just for 'opposite sex' but would that mean in things like personality and character as well?

So I was thinking who would be my opposite?
someone who is loud, extroverted, analytical, super neat, judgemental? They would need to be dyslexic but also athletic and musical

and we would never agree on anything
they would use tonnes of plastic bags and eat everything that I wouldnt eat, and cut down all the trees I plant to burn them. How would that even work?!
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
12,425
10,091
113
#2
Yeah, I rather think that saying is outdated, lol. Complimenting each other is cool but being at odds with the person sounds like a pain. The best advise of course is to be equally yoked (as Christians) and talking from experience that's the ideal marriage. Then be involved in Christian activities ie zoom groups and YT chat rooms. I know at least 2 couples who met on YT and FB chat rooms, one being my son.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,178
113
#3
I cant be bothered. Im not talking about marriage just in general.

I already have many friends , though not all the SAME as me, at least like minded in some things so that we get along. Otherwise it would be aggravating just spending any time with them!

who wants to be around someone who just opposes everything you do, say, or think? Doesnt sound attractive to me at all
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
12,425
10,091
113
#4
I've been married twice, both departed, and my son's dad kind of a vagabond. So I think I assume most singles would like to be married with children, lol. Glad to know you have many friends.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,178
113
#5
please dont assume

obviouly married people like to be married, otherwise they wouldnt have married. I dont tell them they would be better off single.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,178
113
#6
I remember a flatmate said of her ex that he always liked to open the windows and she would freeze

while she liked it warm he would think it was too hot

they could never live together like that, or at least, not in the same room!
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,178
113
#7
Maybe she could have just worn more clothes, I dunno.
I wasnt there, I dont know what it was like. They would have probably argued over who's house it was and who's window.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,022
8,221
113
#8
Do opposites attract? Depends on which aspects are opposite.

My best friend is married to somebody who is about as opposite in temperament as you can be. He's laconic and she's energetic. He doesn't talk much and she's the public interface for them both. He is reserved and she wears her heart on her sleeve.

They work well together because each is good at the things the other sucks at.

They are alike in world view though. They are both about the best people you'll ever meet.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#9
Do opposites attract? Depends on which aspects are opposite.

My best friend is married to somebody who is about as opposite in temperament as you can be. He's laconic and she's energetic. He doesn't talk much and she's the public interface for them both. He is reserved and she wears her heart on her sleeve.

They work well together because each is good at the things the other sucks at.

They are alike in world view though. They are both about the best people you'll ever meet.
You kinda described my parents in a nutshell. They were the opposites but Id never seen two people who had a happier marriage up close than my own parents.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,178
113
#10
I suppose I was thinking like ying and yang would be harmonious but 'opposite' implies it would be more opposing than complementary.

eg theres such a thing as 'oppositional defiance disorder' lol

so couples that are like
night and day
chalk and cheese
Oil and water
while they might APPEAR to get along, I dont think they really do. Wouldnt they repel each other or rub each other the wrong way? Arent you supposed to find common ground, or is it you must celebrate your differrences, so that, the more arguments you have, the better you are? (at arguing!) and the more mixed up your children will be haha
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,178
113
#11
Romeo and Juliet

Loved each other so much while their families scrapped, they died in each others arms. awww

I dunno. when I saw West Side Story, I just thought well he killed her brother, so, maybe Juliets/Maria nurse or whoever it was was right that she should stick to her own kind, whatever that was.

Also it could have been a ploy, though Romeo/Tony wasnt actually really part of that gang to begin with. When I read the Shakespeare play at 14 I just thought it was a bunch of teenage hormones and they were too young to think about what they were doing anyway.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,178
113
#12
Also Maria/Juliet was lucky in that she didnt become a gang moll...but the reality would have been she would have been gang raped or become a mule if they were seriously in gangs. She would have got a tattoo, and gone over to the other side. Cos thats what actually happens in real life.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
8,295
3,438
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#13
Good Q!

Good points.

It probably depends on a lot of things to a lot of different people.

Me. Im attracted to some who have the same values and beliefs, because that's important to me. Many other things can be different..
I'm very masculine by today's standards so I prefer those who are very feminine.
The one exception might be Elly May Clampett.

 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,178
113
#14
I dont do youtube videos
but what do you actually mean by 'very masculine' or 'very feminine'

so what happens if you are neither do you just put 'non binary' as people do nowadays?

I thought if things like electro magnets or just ordinary magnets...but magnets arent actually great together. Magnets tend to stick to magnetic surfaces like metal they are not meant to be together as thats what we use them for.

eg you wouldnt magnetise a fridge or make it out of magnets, but you would stick magnets ON it.


cos magnets arent actually meant to be stuck together. However, some people hate magnets, I found out theres a small percentage of people that never stick anything on their fridges at all cos it ruins their look of stainless steel.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
8,295
3,438
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#15
I dont do youtube videos
but what do you actually mean by 'very masculine' or 'very feminine'

so what happens if you are neither do you just put 'non binary' as people do nowadays?

I thought if things like electro magnets or just ordinary magnets...but magnets arent actually great together. Magnets tend to stick to magnetic surfaces like metal they are not meant to be together as thats what we use them for.

eg you wouldnt magnetise a fridge or make it out of magnets, but you would stick magnets ON it.


cos magnets arent actually meant to be stuck together. However, some people hate magnets, I found out theres a small percentage of people that never stick anything on their fridges at all cos it ruins their look of stainless steel.
The Beverly Hillbillies scene is my sense of humor. I used to like the reruns of the Beverly Hillbillies as a boy. My friends knew that I "wanted to marry Elly May" 😉 because we had so much in common. It was just an inside joke to those who knew my fondness of outdoor activities and critters. BTW, the actress actually was somewhat like her character. She took her money from that role and started a zoo. I was offered the same locally and in Cleveland Ohio, but I digress. Now I'm into other interests.
I'm not arguing about your point about the magnet analogy. That is often true, as someone already described the complimentary benefits, which was a good point. Certainly that goes beyond the physical analogy.

As to masculine/ feminine personalities and roles, that's lost on the media and Americans pop culture. It's gone past androgeny to sissified soy boys and butch gals. When I open my school back up, Lord willing, I will teach the boys what it means to be a man according to God's Word. They don't get that at gt schools any more than the girls.
I could give you a list, but my break is about over. I'm not talking "macho". I'm talking about .........
.
.
.
.
.
(To be continued)
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,178
113
#16
oh ok maybe you can start another thread on it

not sure about americans, they seem to be confused about who they are lol.
I just thought well is probably due to the war which killed a lot of men off.

I guess ppl didnt think ahead too much what the consequences of that would be for the worlds population.
 

G00WZ

Senior Member
May 16, 2014
1,313
448
83
38
#17
They say that "I" personality types are supposed to pair well with "E" personality types. I don't think i would like a complete opposite or a female clone.
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
11,917
8,236
113
#19
I would think complete opposites would constantly be arguing and would be unable to agree on anything.
Too similar would probably be boring and predictable.
A bit of both would be the best outcome and in the exact areas that you want would be ideal.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,178
113
#20
What about the other thing where, you attract MORE than one person. How do you decide which one is the best or do you take them both, or do you go with the first one and then when you get tired of them, drop them and go with the other?

Or maybe you say to them, I like all of you, come be in my harem. I dont know what women have...,herems?