"Baby, Don't Hurt Me No More"

We've all probably heard the song 'What is Love' by Haddaway:

What is love?
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more

The NT Greek graciously reminds us that there are different types of love with the words 'storge' (familial love), 'phileo' (brotherly/peer love), 'eros' (sexual love), and 'agapao' (God's love, the God-kind of love). While there are more types of love than the four listed in Greek, it's good to be reminded that 'love' means different things at different times and for different things.

Haddaway had some insight into what the sum definition of love is: "Don't hurt me." Romans 13:10 summarizes love the same way: "Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfillment of the Law."

In 1John, John talks in depth about love. He defines 'hate' as the opposite of love but then defines 'hate' as 'apathy' and 'indifference' toward others, stating that believers who are passive or indifferent about showing their brethren love are guilty of 'hate'. This makes sense when you consider that people can hurt people not only through active actions of hostility but also through inaction and indifference.

The Bible has a lot to say about love. Is love meeting fellow christians in church once a week, smiling and saying and doing the right things, feeding the homeless, doing neighborhood evangelism, and going overseas to minister to others? When the NT talks about love, what kind of love is it primarily talking about, and how does a believer fulfill the command to love?

1 Corinthians 7-4-8a

Romans 13:10

I voted for three parts: good intentions, righteous actions, and obeying God’s commands due to what I read in Romans 12. From what I see, I don’t it’s possible to truly love our neighbor and God the way the Bible says without sincere intentions.

Romans 12:9-21
9Love must be sincere. Detest what is evil; cling to what is good.
10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Outdo yourselves in honoring one another.
11Do not let your zeal subside; keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, persistent in prayer.
13Share with the saints who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse.
15Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.
16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but enjoy the company of the lowly. Do not be conceited.
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Carefully consider what is right in the eyes of everybody.
18If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone.
19Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, says the Lord.”
20On the contrary,
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him a drink.
For in so doing, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

To love is to become more like Jesus who was God incarnate and Scripture says that God is love in His very essence. So to understand true love we must look to the source of true love.

Agape is both intentions and actions. (Obedience is essentially the same idea as actions) Do good deeds without right intentions and that is not love. Have only intentions but refuse to act on them and that is not love.

Having said the above, it is possible to have love and have good intentions, but then because of circumstances be unable to follow up on the good intentions: but that would still be agape.

1 John 4:8b~ God is Love

babies only hurt people when they are being born and get stuck in the birth canal....

I would say that true love is that which does not require any immediate reciprocation. It endures all things.


1 Corinthians 13:7
“Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”


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I have learned how much we lack in understanding about that, we have being seeing a lot of people loving to be love or to get something back and when we look at the scriptures and how much Jesus Christ loved all of them even knowing that Judas was about to betray him for money and knowing that Peter would deny him , Jesus was not expecting anything back , he was there to show them and teach them how to love like he loved us and he gave us this commandment as the 2nd more important after love him above all things with all our lives and heart and strength. And lately I experienced a lot of betrayal from people that I trust the most ( like family and friends ) and the Lord is helping to learn how to love the way he want me to love and when we humble ourselves and let it go ( specially when we are right ) that shows how much we are growing in his way of love . It’s not about us being wrong or right but about us obeying, specially when our flesh Doesn’t want us to obey . I believe when we obey , the righteousness actions and intentions are the fruits of our obedience to the Lords commandments, and in the last 2 years the Lord was telling me to meditate on Hosea ( he married a prostitute, and she was always leaving him and going after others and his obedience to the Lord to marry her and always go after her , and love and forgive and take care of her , I had a hard time imagining me in his shoes and I told the Lord that , and the Lord has being molding my heart and teaching me that when we give ourselves to others and sacrifice ourselves to others , and do everything expecting nothing back , automatically we feel peace inside knowing that we are doing for the Lord all those things and to bring glory to his name and to experience his suffering, for loving us when we didn’t want to love him back . And all that has just been processing in my heart and mind . And he also reminded me Job that even losing everything and his wife asking him to curse God and die and seeing his skin full of sickness and his friends accusing him , judging him and condemning him , even with all that he prayed and keep his faith and while he was praying for his “ friends “ God opened his eyes to see in truly.
All our suffering can be difficult and painful and devastating sometimes but we have a God that’s with us and will help us to have our eyes open and will use all this suffering to cooperate with his purpose. May the lord help us to learn this unconditionally Love on reality and to practice that every day with his powerful Holy Spirit in us . may the Lord help us to love him and love one another without expecting anything back just with the right heart , knowing that everything we are doing is to please God and be like him . 🙏🏻

That's a hard one. The things you said about love are the apex of love.

I feel terrible for Hosea too. I bet he was glad when he died and that was over.

Amen! Excellent insight and application of Hosea and Job. It is exciting when the Spirit allows us to see these things.

Godspeed and God bless.


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Yes, but I believe that his obedience to the Lord was rewarded with inner peace and comfort despite circumstances. Even though I am single, I feel the love and friendship of Jesus.

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“how does a believer fulfill the command to love?”

Forst you look at Jesus as he presented himself in the gospel you hear his word and let it into the faith compartment in your mind and heart knowing “ this is my lord he’s right about this “ and you look at the cross and what he did for us ……and then you look at the people around you and see what love is desperately needed in our world and you begin to grasp hat love is what we actually do , and not that warm fuzzy Feeling we get bit the feeling motives us to actually love

“Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him.”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭3:16-19‬ ‭

Mans love is alot of tongue and word and feeling and “I would do anything for you “ Gods love is telling us I love you and I layed down my life to save your life , I suffered and was accused and mocked beaten and whipped I was nailed to a cross because you needed my love to save you

Jesus love acts d impacts others fornthe Will of God and the sharing of the gospel in earth

real love is action. And so Christian’s hear and follow the lords command ( Jesus not Moses )

Moses actually was saying “ don’t do this “ don’t do this “ don’t do this “

he’s telling us how to not sin or else , Jesus is who teaches us what to do and how to treat others is the subject matter of the gospel in the end his commands are how we are to love each other

we are not to harm each other

“For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭13:9-10‬ ‭KJV‬‬

notice keeping the law doesn’t fulfill love , but loving fulfills the law ? If I don’t kill you or steal from you it doesn’t mean I love you , but if I kill you or steal from you it means I’m not loving you the law is for the rebellious nite all about “ don’t do this or that thing or you will sorely be killed “

The New Testament is Jesus teaching us how to love as he loves us no acted when we needed him . We love ourself with actions we get hungry we get ourself food , thirsty we get a drink , need clothing we get clothes we meet our needs because we love ourself we don’t just say I love me , we take care of ourself meet our needs

we’re supposed to treat others the same way when we see a need we can meet we’re supposed to act on it that’s Gods love

“By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.

For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.”
‭‭1 John‬ ‭5:2-4‬ ‭

Amem 🙏🏻 Exactly- faith , love and obedience comes all together and the Hs help us to walk like Jesus

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation:

but be of good cheer;

I have overcome the world.”
‭‭John‬ ‭16:33‬ ‭

“Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:11-12‬ ‭KJV‬‬

“confirming the souls of the disciples, and exhorting them to continue in the faith, and that we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God.”
‭‭Acts‬ ‭14:22‬ ‭KJV‬‬

human suffering in all forms covers the earth emotional , physical , spiritual this world holds a lot of tribulation for Christian’s it’s a promise of Christ that in this world we will go through tough times sometimes but the message is about what comes after this fading and dying corrupt and evil world that isn’t for Christian’s

we can if we’re looking at the gospel , be joyful in those times when everything in The world seems to be saying “ get down , lose hope , why would God allow this tribulation ?lose heart lose faith in what Jesus said he’s got for you after this place “

if we are too focused on our place on the world or our relationships in the world or our problems and sufferings in the world , we need to look into the promises of Christ for the thkngs he’s said are waiting for us one thing bout faith is this

“and others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonment: they were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented; (of whom the world was not worthy they wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.

And these all, having obtained a good report through faith, received not the promise: God having provided some better thing for us, that they without us should not be made perfect.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:36-40‬ ‭KJV‬‬

we’re going to have a lot of hardships on earth especially if we are Christian’s following the gospel it does t die into the ways of our world and offends people who don’t believe this has always produced persecution for Gods people because there are so many who aren’t of God in the world

if we go through terribly hard times on earth it’s part of sharing the sufferings of Christ and whatever we suffer in this world , there’s no comparison to an eternal world ere peace and love and grace and righteousness reign forever when God will walk among us

part of our journey is to walk through this corrupt and evil world we are going g to sometimes face a lot of rejection and resistance obstacles and even times of sorrow and suffering loneliness me are even physically harmed it’s part of living on a corrupt earth

The suffering helps us

“But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.”
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:10‬ ‭KJV‬‬

we in Christ have to expect that this world isn’t going to treat us any better than they did Jesus because his spirit is what’s leading us through the world this world is not kind and not paradise for Christian’s but a refiners fire d a fullers soap to burn out the chaff and increase the yield of harvest

mankknd was chosen for a cleansing from a furnace of affliction which shapes and forms us as we persevere

“Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭48

a refiners fire takes dirty and umpire metal and through the process of heating it to its limit , the stress makes the impurities burn away and the metal is reformed in a life state having all the impurity removed through the testing of the fire

“Behold, I will send my messenger, and he shall prepare the way before me: and the Lord, whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple, even the messenger of the covenant, whom ye delight in: behold, he shall come, saith the LORD of hosts. But who may abide the day of his coming? and who shall stand when he appeareth? for he is like a refiner's fire, and like fullers' soap:”
‭‭Malachi‬ ‭3:1-2‬ ‭KJV‬‬

when Christian’s suffer , it’s testing and making them stronger in faith as they keep thier eyes on the prize and endure

hard times are really hard In All thier forms , but the promises of Jesus outshine then all like the sun tested against an iceberg the promises of Christ have risen and he is calling us into another better place after we pass through the fires

Well said. You can do no harm to someone and it doesn't mean you love them. But if you do love someone you will do no harm to them.

Paul spent a lot of time trying to explain Law vs. Grace that way. It's simple but hard to understand without the Holy Spirit unfolding it and making it understandable. I included 'obedience to God' in my poll here about what biblical love is. Biblica love is primarily 'obedience to God' as the Bible says.

“Well said. You can do no harm to someone and it doesn't mean you love them. But if you do love someone you will do no harm to them.”

you said it much more clearly I tend to struggle with concise statements, but exactly

“Paul spent a lot of time trying to explain Law vs. Grace that way. It's simple but hard to understand without the Holy Spirit unfolding it and making it understandable.”

yes and often people look for just a verse of what Paul was saying and remove it from context trying to erase what he was really saying and explaining

to really understand paul and the apostles we need to hear the gospel first so you have a foundation which is the gospel Jesus preached

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.”
‭‭John‬ ‭5:24‬ ‭KJV‬‬

and one more example

“It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.”
‭‭John‬ ‭6:63‬ ‭

so then the apostles are writing based upon what Jesus already said not removing what he said but speaking from what he’s already said

“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.

For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:1-2, 5-6, 9‬ ‭

the pet that changes our mind from carnal to spiritual is the gospel word of Christ this word

“the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.”


The word that sets us free from The law of sin

“Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.”
‭‭John‬ ‭8:31-32, 34, 36‬ ‭KJV‬‬

all Of pauls creative language and descriptive writing is based on explaining what Jesus was saying in more detail tonthe church yet wards after the spirit was given like the above verse there jesusnis saying “ if you really keep My word your my disciples and you will Know the truth and be made free “

Paul writes about this afterwards

“Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭6:16-18‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Paul’s saying you believe the gospel and are walking after the gospel word since then you have been made free from the law of sin that lived inside of you “ this law of sin we can be free from

“I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: but I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭7:21-23‬ ‭KJV‬‬

so that rather than a struggle between good and evil we can just freely follow the good in the lords word and let go of the sin we used to be enslaved by

Jesus doctrine goes straight to a bekievers heart and has a massive impact on our character and beliefs which truly guide us

Paul and all the apostles wrote to help us understand what Jesus taught them in the gospel and revealed to them later through the spirit being given thier rike was to further make known how the gospel works and applies To us how it saves us