Why is parenting so difficult? My mother says I'm a horrible mom.

My 4 year old son is one of the most difficult kids I've ever been around. Keeping in mind I work in special education so I work with kids who have behavior needs. Behavior strategies generally work well at work. However they do not work for my son. Mainly bc he knows the right way to behave but chooses not to and takes any consequence with a sly smile. It's not just me either. I heard a teacher at church talking to him in a kind "motherly" voice and I thought oh man... he'll never listen to her. I was right. They came to get me. I wish I could be a mother like that and never yell, but my kid treats them like push overs. Hence my mother...

My mother will watch 1/2 kids at a time bc she says she can only handle 1 at a time. She once watched both of them for 3 hours on my anniversary and I had to hear about it for weeks after from both her and my dad.

Today we went over to my parents for dinner. It was pizza (typical kid approved dinner). To describe my child as a picky eater is an understatement. He use to throw up at every meal particularly if it was a new food (even normal kid foods.) I had to deal with this at every meal until I finally snapped and screamed "Don't even think about it!!" And yelled when he gagged. Fast forward to today and I found the smallest piece of pizza and told him he needed to eat it. He ate a few bites after a half hour and left 1 piece at the end to which my other son knocked on the floor. I yelled "we're leaving now. " he immediately ran to my mother to manipulate her and threw a tantrum.

On my way home I got a text from my mother saying " I will never have you over for dinner. You are horrible." Then talking about how she is sick.... blah blah all about her. I deal with his food issues every. Single. Day. I don't even want to go anywhere with food and him bc it's horrible.

It just makes me feel like such a terrible mother and I don't even think I'm wrong. Most parents force their kids to eat vegetables and I just want him to eat normal food.

Why is parenting so hard? Why do parents forget what it's like being a parent?

Wow. Lots of things happening there. Thank you for sharing . . . I enjoyed your easy-to-understand writing style.

Why is parenting so hard? Probably for some of the same reasons that marriage is hard . . . no one thinks EXACTLY the way we do as individuals. We're all so different down to the finest of details. It isn't always easy having ideal relationships with people when we don't agree.

Much more could be said, but I thought I'd at least reach out and say thank you for sharing your heartfelt message.

I understand what you are growing through. I have a picky eater at my house too. A few bites of pizza v no food is a win. You provided the food. You did your job.
I used to get anxiety taking my picky eater out to dine anywhere. I know its hard to watch and I tried dont leave the table til you eat way and the praise the little steps way. Its exhausting isnt it.
But it gets better because a few years later and she is eating and trying so much more. I didnt want to get her tested because I thought it might get worse if she was given a reason why she was a picky eater.
Some ideas I tried that were successful was getting them involved in the meal prep/cooking. Also eating normally at the table, talking about the day while you eat to distract the child from forming a negative thought about the dinner.
I will say a prayer for your son. All the best, it takes time and Im sure others will give you their tips too Just know that you are doing your best with what you know and that its hard but its worth it

What do your kids like to eat? Why is one of your children throwing up, is it on purpose or he can't help it?

I am not a parent but I would try:
1) Eat this or you go without dinner.
2) Give an easy alternative if he doesn't like the main meals (like PBJ or egg sandwich, etc.)
3) If your child is leaving food on the plate, feed him less next time.

Just like adults, kids have to want to eat healthy. Growing up I hated onions (well into teenage years) and I would pick them out of all my foods. However, now I don't cook without them.

Thank you, yes I try all of that. I just wish I had support from my extended family for something so small. Feel like I can't even go out to eat anymore as well.

Nice to know it got better for you. Hopefully that happens for us.

My 4 year old son is one of the most difficult kids I've ever been around. Keeping in mind I work in special education so I work with kids who have behavior needs. Behavior strategies generally work well at work. However they do not work for my son. Mainly bc he knows the right way to behave but chooses not to and takes any consequence with a sly smile. It's not just me either. I heard a teacher at church talking to him in a kind "motherly" voice and I thought oh man... he'll never listen to her. I was right. They came to get me. I wish I could be a mother like that and never yell, but my kid treats them like push overs. Hence my mother...

My mother will watch 1/2 kids at a time bc she says she can only handle 1 at a time. She once watched both of them for 3 hours on my anniversary and I had to hear about it for weeks after from both her and my dad.

Today we went over to my parents for dinner. It was pizza (typical kid approved dinner). To describe my child as a picky eater is an understatement. He use to throw up at every meal particularly if it was a new food (even normal kid foods.) I had to deal with this at every meal until I finally snapped and screamed "Don't even think about it!!" And yelled when he gagged. Fast forward to today and I found the smallest piece of pizza and told him he needed to eat it. He ate a few bites after a half hour and left 1 piece at the end to which my other son knocked on the floor. I yelled "we're leaving now. " he immediately ran to my mother to manipulate her and threw a tantrum.

On my way home I got a text from my mother saying " I will never have you over for dinner. You are horrible." Then talking about how she is sick.... blah blah all about her. I deal with his food issues every. Single. Day. I don't even want to go anywhere with food and him bc it's horrible.

It just makes me feel like such a terrible mother and I don't even think I'm wrong. Most parents force their kids to eat vegetables and I just want him to eat normal food.

Why is parenting so hard? Why do parents forget what it's like being a parent?

My 4 year old son is one of the most difficult kids I've ever been around. Keeping in mind I work in special education so I work with kids who have behavior needs. Behavior strategies generally work well at work. However they do not work for my son. Mainly bc he knows the right way to behave but chooses not to and takes any consequence with a sly smile. It's not just me either. I heard a teacher at church talking to him in a kind "motherly" voice and I thought oh man... he'll never listen to her. I was right. They came to get me. I wish I could be a mother like that and never yell, but my kid treats them like push overs. Hence my mother...

My mother will watch 1/2 kids at a time bc she says she can only handle 1 at a time. She once watched both of them for 3 hours on my anniversary and I had to hear about it for weeks after from both her and my dad.

Today we went over to my parents for dinner. It was pizza (typical kid approved dinner). To describe my child as a picky eater is an understatement. He use to throw up at every meal particularly if it was a new food (even normal kid foods.) I had to deal with this at every meal until I finally snapped and screamed "Don't even think about it!!" And yelled when he gagged. Fast forward to today and I found the smallest piece of pizza and told him he needed to eat it. He ate a few bites after a half hour and left 1 piece at the end to which my other son knocked on the floor. I yelled "we're leaving now. " he immediately ran to my mother to manipulate her and threw a tantrum.

On my way home I got a text from my mother saying " I will never have you over for dinner. You are horrible." Then talking about how she is sick.... blah blah all about her. I deal with his food issues every. Single. Day. I don't even want to go anywhere with food and him bc it's horrible.

It just makes me feel like such a terrible mother and I don't even think I'm wrong. Most parents force their kids to eat vegetables and I just want him to eat normal food.

Why is parenting so hard? Why do parents forget what it's like being a parent?

My 4 year old son is one of the most difficult kids I've ever been around. Keeping in mind I work in special education so I work with kids who have behavior needs. Behavior strategies generally work well at work. However they do not work for my son. Mainly bc he knows the right way to behave but chooses not to and takes any consequence with a sly smile. It's not just me either. I heard a teacher at church talking to him in a kind "motherly" voice and I thought oh man... he'll never listen to her. I was right. They came to get me. I wish I could be a mother like that and never yell, but my kid treats them like push overs. Hence my mother...

My mother will watch 1/2 kids at a time bc she says she can only handle 1 at a time. She once watched both of them for 3 hours on my anniversary and I had to hear about it for weeks after from both her and my dad.

Today we went over to my parents for dinner. It was pizza (typical kid approved dinner). To describe my child as a picky eater is an understatement. He use to throw up at every meal particularly if it was a new food (even normal kid foods.) I had to deal with this at every meal until I finally snapped and screamed "Don't even think about it!!" And yelled when he gagged. Fast forward to today and I found the smallest piece of pizza and told him he needed to eat it. He ate a few bites after a half hour and left 1 piece at the end to which my other son knocked on the floor. I yelled "we're leaving now. " he immediately ran to my mother to manipulate her and threw a tantrum.

On my way home I got a text from my mother saying " I will never have you over for dinner. You are horrible." Then talking about how she is sick.... blah blah all about her. I deal with his food issues every. Single. Day. I don't even want to go anywhere with food and him bc it's horrible.

It just makes me feel like such a terrible mother and I don't even think I'm wrong. Most parents force their kids to eat vegetables and I just want him to eat normal food.

Why is parenting so hard? Why do parents forget what it's like being a parent?

Why is parenting so hard? Why do parents forget what it's like being a parent?

I'm not a parent, but I just remember my experiences from being parented decades ago. The way my father put it was "you'll eat what you're given. If you don't eat you go hungry." It was as simple as that and it wasn't flexible. I would literally have an empty belly for as long as I chose to not eat what I was given. A person, a child no less, can only go hungry so many days before they aren't such a picky eater anymore.