What annoys me about people telling single Christians about dating

Wow. You are trying too hard. Stop dating and get married already. Meet a woman tell her you are tired of games. You just want to have a good wife. Exchange disclosure statements read them and if the core values fit get married.

Their hearts are in the wrong place because it has to be Jesus that is keeping you from sin, not your wife, or your kids. It's just like your earned wages should not be what is stopping you from selling drugs, or prostituting yourself, or robbing a bank. Take note that "to avoid fornication" is only rendered that way in the KJV. As if fornication is some atom-bomb coming at you, and you run to the marriage bomb-shellter to avoid getting blown away- no. That's not a correct understanding.

With respect to church "dating rules" it is hit and miss. Some are smart, and others are actually counter productive. Some of the things you seem to take issue with are biblical- while others are not. If a rule is there to help you make sober judgements,, it's probably a good rule. If it's there to control and make judgements for you; it's probably not.

Yet it is a proven sociological fact that people who have gainful employment are by a large margin less likely to commit crimes.
So its natural human nature to seek security in natural needs. Seems like that is how God made us. Even the Bible say " dont despise a man who steals for food."
It is good Godly reasoning to seek the healthy way to fulfill needs and that subsequently the unhealthy way becomes unnecessary.

The purity movement was NOT biblical. Paul was very clear, it is marriage that keeps many from fornication.

Did you read what I posted? I said I was out there looking and got nowhere, as if GOD's hand kept getting in the way.

I think he's trying.

Getting married doesn't guarantee that a man won't be temped to look at porn or find girls on tinder. Married men have to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling, too, but a good marriage (including the sexual component of such a marriage) helps reduce temptation.

Uncommon, perhaps. Not unique, though. It's not hard for me to find people in or out of church with a negative attitude about singles or themselves being single.

I gave up on meeting any woman at Calvary Chapel, when they got so deep into the purity movement they made physical contact before marriage a sin. Any woman going along with that I wasn't interested in.

I am not exactly where the boundaries are of the purity movement, but did part of it teach marrying young to prevent fornication... but they also had... or have a lot of restrictions on dating. I was overseas when 'purity movement' became a saying, I think.

Do you care about looks? If not, I might have some women to set you up with?

(Just kidding.)

My memory is kind of fuzzy on this, but aren't you a cessationist, and CC is Charismatic?

The purity movement push being a virgin before marriage as their goal. Where does that put the person who has already had sex or is divorced? It was always stressed for the women and not the men.

I agree with the sociological facts, and human nature- but that's not the point, is it? We're not sanctified by natural means. A horse is a false hope for victory.

There has to be mutual attraction. Something I found funny with some Christians. They would ask me, "Why should looks matter?" I would tell them, ok, let me tell your wife you didn't marry her for her looks" They stopped me from doing that. LOL

I went to Calvary Chapel for many years. Taught a Sunday School class there. I enjoyed Pastor Chuck's teaching, but hated when they went into the purity movement. It really destroyed the singles group.

In the Old Testament, if a foreign nation picked a fight with Israel, a distant nation not one of the seven nations they could not intermarry with, and Israel defeated them, they could bring back virgins as slaves. If a man saw a __beautiful__ woman among the slaves, he could marry her after mourning rituals were completed.

The Hebrew word for 'beautiful' does not have to just be about looks, but I think it is a component.

I wanted a pretty one. If I'd have been single until now, I don't think I could marry a stout individual who is showing one's age....like myself. A woman would have to be younger and prettier than I am to be interested. I am glad my wife has kept a youthful appearance and form, amazingly. I went to her high school reunion a few years back in Indonesia, and this woman I met for the first time said to me in Indonesian, "I used to be pretty" or something like that. She'd been talking to my wife about how young she looked. Looks were important to me, but I didn't want to give up other requirements-- virginity, character, etc.-- when I was looking to get looks. It would probably be better to compromise on the looks than that.

If you focus a bit less on looks, though, it might be easier to find a wife.

They say people end up fairly evenly matched for looks. I can't tell if a man is good-looking. I couldn't tell if I was good-looking. My mom told me I was, so I guess I was. She said I was about as good looking as Courtney Cox-- that was back when she was young. That was encouraging...but it was my mom. A friend of mine said when we were young, I was on par with looks with my wife. He didn't say about now, and I didn't ask. She hasn't shown her age much.

Apart from Jesus is Lord. There arent any guarantees in this life and world.

Thats because Calvary Chapel is folks playing at church.

Your not sanctified by drinking water but If you don't you will die within a couple of days.
What is needful for life in this world is necessary for a sanctified life. So every human has needs those needs if fulfilled in a healthy manner are good for life and life of living is good for a sanctified life.

Sometimes it's knowing GOD is leading you in a way you have nothing but a hatred for. At one point I know GOD spoke to me and said, until she comes into your life. you will hate this every step of the way.