Hello all, i am new to CC and In my haste i posted a brief version of my testimony in the introduction thread where somebody suggested i share it here so i have decided to do so. I will briefly explain the life i have led and go on to share how God lifted the deception from my eyes and turned my whole world view around after a lifetime of atheism and mocking and scoffing. This post may be quite long so thank you in advance to anyone who spends the time reading it...
I was born in 1987 in the West Midlands, UK, to unmarried teenage parents. My mother was devoted and loving whilst my dad was a violent drug abusing criminal who was in and out of juvinile detention and therefore not around all too often. When he was around my young eyes were subjected to watching him beat my mom sensless and i have many memories from as far back as the age of 2!! I remember many incidents clearly of which the majority are bad. My mother and i would move addresses in an attempt to escape him but he would often soon find us. We even lived in a womens refuge that was at the back of a church and i remember looking through the fence at a large statue of Christ on the cross that was visible and being frightened of it. Eventually we moved into another flat and were soon found by my dad. I was around 4 years old and many nights were spent sat in silence in the dark so he would think nobody was home should he turn up. One day my auntie was visiting with her friend who, even to this day, is a well known hardman in our town. As it would happen, on this day my dad turned up at our door with his usual violent nature on display but unbeknownst to him this day would be different. My aunts friend came out to him and made short work of him and held him over some railings with some stern words. That would be the last time my mom ever saw my dad and i wouldn't see him again until i was around 27.
My mom soon met a man who seemed very kind and caring and was brilliant with me. He lived on the floor below us and would be working on cars outside and would always make kind and fun interactions with me as my mom was taking me to my grandparents home or to and from school. My mom was now around 21 and this man was 12 years her senior, they began a relationship and things were looking up. She had been a single parent and was absolutely vulnerable after the years of abuse suffered at the hands of my dad and this new man was like a knight in shining armour. For the first time my mom began to feel a sense of security and i seemed to have a decent father figure in my life. Not long after my mom fell pregnant and they soon got married and we moved from the flats into a house quite a disance from my moms family. My younger half brother was born and i had started a new school in this new area but things began to change. My new stepdad was no longer loving towards me but degrading and oppressive. I often stayed at my grandparents on a weekend but when it was time to go home i had sufdenly bean to cry and not want to go home. Clearly something was not right at home. My stepdad soon put banned me from staying with my grandparents altogether and years of emotional abuse ensued.
My mom fell pregnant another 3 times and was slowly manipulated and shaped into the person he wanted her to be.
Needless to say i was a very unhappy child. As the years went by i began to develop strange symptoms that i didn't understand and was a very nervous child. I suffered alone with these symptoms for years despite my folks being made fully aware of them and witnessing my compulsive behaviour first hand. When i got older my mom apologised to me for not taking me to a doctor and explained that my stepdad wouldn't allow it as the truth of how i was treated would have been discovered. By this point though i was an utter mess and the damage was done. I don't blame my mom however as she was also abused and held like a prisoner by this man.
Anyway, by the age of 14 i had began finding solace out on the streets and starting smoking and eventually started getting high. Taking large numbers of ecstasy pills by age 15 i was a very misguided child. I even attended my french written GCSE exam under the influence of ecstasy. I now felt i had things to cheer me up and was intent on using anything and everything. I had used most drugs and was doing crack and heroin by the age of 17. These things were cool to me and gave me purpose and something to look forward to. They gave me a temporary escape.
Thruought all of these years i had recieved no real parental guidance and was never encouraged to better myself. I enrolled in college after school but was soon made to quit just months in and get a job by my stepdad. It didn't bother me too much however as i could now buy more drugs with my wages. The only real guidance i recieved was from the state at school and as evolution is what they taught us that is what i believed in and it was firmly implanted in my mind. I truly believed that basic science disproved the existence of God and anyone who believed in a creator was a nutter who denies basic scientific discovery! I was a mocker and a scoffer to the fullest and there was absolutely no way i could begin to believe God existed. In fact i can remember being kind of envious of people who truly believed in God as i thought it would be nice to be able to comfort oneself with the belief in a loving God whether or not it was nonsense. It truly was impossible for me to believe in God though as i was utterly misguided and decieved.
(I will continue this in a following post)
I was born in 1987 in the West Midlands, UK, to unmarried teenage parents. My mother was devoted and loving whilst my dad was a violent drug abusing criminal who was in and out of juvinile detention and therefore not around all too often. When he was around my young eyes were subjected to watching him beat my mom sensless and i have many memories from as far back as the age of 2!! I remember many incidents clearly of which the majority are bad. My mother and i would move addresses in an attempt to escape him but he would often soon find us. We even lived in a womens refuge that was at the back of a church and i remember looking through the fence at a large statue of Christ on the cross that was visible and being frightened of it. Eventually we moved into another flat and were soon found by my dad. I was around 4 years old and many nights were spent sat in silence in the dark so he would think nobody was home should he turn up. One day my auntie was visiting with her friend who, even to this day, is a well known hardman in our town. As it would happen, on this day my dad turned up at our door with his usual violent nature on display but unbeknownst to him this day would be different. My aunts friend came out to him and made short work of him and held him over some railings with some stern words. That would be the last time my mom ever saw my dad and i wouldn't see him again until i was around 27.
My mom soon met a man who seemed very kind and caring and was brilliant with me. He lived on the floor below us and would be working on cars outside and would always make kind and fun interactions with me as my mom was taking me to my grandparents home or to and from school. My mom was now around 21 and this man was 12 years her senior, they began a relationship and things were looking up. She had been a single parent and was absolutely vulnerable after the years of abuse suffered at the hands of my dad and this new man was like a knight in shining armour. For the first time my mom began to feel a sense of security and i seemed to have a decent father figure in my life. Not long after my mom fell pregnant and they soon got married and we moved from the flats into a house quite a disance from my moms family. My younger half brother was born and i had started a new school in this new area but things began to change. My new stepdad was no longer loving towards me but degrading and oppressive. I often stayed at my grandparents on a weekend but when it was time to go home i had sufdenly bean to cry and not want to go home. Clearly something was not right at home. My stepdad soon put banned me from staying with my grandparents altogether and years of emotional abuse ensued.
My mom fell pregnant another 3 times and was slowly manipulated and shaped into the person he wanted her to be.
Needless to say i was a very unhappy child. As the years went by i began to develop strange symptoms that i didn't understand and was a very nervous child. I suffered alone with these symptoms for years despite my folks being made fully aware of them and witnessing my compulsive behaviour first hand. When i got older my mom apologised to me for not taking me to a doctor and explained that my stepdad wouldn't allow it as the truth of how i was treated would have been discovered. By this point though i was an utter mess and the damage was done. I don't blame my mom however as she was also abused and held like a prisoner by this man.
Anyway, by the age of 14 i had began finding solace out on the streets and starting smoking and eventually started getting high. Taking large numbers of ecstasy pills by age 15 i was a very misguided child. I even attended my french written GCSE exam under the influence of ecstasy. I now felt i had things to cheer me up and was intent on using anything and everything. I had used most drugs and was doing crack and heroin by the age of 17. These things were cool to me and gave me purpose and something to look forward to. They gave me a temporary escape.
Thruought all of these years i had recieved no real parental guidance and was never encouraged to better myself. I enrolled in college after school but was soon made to quit just months in and get a job by my stepdad. It didn't bother me too much however as i could now buy more drugs with my wages. The only real guidance i recieved was from the state at school and as evolution is what they taught us that is what i believed in and it was firmly implanted in my mind. I truly believed that basic science disproved the existence of God and anyone who believed in a creator was a nutter who denies basic scientific discovery! I was a mocker and a scoffer to the fullest and there was absolutely no way i could begin to believe God existed. In fact i can remember being kind of envious of people who truly believed in God as i thought it would be nice to be able to comfort oneself with the belief in a loving God whether or not it was nonsense. It truly was impossible for me to believe in God though as i was utterly misguided and decieved.
(I will continue this in a following post)
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