What age range was 1 Corinthians 7:9 intended for?

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JohnB

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Jul 31, 2022
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#82
I just wonder with the purity movement, and their emphasis on being a virgin before marriage, where does that put the person who has had sex or the person who has been divorced? Instead of pushing purity, they should have been pushing marriage even if you're not a virgin. In hindsight, I now wish I had gotten married in my 20's. Would have saved me years of struggling with being single.
 

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
Aug 10, 2019
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#83
I did... Idologic... Sadist. I don't see anything connecting this to our poster in this forum. Am I missing something?
I did not see a connection, either. But, I think it answers your inquiry about the 'homepage'.
 

MsMediator

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2022
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#84
I would rather have the church push purity than marriage, if they have to push anything. Marriage is not really within our control, when or who we will meet, etc. Staying chaste is more within our control.

It also depends I guess on a person's expectations for a marriage partner. Some want a "soul mate" type person, I don't think meeting such a person is within our control. Others take a more pragmatic and also probably unromantic approach, meaning any decent Christian person is the same more or less so you just pick one of them, get married and stay committed.
 

GaryA

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#85
Others take a more pragmatic and also probably unromantic approach, meaning any decent Christian person is the same more or less so you just pick one of them, get married and stay committed.
The main thing is that both need to be willing to stay committed - "no matter what come what may" - and make it work.
 

JohnB

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Jul 31, 2022
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#86
I would rather have the church push purity than marriage, if they have to push anything. Marriage is not really within our control, when or who we will meet, etc. Staying chaste is more within our control.

It also depends I guess on a person's expectations for a marriage partner. Some want a "soul mate" type person, I don't think meeting such a person is within our control. Others take a more pragmatic and also probably unromantic approach, meaning any decent Christian person is the same more or less so you just pick one of them, get married and stay committed.
"This is what the LORD commands for Zelophehad’s daughters: They may marry anyone they please as long as they marry within their father’s tribal clan. " Numbers 36:6

Who you marry is your choice. GOD does not make that decision. Virginity was important at the time of Jesus, it is not today. No one cares if the person they marry is a virgin. At the time of Jesus it was put on the women, not the men.
 

MsMediator

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Mar 8, 2022
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#87
An older man having romantic interest in a teenager under 18 can be a bit stigmatized in our society. It has to do with social norms, though, but not scripture. If Joseph was 30 and Mary was 15, like some people say, I don't see how that is sinful. They married. If her father agreed, there is no reason to accuse a couple of sin in that case. It is just taboo in our society-- kind of like cousin marriage, which isn't unbiblical, but something people in our society consider to be icky. I've got teenage daughters, and I wouldn't like an older man showing interest in them, personally, and I don't see the appeal of a 15 year old for a grown man. When I was 17, I had a cousin who was maybe 3 years older than me dating a 15 or 16-year-old from my high school. They ended up getting married. Personally, she seemed like she'd be too young for me, much less him. But that's my own sense of things, not scripture per se.
It is stigmatized because nowadays there is something predatory about this I would say in most cases. A guy chasing a high schooler now says a lot about him, including that he is selfish because he is interrupting a girl's education. In the old days, Biblical times, etc. standards were different. Probably any girl 16 plus was already betrothed or married, so a man needed to look for someone who was younger. So back then, it was less likely the guy was a predator.
 

JohnB

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Jul 31, 2022
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#88
It is stigmatized because nowadays there is something predatory about this I would say in most cases. A guy chasing a high schooler now says a lot about him, including that he is selfish because he is interrupting a girl's education. In the old days, Biblical times, etc. standards were different. Probably any girl 16 plus was already betrothed or married, so a man needed to look for someone who was younger. So back then, it was less likely the guy was a predator.
I know when I went to Calvary Chapel they had a College and Career group, for people between 18 and 30. They had to stop guys 40 and over from entering the room.
 

JohnB

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Jul 31, 2022
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#90
From age 20 and up.
They made it very clear, if you're 40 or over, don't come to College and Career. You will not be allowed in. They were having issues with men over 40 trying to pick up on the young women.
 

SomeDisciple

Well-known member
Jul 4, 2021
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#91
would you _not_ pray about it and just God is telling you personally that His grace is sufficient for you, about that thorn?
Sure, I didn't say he shouldn't pray...
Why would you insult a man on a Christian discussion forum like this just for wanting to get married?
I don't know what you're on about today presidente.... How could you possibly interpret that as an insult? And again, if JohnB has a problem with what I'm saying he can address me himself.
In I Corinthians Paul doesn't say, "Don't get married because God is sufficient.'
I know, and I didn't say that either.
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
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#92
Did CC call it the 'purity movement'? If you asked someone who went there or a pastor, would they say they were into the 'purity movement'?
I got saved in, and attended for about 10 yrs a Calvary Chapel in NJ. I don't ever remember hearing the term "purity Movement".

They taught Biblically sound principles on marriage and sex, just like you'd expect every Church to do.
 
Mar 4, 2020
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#93
Paul’s mindset was about how to avoid sin and teaching others how to avoid sin. Paul was clearly less concerned with the niceties of marriage and more interested in how it can be leveraged to help individual church members. Thus, Paul viewed marriage as a utility that people could take advantage of to help them, but otherwise said they should just not get married at all.

Paul saw marriage as unnecessary, believing that those who are married will concern themselves less with the things of God and more with the things of their wife. While family is important, they aren’t more important than God and Paul seems to think they could be an unnecessary distraction. So I don’t see that Paul would have encouraged others to become infatuated with their spouse or obsessively in love with them.

That’s why he said marriage can be used for sex, but afterwards knock it off and get back to praying and serving God.
 

ResidentAlien

Well-known member
Apr 21, 2021
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#94
I just wonder with the purity movement, and their emphasis on being a virgin before marriage, where does that put the person who has had sex or the person who has been divorced? Instead of pushing purity, they should have been pushing marriage even if you're not a virgin. In hindsight, I now wish I had gotten married in my 20's. Would have saved me years of struggling with being single.
There's not one thing wrong with encouraging young people to keep their virginity. Dictatorial rule like that of CC is not good; however, we shouldn't throw the baby out with the bathwater. We shouldn't be pushing anything, but teaching God's word. Let the Holy Spirit do the pushing.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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#95
"This is what the LORD commands for Zelophehad’s daughters: They may marry anyone they please as long as they marry within their father’s tribal clan. " Numbers 36:6

Who you marry is your choice. GOD does not make that decision. Virginity was important at the time of Jesus, it is not today. No one cares if the person they marry is a virgin. At the time of Jesus it was put on the women, not the men.
Speak for yourself. When I was single, I cared if the woman I married as a virgin. My wife probably did, too. We had both waited until marriage.

My wife and I have had that conversation before-- would you remarry if I died, and what kind of person we'd want around our kids. At the time, I said I would probably remarry. If I did remarry, i would want to marry a virgin or a widow who had only been with her husband.

I wouldn't want to marry a woman who is 'one flesh' with another man. I am not saying someone else cannot marry someone who has fornicated or committed adultery. But I personally would not want to because it wouldn't feel right to me personally as far as my personal tastes and desires go. Also, statistically, previous sexual partners besides the husband correlated with a much higher rate of 'marriage disruption.' If someone has never had sex before marriage, sleeping with someone besides one's husband/wife is a big deal. I'd imagine sleeping with someone outside of marriage is a big deal for a widow/widower who has remained faithful. But if sleeping around was a lifestyle habit before marriage, I wouldn't want to be the victim of someone who fell back into a bad habit.

If finding a virgin or sexually moral widow meant living in Indonesia again, where I spent many years, and where it seems like virginity before marriage is much more common since there is a stigma attached to either male or female losing it outside of marriage, that would be okay with me. I speak the language, and have spent many years there.

It could be you have too narrow a view of 'the purity movement.' I am not sure about it, because I have never been to a church that used the term to describe what they are doing. But I would imagine there are churches that teach and promote marriage, teach fornicators to marry rather than to fornicate, and standard Biblical doctrine on the issue.... in addition to opposing certain aspects of the dating culture.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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#96
Paul’s mindset was about how to avoid sin and teaching others how to avoid sin. Paul was clearly less concerned with the niceties of marriage and more interested in how it can be leveraged to help individual church members. Thus, Paul viewed marriage as a utility that people could take advantage of to help them, but otherwise said they should just not get married at all.

Paul saw marriage as unnecessary, believing that those who are married will concern themselves less with the things of God and more with the things of their wife. While family is important, they aren’t more important than God and Paul seems to think they could be an unnecessary distraction. So I don’t see that Paul would have encouraged others to become infatuated with their spouse or obsessively in love with them.

That’s why he said marriage can be used for sex, but afterwards knock it off and get back to praying and serving God.
That's the emphasis in I Corinthians 7. And Paul's concern with the Corinthians mentioned in II Corinthians was to present them as a chaste virgin for Christ. He saw marriage as a way to help prevent the sin of fornication. But that is not all Paul wrote on the subject. He also wrote that a husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church, to love her as his own body, and applied 'two shall be one flesh' of marriage to the mystery of Christ and the church. There is a mystery there in the marriage and the sexual aspect of it.

But there is a bit of a difference between 'love your wives' and 'marry someone you are madly in love with'.
 

Dirtman

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2022
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#97
I dont know whats so hard about go ahead and get married. Its simple. Find someone exchange disclosure statements if they are compatible then get married.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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#98
I dont know whats so hard about go ahead and get married. Its simple. Find someone exchange disclosure statements if they are compatible then get married.
Your such a romantic. The ladies really go for romantic men like that.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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#99
I don't know what you're on about today presidente.... How could you possibly interpret that as an insult? And again, if JohnB has a problem with what I'm saying he can address me himself.
I would find, "It's not good for man to be alone- you might be "a man", but you're not "man", man. " insulting.

Telling someone he is not a man in some way. Otherwise, I don't know what you are trying to say.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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It is stigmatized because nowadays there is something predatory about this I would say in most cases. A guy chasing a high schooler now says a lot about him, including that he is selfish because he is interrupting a girl's education. In the old days, Biblical times, etc. standards were different. Probably any girl 16 plus was already betrothed or married, so a man needed to look for someone who was younger. So back then, it was less likely the guy was a predator.
I don't want any grown men chasing my high school daughters around. But I also realize it's not a sin for a man to marry a teenage girl.

If their dads are cool with it and they are cool with it, it's okay, I guess, even if society frowns on it. Just from the perspectives of ethics, I think a girl should be physically mature enough to have children.

I occasionally hear comments on TV that imply it is wrong for 60+ year old men to marry 20-something-year-olds who are of the age legal adults. I don't see a moral problem with it. There are practical issues like who would raise the kid if he died.... and why she'd be attracted to a guy so old, and what will it be like for her in 20 years, when she is 45 and he is 85. But I don't see it as a sin issue. I'd be more concerned about someone divorcing his wife and marrying another and committing adultery or marrying her that is divorced and committing adultery, or with fornication. Those are sin issues. Some of those who seem to think this is morally reprehensible are probably women approaching middle age who have difficulty finding a partner who didn't try in their 20s.