One more time

I feel like I’ve fallen one more time.
I feel like I let God down one more time.
It feels pretty lonely down here.
I wish I could share through the screen how I feel rather than trying to express it with limited words.
I feel like I don’t deserve the love and forgiveness of God.
I feel bound to sin.
I hate the sin and my flesh is in constant fight with the spirit.
Deep down I know the Holy Spirit will never leave me.
However, my battle feels eternal and lonely.
God help me.
I hate feeling this void and emptiness.
I hate feeling hopeless and unlovable.
Lord God I cry onto you,
You’re my only hope.
You chose me even when I didn’t choose you.
Please help me remember this even when I don’t choose myself.

I feel like I don’t deserve the love and forgiveness of God.

None of us do! That is one of the things that makes the grace of God so awesome!

Is this how you now or are you recalling what you have experienced in the past?

How I felt last night.

Keep trusting in our Lord , for when He saved me , I to was a drunk , but He delivered me from this addiction four yrs ago...
I found my drinking to become less and less...Now I just take one day at a time , He is faithful even when we are not...
Some people have days of sobriety behind them , some years ...
I used to beat myself up , just like you ...The fact that you hate this addiction is a great work of Christ in you...
Keep battling , and relying on His strength to get you through...

How I felt last night.

Keep seeking God. I know it is trite to say but Jesus is the answer. God has promised He will work this for your good. Already it has led to sorrow in you which can lead to repentance. And it will hopefully lead you into greater dependence upon God and into greater intimacy with Him. I'll be praying for you?

Thank you for the reminder.
Im struggling with alcohol. Yesterday I had 3 cans of beer and afterwards I felt so guilty and terrible. I know I shouldn’t be drinking. I thought I had dealt with addiction and have been delivered since...
However, I realize that I lack discipline which makes me feel very disappointed in myself.
I Pray for God grace and strength to keep saying no and fleeing temptations.

Here is some advice I was told.... Our walk with the lord is like an infant learning to walk. We walk so far and fall, no matter how many times we fall the lord will place us on our feet to try to walk again...we just need to be willing because he is willing. Dose that mean we can allow ourselves to fall...no. it means we get placed back up and we fight to move forward knowing the lord is always with us and wants us to keep walking. Sometimes we are meant to fall so our legs get strengthened. Even though we may feel alone the lord said he will never leave us nor forsake us. Sometimes he is in the back waiting to reveal us something and when we see it we know it's from him. Then when we testify to others it makes our testimony even stronger. Hope this helps you as it helps me. I too have been in these places and still have my struggles...... We all do. Just know you are not alone

Thank you so much for your words.
A little update is that I've been feeling much better, been walking more in the spirit. Sin has no power over me as Jesus defeated it when he came to die for us.
He sees my struggles, He knows them all and He still loves me and picks me back up when I fall. I know I've been deliverd from my past and now walk in that deliverance by the hand of God and with discipline.

Thank you all again for your kind words