You also asked for a Scripture.
"Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matt 28:18-21
Jesus commands us to "make" disciples. That is, he tells us his expectations for believers. We are not just to "share" the gospel but through the authority Jesus has, we are to bring people to Christ & teach them how to obey Christ. Fairly close to "forcing" people to believe in Christ!
I am not that vehement. And I always pray for people to come to know Christ, that I have witnessed to! But one of the people who started a revival in an area where I used to live, literally rode a 45 minute round trip on a free ferry all day, sharing tracts & his testimony. It was an important part of me learning what the gospel was. Locals would often stay in their cars, so they didn't have to hear his spiel again! But he knew what God had done for him, and the least he could do for God was to preach the gospel, as God told him to do in his Word.
I'm very sorry to hear you gave up on Jesus. But just be aware, it is God that calls us to be saved, nothing about our own works! God has not given up on you. When my RA was excruciatingly painful and Word Faith people were telling me I didn't have enough faith to be healed, I got very angry with God, and turned my back in him. But he didn't turn his back on me! He kept calling me home. One day, I turned around and he was right there, he hadn't moved, I had! God told me to read 5 Psalms a day. Which I did for 2 years! I met God's people & found us that the rain falls on the just & the unjust. Everyone suffers sober or later with something. I went back to church, opened my Bible, started praying again. Within 6 months, God had called me to seminary, which is where I really belonged!!
Praying for you to realize God is waiting for you to turn back to him!