Like Every Single Week

I leave my bed,
take my phone to swipe videos
like every week.
Then, I go to the fridge
and eat the first thing I find there
like every single week.

I take a bath, drive my car to work.
I sit down in an office with an empty face
like every single week.
I stare at my colleagues and envy them
like every single week.

At nights, I go to church
just to pretend you listen to me.
I lift my hands to you with no emotion
to sing the same song again.
Oh Lord, I can't pretend anymore.
My pain is dragging me down,
my sadness is pretty clear.
I'm tired of this futile facade
of lying to your face
like every single week.

The next day, I drive again to the youth group
to boast of my theology and intelligence
like every single week.
Then, I rehearse with the worship team
to invent new spiritual songs for Sunday
like every single week.

Like every single week, I put on my best mask
just to pretend I am a good Christian.
I hold my Bible to protect a reputation
that's based on a pretext I invented.
Oh Lord, I can't pretend anymore.
My shame is pulling me away from you,
my circus play is pretty obvious.

Like every single week, I put on my best clothes
just to hide the wounds I bear inside.
I pray outloud to quench the painful cries
that come from deep within me.
Oh Lord, I can't keep starring this movie anymore.
Heal this heart and restore this dry life.
Grant me true contentment and joy.
'cause I can't keep living like this
for another single week anymore.

This is very relatable... how easy it is to put on a good show when I know I'm spiritually not where I should be. I believe the cure is spending time with our Heavenly Father in His word and prayer...