My young nephew has just turned 18 this past Christmas. He lives a few hours from me so I haven't been able to spend as much time as I would like with him, but I make the most of the time when he and his brother do come. My husband and I have no children. So I feel I don't have a lot of standing to give advice in that area. But I am worried about his faith recently.
My BIL has had a lot of emotional issues and been on and off meds his whole life. That's made for a very unstable person, husband and father. For whatever reason he can be well for only small periods of time. So he and my sister have never settled in a church, but leapt from place to place. My sister read the Bible to the boys, they went to Christian school for a few years. But still, the family was very unstable because of my BILs mental health.
When the boys would come visit from the time they were small we always made a big deal of it. Taking them to parks, fairs, museums, hikes, boat rides, anything we could find for them to do. As they got older we never let them sit on phones or video games, we kept them busy. I have literally hundreds of photos of all the things we did together. We felt that was the best way to get to know them. As my parents got older and unable to go, my husband and I would take them. And these boys were so good. We never had an issue with either of them. They were always on their best behavior and my husband would say he'd never seen kids like it.
I started to be concerned when one day my eldest and I were alone and he said he wanted to ask me a question but didn't want me to tell anyone, not even his mom. I agreed but my heart was failing me, I didn't know what he was going to ask. So he asked about a young girl he was interested in and the subject came around to sex. I was careful about what I said, clear about what the Bible says. Plus he has an older sister who got married and pregnant young and her husband ended up in jail and they are now divorced. So I asked my sister if anyone had talked to the boys about sex as they were both in their early teens by that time. So said her husband found it embarrassing and said they don't listen anyway. To which I told her, if you don't tell them, someone will, so you better see to it.
So a few weeks ago my sister informed me my eldest nephew had started dating. Now he is a very feet on the ground young man. Never dated, said girls were too much drama. He has been in JORTC for a few years. His father wanted him in the military, and all signs were pointing that way. But I had a feeling deep down he was making that choice for his father. Either way, a very grounded young man, knew right from wrong and very bold about what he believed.
He has met this young girl. She isn't a Christian, she comes from an abusive background, and her understanding is very liberal. She sees nothing wrong with sex before marriage and doesn't understand why my sister won't just leave them alone. She informed my sister that she was going to pretend to be a girlfriend to her gay friend so he wouldn't have to "come out" to his Christian parents. And my nephew is head over heels in love. I understand it's his first love and many times that fades quickly. But it worries me that he is so ready to compromise his beliefs for the first girl he falls for. I know my sister has been very straight forward with them both. She has told her she must come to church with them and she wants them spending less time alone together. But I believe she is standing alone. My BIL is dealing with his daughter who is on the verge of divorcing her second husband who may be going to jail, leaving him to support his daughter and grand-daughter. I don't want that life for either of the boys. I'm just not sure how to help in this situation. I don't want to push him away, he's done school in the spring and he's on his own. I feel my sister needs backup but I don't know if it's our place to try and help. Anyone have any advice as to what you would do? Every time I think of him I pray. I don't want to do to say the wrong thing.
My BIL has had a lot of emotional issues and been on and off meds his whole life. That's made for a very unstable person, husband and father. For whatever reason he can be well for only small periods of time. So he and my sister have never settled in a church, but leapt from place to place. My sister read the Bible to the boys, they went to Christian school for a few years. But still, the family was very unstable because of my BILs mental health.
When the boys would come visit from the time they were small we always made a big deal of it. Taking them to parks, fairs, museums, hikes, boat rides, anything we could find for them to do. As they got older we never let them sit on phones or video games, we kept them busy. I have literally hundreds of photos of all the things we did together. We felt that was the best way to get to know them. As my parents got older and unable to go, my husband and I would take them. And these boys were so good. We never had an issue with either of them. They were always on their best behavior and my husband would say he'd never seen kids like it.
I started to be concerned when one day my eldest and I were alone and he said he wanted to ask me a question but didn't want me to tell anyone, not even his mom. I agreed but my heart was failing me, I didn't know what he was going to ask. So he asked about a young girl he was interested in and the subject came around to sex. I was careful about what I said, clear about what the Bible says. Plus he has an older sister who got married and pregnant young and her husband ended up in jail and they are now divorced. So I asked my sister if anyone had talked to the boys about sex as they were both in their early teens by that time. So said her husband found it embarrassing and said they don't listen anyway. To which I told her, if you don't tell them, someone will, so you better see to it.
So a few weeks ago my sister informed me my eldest nephew had started dating. Now he is a very feet on the ground young man. Never dated, said girls were too much drama. He has been in JORTC for a few years. His father wanted him in the military, and all signs were pointing that way. But I had a feeling deep down he was making that choice for his father. Either way, a very grounded young man, knew right from wrong and very bold about what he believed.
He has met this young girl. She isn't a Christian, she comes from an abusive background, and her understanding is very liberal. She sees nothing wrong with sex before marriage and doesn't understand why my sister won't just leave them alone. She informed my sister that she was going to pretend to be a girlfriend to her gay friend so he wouldn't have to "come out" to his Christian parents. And my nephew is head over heels in love. I understand it's his first love and many times that fades quickly. But it worries me that he is so ready to compromise his beliefs for the first girl he falls for. I know my sister has been very straight forward with them both. She has told her she must come to church with them and she wants them spending less time alone together. But I believe she is standing alone. My BIL is dealing with his daughter who is on the verge of divorcing her second husband who may be going to jail, leaving him to support his daughter and grand-daughter. I don't want that life for either of the boys. I'm just not sure how to help in this situation. I don't want to push him away, he's done school in the spring and he's on his own. I feel my sister needs backup but I don't know if it's our place to try and help. Anyone have any advice as to what you would do? Every time I think of him I pray. I don't want to do to say the wrong thing.
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