The Flower by His Dark Path

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ChrisTillinen

ChrisTillinen

Active member
#1
Sep 16, 2022
354
184
43
#1
Sad eyes of a man who walks the roadside
Hint of quietly suffering soul's drought
His shell is now empty but still fit to hide
The depth of sense of sorrow life has brought

Once again he passes by an old church
A beacon of his childhood now distant
By the path he sees a blue iris under a birch
Slowly withering its life out of existence

As he looks down to the flower's fading state
Soul's drought transforms into stream of tears
Nature's silky window to beauty shares his fate
In this ruthless march of months and years

Longing for quiet amidst the inward storm
He decides to walk into nearby forest
But silence can be a ravaging worm
That feeds on wounds at their sorest

Encircled in his doubtful plight
He feels helpless in the moment's distress
After years away from the light
Darkness proved to be a cruel temptress

Without direction in forest as in life
He turned to look around but fell over
As he arose he saw a form of cross
Shrouded in light on top of bell tower

The form was most familiar
Yet it now looked all new
Surfacing from the subliminal
Were words of hope he always knew

On his way back he passes by the same flower
Droplets of sorrow still lying on its leaves
Hope's renewal had brought its hidden power
To make it bloom again as creator's hand weaves

Approaching church with newfound sight
His soul awakens to its hoping
As darkness slowly erodes to the night
The door is open
 
Seeker47

Seeker47

Well-known member
#2
Aug 7, 2018
1,129
963
113
#2
"But silence can be a ravaging worm
That feeds on wounds at their sorest"

Sad words, but also true.....

Great work!
 
ChrisTillinen

ChrisTillinen

Active member
#3
Sep 16, 2022
354
184
43
#3
Thanks. I'm glad you liked it!

There are two small details in this poem that kind of break the pattern. First is the line "As he arose he saw a form of cross". It's the only line that doesn't rhyme at all. First I thought of ways to make it rhyme and had a bit of a sense of disappointment if I had to leave it like that, but then I realized that in a way it's appropriate that it's the line about the cross that breaks the pattern, and also because the line indicates a moment of change in the man's life at that point in the poem. Also the last line "The door is open" is shorter than others, but that's on purpose to leave the impression that this is not really an end but a new beginning.

Also there's something going on with that blue iris. Not sure if you caught that, but I guess you might have.
 
ebdesroches

ebdesroches

Well-known member
#4
Aug 20, 2022
976
495
63
76
#4
ChrisTillinen said:
Sad eyes of a man who walks the roadside
Hint of quietly suffering soul's drought
His shell is now empty but still fit to hide
The depth of sense of sorrow life has brought

Once again he passes by an old church
A beacon of his childhood now distant
By the path he sees a blue iris under a birch
Slowly withering its life out of existence

As he looks down to the flower's fading state
Soul's drought transforms into stream of tears
Nature's silky window to beauty shares his fate
In this ruthless march of months and years

Longing for quiet amidst the inward storm
He decides to walk into nearby forest
But silence can be a ravaging worm
That feeds on wounds at their sorest

Encircled in his doubtful plight
He feels helpless in the moment's distress
After years away from the light
Darkness proved to be a cruel temptress

Without direction in forest as in life
He turned to look around but fell over
As he arose he saw a form of cross
Shrouded in light on top of bell tower

The form was most familiar
Yet it now looked all new
Surfacing from the subliminal
Were words of hope he always knew

On his way back he passes by the same flower
Droplets of sorrow still lying on its leaves
Hope's renewal had brought its hidden power
To make it bloom again as creator's hand weaves

Approaching church with newfound sight
His soul awakens to its hoping
As darkness slowly erodes to the night
The door is open
Click to expand...
Solid understandable words about a person drifted away but in the end by God's spirit returned to the faith of His youth.
 
notmyown

notmyown

Senior Member
#6
May 26, 2016
4,927
1,272
113
#6
ChrisTillinen said:
Sad eyes of a man who walks the roadside
Hint of quietly suffering soul's drought
His shell is now empty but still fit to hide
The depth of sense of sorrow life has brought

Once again he passes by an old church
A beacon of his childhood now distant
By the path he sees a blue iris under a birch
Slowly withering its life out of existence

As he looks down to the flower's fading state
Soul's drought transforms into stream of tears
Nature's silky window to beauty shares his fate
In this ruthless march of months and years

Longing for quiet amidst the inward storm
He decides to walk into nearby forest
But silence can be a ravaging worm
That feeds on wounds at their sorest

Encircled in his doubtful plight
He feels helpless in the moment's distress
After years away from the light
Darkness proved to be a cruel temptress

Without direction in forest as in life
He turned to look around but fell over
As he arose he saw a form of cross
Shrouded in light on top of bell tower

The form was most familiar
Yet it now looked all new
Surfacing from the subliminal
Were words of hope he always knew

On his way back he passes by the same flower
Droplets of sorrow still lying on its leaves
Hope's renewal had brought its hidden power
To make it bloom again as creator's hand weaves

Approaching church with newfound sight
His soul awakens to its hoping
As darkness slowly erodes to the night
The door is open
Click to expand...
i missed this when you first posted it. having read it now, i have tears in my eyes.

you've painted a beautiful word picture, and i thank you for sharing it with us.
 
ChrisTillinen

ChrisTillinen

Active member
#7
Sep 16, 2022
354
184
43
#7
notmyown said:
i missed this when you first posted it. having read it now, i have tears in my eyes.

you've painted a beautiful word picture, and i thank you for sharing it with us.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much. It's amazing to hear that it had such an impact on you. :)
 
P

Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
#8
Jul 19, 2020
1,016
189
63
#8
Its not very common that someone will pass by a church and start to have a passion to go there again. I have heard of that happening though. I believe that preachers save lives and help God save souls. Because the devil is always there to discourage and keep one mentality obstruct.
 
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