I am depressed Men keep abandon me

I am depressed men keep abandon me I cant find ANYONE IN my area who is single my friends are taken and I am tired of getting cheated on or dump for no reason I am about to have surgery. I have been crying all the time. I am tired of being single. And the one I want is taken. How am I going to find someone if I dont drive or have any who dont have girlfriends???

Being single can be difficult, especially if one desires to be in a relationship. It can be even more difficult when combined with failed relationships. But someone who is going to have a surgery might want to get through that before trying to concentrate on another relationship. And as relationships can be stressful in and of themselves, it might be even more stressful for a possible suitor to deal with the added concerns posed by an impending surgery. What otherwise might have turned into a very successful relationship might not ever get off the ground.
I'll be glad to pray for you, but wisdom might be to wait until after surgery and recovery.

Welcome!

Howdy lonelygirl and welcome to the forum.

Being alone can be awesome too. Just saying.

i don't know your whole story. but not driving is a bid turnoff for men. examine your body, heart, mind, soul, conscious & spirit & see if all are in line with Jesus. i know laziness is a turnoff for men. the best woman i ever dated was lazy. i'm a landscaper & for years i would come home from work hungry, she would be home doing nothing & i'd say, "what's for dinner"? her response was, "i din't know what you wanted". i was with her for decades. of course she knew what food i ate. just simply lazy. there's always a reason someone is dumped. always know that God designed men to be comforted by "looks" of a gorgeous woman. the great preacher Adrian Rogers taught women to keep themselves beautiful for their men. here's a huge "no" for men: they meet a woman, she's pretty & thin & then 6 months later or a year later she's gained a lot of weight. & women think it's no big deal. it sure is!. if the woman was big in the 1st place, he would never have asked her out! (no application to any individual woman intended). i will pray for you. blessings to you.

what, dont men make women big and fat by getting them pregnant lol
so they can just blame themselves for that one.

Welcome to the forum, Lonelygirl! Why is it you don't drive?


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You aren't getting dumped for 'no reason'. There is a reason, you just aren't being told. Maybe uts them, maybe not. I've been dumped a lot in my life as well, and I haven't always felt the reasons were good, or should've prevented them from getting into the relationship to begin with.

Marriage is not a promise. You may or may not find someone. Not a fun truth, but a truth nonetheless.
Really the first step in relationships is learning to be happy and content Without a relationship. If you're not able to do this you'll likely end up in a bad relationship anyways. And may be why you keep getting dumped. You're making bad choices due to your very apparent desperation.
Desperation is a turn off to guys worth dating. Guys that aren't turned off by it are probably users just wanting to take advantage of you.

I'd suggest, on top of the points I made above l, slow down when it comes to dating. Don't be in a rush to jump into a relationship. I'll often take months just being friends before taking things to the next level. It gives you time to see what they're really like. And users are less likely to wait that long and will move on, or move on before it gets serious.

Those are the areas I'd suggest you look into and work on.

I just had surgery, myself, a month ago. Not too fun.

You can tell a lot about someone by their responses in forums…

Wow!

Some people prefer to be alone, some don’t. Regardless, The Bible says in Matthew 6:33 and again in Luke 12:31: Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness…” If you desire a mate, as a Christian, you should be desiring a spouse. Christian’s don’t have girlfriends and boyfriends. There’s no premarital sex, no heavy petting and making out, no stopping at 3rd base. That’s all nonsense. When you live for God, then He takes care of your needs. There’s no if, maybe..NO! That’s false! It’s always “Yay and Amen”. But you have to do your part. You have to consecrate yourself and grow to the level of maturity spiritually that another Christian person deserves. God will not put two unequally yoked people together so that one will be living by faith and the other doing all kinds of nonsense. You have to present something to God that He can bless. God doesn’t play games, He doesn’t make mistakes. Everybody wants everything but nobody wants to present themselves Holy unto the Lord. Consider yourself and every person you’ve been with lucky that you’re not together. Psalm 127:1 “Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.”

Remember this: You ask God for a mate. You ask for them to be kind, handsome, pretty, fit or fat, faithful, Christian, good job, good with kids, etc., etc. Then God says, “Ok, but what does that person want with you?”
Matthew 6:7-8 teaches that God knows what we need before we ask.

Matthew 6:31 plus 33

I would like to encourage you before anything, it's very hard because in my experience i thought that all of my relationship problems is something that ive done wrong and caused me to doubt myself and suffered from low self esteem in the process. But it is God protecting you. As Christians we are set apart, we were brought with a price, we don't live as the world lives. I had a constant desire to be in a relationship in good ones and terribly bad relationships and accepted anything because I was afraid of being alone but that is not what God desires from us. Our first love , our first desire should be for the LORD and his desires and thoughts towards us are good. We should trust what God is doing in us. I pray that you have safe surgery and that God remove all loneliness from your heart. My favorite scripture is

Isaiah 54:4-7 (KJV) Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more.
For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.
For the LORD hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God.
For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee.

My favourite scripture is Deuteronomy 31:6 and also Hebrews 13:5

I will never leave you nor forsake you

Not sure what happened to your dad, but God being our Father wont do as a man often does which is betray a womans trust and then leave and abandon a woman for another one. Cos He is not a man. Hes not like that.

You may not have seen God's power like I have, and God's power is awesome.

If I tell you, have you ever considered that in this fallen world you may never find the right person , then God will make you a perfect match, but you will never see him in this life,

You'll have to endure loneliness for it until you meet him in heaven,But suddenly you realize there is no marriage in heaven.

He's just one of your brothers, but not born in the flesh.

I know it's not for everyone.I just want you to know that God won't ignore your loneliness, God loves us so much,But we should live to God, because everything comes from God, if you believe in Him, trust Him.

Hi Lonely Girl,
I spend a lot of time alone too and sometimes I let it get to me but the Bible tells us we are never alone God is with us always. I still get into a funk sometimes and wish I had a human companion but it seems as though I am meant to go through life alone and learn to depend on God. Sometimes this helps with the depression, sometimes not. I'm a member of a Church, a place I go to be closer to God, but mostly to shy to say anything to anybody. Hang in there God has a plan and when you quit looking for love God will seen somebody to fill the void. His timing not ours I've got things to work on but am often distracted by loneliness. Maybe I'm a slow learner or just meant to be alone and dependent on God. I know it will work out, some day I'll understand His will for my life and probably be too busy to remember that I am lonely. Love God only and He will fill you with over flowing love.

Howdy Bob and welcome to the forum.

From what I have seen (from other people... I'm still single myself) people usually seem to find the right person only after they learn how to be okay all alone. Maybe it's because they're not ready for someone else in their lives until they learn how to live their lives alone. Maybe they don't find someone until they stop giving off desperation vibes. But that's how it usually seems to happen.

Why is it always assumed that a single person looking for love has not sought God? I keep in mind that the people usually handing out the "wisdom" are married, and they have forgotten what it was like to be alone. They may have married very young, too. I think it's wrong to talk down to single people. And one should not assume they are looking for a bedroom partner. What most of us are looking for - I think - is someone who shares similar interests, someone to do things with - go for a walk, enjoy a cup of coffee somewhere, enjoy a few laughs, maybe discuss our faith journey.
It's easy to say "all you need is the Lord' if you are already spoken for. This world is not an easy place to live in. Let's not make it harder for those of us who are alone.

It's kind of like when you're looking for your lost keys and someone says, "Where's the last place you remember seeing them?" They mean well, they want to help, but they have no idea how to help, so they throw out any advice they can think of. You have almost certainly already looked in the last place you remember seeing them, but that's all the advice they can think of offhand.

Nice cat in your avatar, by the way. You must have a peaceful house. He looks secure and serene.

Jesus and his father hears the desire of your heart and see’s your tears, he is already moving in your life to make you whole and blessed. I understand that you are home-bound and can’t socialize, but that isn’t a limitation to him.

You are so loved by the Godhead, the holy Trinity, and God’s desires to bless you more than you want to be bless. What more important is he wants a close relationship and walk with him. He stands at the door and knocks, true of salvation, true of intimacy with him.

What I was trying to say was like an earlier poster said, Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness… In other words draw near to Jesus and that closeness would appeal to your future husband.

Please stay with us and stay tuned for better replies than mine. Never forget that Christ when to the cross for you because he dearly loves you.