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lilyy

New member
Jun 19, 2023
3
5
3
#1
(this is pretty long ngl)

So I was playing Genshin Impact, like I usually do, and then this guy sends me a friend request. We got along pretty well, and everything seemed pretty chill. Then about 2 days ago while we were casually playing and chatting, he asks me if I wanted to hear about his "backstory". So I said, "yes" because I didnt think it would be too crazy.

Then he straight up told me that he was 5 when he watched his dad die, and then told me that he was 9 when his step-dad died from a heart attack. He said that he had PTSD, seasonal depression, severe anxiety and OCD. I was pretty shocked because I was for sure not expecting that. Especially because we had only known each other for abt a week or so.

When he had told me those things, he didn't say anything else about it. And he never mentioned it again. I felt like I had to say something to him about it, but I'm unsure of what. I don't know his religion either, but I want to bring God into it while being discreet with His name. I don't want it to seem like I'm forcing Christianity on him.

So then I talked to my Christian counselor about it, and she said that this was bound to happen, since my purpose in life is to spread the gospel and help people with their mental health. But I never thought that it would be someone who I met on a video game, and who I wasn't even super close with. And she expects me to tell her what I said to him about it on Wednesday.

And I don't want to say something to him just because my counselor told me to, I genuinely have a feeling that I need to give him words of encouragement. But another side of me is worried that I'll bring back all those bad feelings if I mention it to him. And I'm not sure how I would bring it up in the first place.

I keep worrying about if i'll offend him in any way, and if he will not want to hear what I have to say to him? And if we are just playing, and there is good vibes, I don't want to bring up his past trauma. My counselor told me that the feeling I had was the Holy Spirit, but I still feel hesitant.

This is pretty new to me, as I've never been in such a situation. And as someone who's trauma started since the day I was born, I would never have vented about something like that to a person on a video game I've known for a solid week. And as I'm only a year into Christianity, I'm stuck on how to bring the Lord into this. I've been keeping the guy in my prayers, of course.

So I'm looking for an opinion on this, basically. An idea of what to say, and how to bring it up without being rude or too blunt about it, and how to make not force Christianity onto him while still bringing God into it. This is pretty important to me, because my counselor had told me this was the first step into starting on the purpose God put me on this world for.

Thanks for reading <333
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,376
29,631
113
#2
I've been keeping the guy in my prayers, of course.
That's a good place to start .:). He gave you a lot to process, and since he has not mentioned anything
about it since, I would not be in a hurry to address any of it until you are sure of how you are going to
handle it. I can't help but wonder the reason why he felt a need to unload all of that on you, given that
you have known each other such a short time and have only been gaming together. Guard your heart.



Welcome!
:)
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,241
2,536
113
#3
(this is pretty long ngl)

So I was playing Genshin Impact, like I usually do, and then this guy sends me a friend request. We got along pretty well, and everything seemed pretty chill. Then about 2 days ago while we were casually playing and chatting, he asks me if I wanted to hear about his "backstory". So I said, "yes" because I didnt think it would be too crazy.

Then he straight up told me that he was 5 when he watched his dad die, and then told me that he was 9 when his step-dad died from a heart attack. He said that he had PTSD, seasonal depression, severe anxiety and OCD. I was pretty shocked because I was for sure not expecting that. Especially because we had only known each other for abt a week or so.

When he had told me those things, he didn't say anything else about it. And he never mentioned it again. I felt like I had to say something to him about it, but I'm unsure of what. I don't know his religion either, but I want to bring God into it while being discreet with His name. I don't want it to seem like I'm forcing Christianity on him.

So then I talked to my Christian counselor about it, and she said that this was bound to happen, since my purpose in life is to spread the gospel and help people with their mental health. But I never thought that it would be someone who I met on a video game, and who I wasn't even super close with. And she expects me to tell her what I said to him about it on Wednesday.

And I don't want to say something to him just because my counselor told me to, I genuinely have a feeling that I need to give him words of encouragement. But another side of me is worried that I'll bring back all those bad feelings if I mention it to him. And I'm not sure how I would bring it up in the first place.

I keep worrying about if i'll offend him in any way, and if he will not want to hear what I have to say to him? And if we are just playing, and there is good vibes, I don't want to bring up his past trauma. My counselor told me that the feeling I had was the Holy Spirit, but I still feel hesitant.

This is pretty new to me, as I've never been in such a situation. And as someone who's trauma started since the day I was born, I would never have vented about something like that to a person on a video game I've known for a solid week. And as I'm only a year into Christianity, I'm stuck on how to bring the Lord into this. I've been keeping the guy in my prayers, of course.

So I'm looking for an opinion on this, basically. An idea of what to say, and how to bring it up without being rude or too blunt about it, and how to make not force Christianity onto him while still bringing God into it. This is pretty important to me, because my counselor had told me this was the first step into starting on the purpose God put me on this world for.

Thanks for reading <333
You are discounting something that is of the utmost importance....
How in the world you discount the most important thing is beyond me especially when you are wanting to be a counselor and even more when you just personally demonstrated the reason why you have more influence than a professional counselor.

BE A FRIEND to this person. There's more you can do as a friend than as a counselor.

And as a friend you can talk about a funny situation that you had a church or a friend you have at church in a casual way instead of making a HUGE deal about it. (Which is usually a turnoff)

I worked for years around the same group of guys....I never once preached at them about their porn or drug habits. But they ALL knew that I was a Christian....and as overheard, "He wasn't that way" meaning I wasn't preachy or condemning.

However, when asked about "life" things....they got an earful of why following the moral compass I did was in THEIR best interests. And I even invited a few to church with me when they were really interested.

IMHO this is the best way to go about it....I had a friend who it took 8 years to come around to Jesus. He fussed at me more than once over the years because I told him (when asked) what he needed to hear instead of what he wanted to hear. I never changed once....I am who I am and am unapologetic about it. You being the same is the best advice I can give.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,305
4,354
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#4
(this is pretty long ngl)

So I was playing Genshin Impact, like I usually do, and then this guy sends me a friend request. We got along pretty well, and everything seemed pretty chill. Then about 2 days ago while we were casually playing and chatting, he asks me if I wanted to hear about his "backstory". So I said, "yes" because I didnt think it would be too crazy.

Then he straight up told me that he was 5 when he watched his dad die, and then told me that he was 9 when his step-dad died from a heart attack. He said that he had PTSD, seasonal depression, severe anxiety and OCD. I was pretty shocked because I was for sure not expecting that. Especially because we had only known each other for abt a week or so.

When he had told me those things, he didn't say anything else about it. And he never mentioned it again. I felt like I had to say something to him about it, but I'm unsure of what. I don't know his religion either, but I want to bring God into it while being discreet with His name. I don't want it to seem like I'm forcing Christianity on him.

So then I talked to my Christian counselor about it, and she said that this was bound to happen, since my purpose in life is to spread the gospel and help people with their mental health. But I never thought that it would be someone who I met on a video game, and who I wasn't even super close with. And she expects me to tell her what I said to him about it on Wednesday.

And I don't want to say something to him just because my counselor told me to, I genuinely have a feeling that I need to give him words of encouragement. But another side of me is worried that I'll bring back all those bad feelings if I mention it to him. And I'm not sure how I would bring it up in the first place.

I keep worrying about if i'll offend him in any way, and if he will not want to hear what I have to say to him? And if we are just playing, and there is good vibes, I don't want to bring up his past trauma. My counselor told me that the feeling I had was the Holy Spirit, but I still feel hesitant.

This is pretty new to me, as I've never been in such a situation. And as someone who's trauma started since the day I was born, I would never have vented about something like that to a person on a video game I've known for a solid week. And as I'm only a year into Christianity, I'm stuck on how to bring the Lord into this. I've been keeping the guy in my prayers, of course.

So I'm looking for an opinion on this, basically. An idea of what to say, and how to bring it up without being rude or too blunt about it, and how to make not force Christianity onto him while still bringing God into it. This is pretty important to me, because my counselor had told me this was the first step into starting on the purpose God put me on this world for.

Thanks for reading <333

Childhood trauma can have a major effect on anyone. I would keep it simple and not stress over your counselor's expectation.
Just let him know that you are praying for him. Then send him a gospel message or two. Let him know that you are a young christian and that the good news is that the Lord can help him with that burden that wounded him as a child.

Here are some samples that you are welcome to choose from and send him the links to if you want.

Good News

Bible Way to Heaven

Gospel


Have a great week!

H&H
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,376
29,631
113
#5
You are discounting something that is of the utmost importance....
How in the world you discount the most important thing is beyond me especially when you are wanting to be a counselor and even more when you just personally demonstrated the reason why you have more influence than a professional counselor.

BE A FRIEND to this person. There's more you can do as a friend than as a counselor.

And as a friend you can talk about a funny situation that you had a church or a friend you have at church in a casual way instead of making a HUGE deal about it. (Which is usually a turnoff)

I worked for years around the same group of guys....I never once preached at them about their porn or drug habits. But they ALL knew that I was a Christian....and as overheard, "He wasn't that way" meaning I wasn't preachy or condemning.

However, when asked about "life" things....they got an earful of why following the moral compass I did was in THEIR best interests. And I even invited a few to church with me when they were really interested.

IMHO this is the best way to go about it....I had a friend who it took 8 years to come around to Jesus. He fussed at me more than once over the years because I told him (when asked) what he needed to hear instead of what he wanted to hear. I never changed once....I am who I am and am unapologetic about it. You being the same is the best advice I can give.
John, John, John... you are a man who was dealing with men, presumably face-to-face. Lilyy is a young woman
and a fairly new convert... the most important thing is NOT that this random internet stranger's needs get met.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,241
2,536
113
#6
John, John, John... you are a man who was dealing with men, presumably face-to-face. Lilyy is a young woman
and a fairly new convert... the most important thing is NOT that this random internet stranger's needs get met.
Didn't see that....
Well....so long as she doesn't try to have a romantic relationship with this guy.
"Two wounded souls" create a ward in the hospital for wounded souls...not a match made in heaven. As long as she remembers that....
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,066
3,177
113
#7
(this is pretty long ngl)

So I was playing Genshin Impact, like I usually do, and then this guy sends me a friend request. We got along pretty well, and everything seemed pretty chill. Then about 2 days ago while we were casually playing and chatting, he asks me if I wanted to hear about his "backstory". So I said, "yes" because I didnt think it would be too crazy.

Then he straight up told me that he was 5 when he watched his dad die, and then told me that he was 9 when his step-dad died from a heart attack. He said that he had PTSD, seasonal depression, severe anxiety and OCD. I was pretty shocked because I was for sure not expecting that. Especially because we had only known each other for abt a week or so.

When he had told me those things, he didn't say anything else about it. And he never mentioned it again. I felt like I had to say something to him about it, but I'm unsure of what. I don't know his religion either, but I want to bring God into it while being discreet with His name. I don't want it to seem like I'm forcing Christianity on him.

So then I talked to my Christian counselor about it, and she said that this was bound to happen, since my purpose in life is to spread the gospel and help people with their mental health. But I never thought that it would be someone who I met on a video game, and who I wasn't even super close with. And she expects me to tell her what I said to him about it on Wednesday.

And I don't want to say something to him just because my counselor told me to, I genuinely have a feeling that I need to give him words of encouragement. But another side of me is worried that I'll bring back all those bad feelings if I mention it to him. And I'm not sure how I would bring it up in the first place.

I keep worrying about if i'll offend him in any way, and if he will not want to hear what I have to say to him? And if we are just playing, and there is good vibes, I don't want to bring up his past trauma. My counselor told me that the feeling I had was the Holy Spirit, but I still feel hesitant.

This is pretty new to me, as I've never been in such a situation. And as someone who's trauma started since the day I was born, I would never have vented about something like that to a person on a video game I've known for a solid week. And as I'm only a year into Christianity, I'm stuck on how to bring the Lord into this. I've been keeping the guy in my prayers, of course.

So I'm looking for an opinion on this, basically. An idea of what to say, and how to bring it up without being rude or too blunt about it, and how to make not force Christianity onto him while still bringing God into it. This is pretty important to me, because my counselor had told me this was the first step into starting on the purpose God put me on this world for.

Thanks for reading <333
If he brought it up himself, out of thin air, it's likely bringing it up to him would be fine. But you can always ask him first. Ask if it's ok to discuss his backstory.

And perhaps ease into things about God rather than all at once. Mention that you pray for him. Offer to pray with him if he ever wants, things like that. Maybe it'll open the door to him asking you questions.
 

lilyy

New member
Jun 19, 2023
3
5
3
#8
If he brought it up himself, out of thin air, it's likely bringing it up to him would be fine. But you can always ask him first. Ask if it's ok to discuss his backstory.

And perhaps ease into things about God rather than all at once. Mention that you pray for him. Offer to pray with him if he ever wants, things like that. Maybe it'll open the door to him asking you questions.
this is literally genius oh mah gawsh ty