Placing Things on God's Shoulders?

Lenoralana · Aug 19, 2023

Hello, it has been quite a while since I've visited this forum, but I felt an urge to return because... well, there is a God-related topic I wanted to talk about with believers, although I'll admit I'm not sure if it belongs in this category because it's not specifically a Bible-related question, even if it is God-related. If there is a more appropriate space for it, please feel free to move it. ^^;

So... honestly, I am one of those people (I have been for a very long time, actually) who is still deeply questioning my faith and relationship with God, or if I even have one. For various personal reasons, I have been at odds with God for a long time, and I feel that one of the reasons why I struggle strongly with this issue is because I have genuinely felt at times, throughout the course of my life, that I couldn't really ask questions or feel free to explore or find answers that make sense to me. Simply because, there are too many knee-jerk-reactionary Christians (and similar) in this world who have personally stalled any quests for personal growth or finding answers because they were more interested in chewing my face off when I said something they didn't like or I showed I "didn't think the right way", which.... is actually more harmful than good, because it can put people off from God and tip the favor in Satan's hand, I would think.

But, that aside...

One key thing I've been struggling with is... well, I'm not sure how to put it, but I guess it kinda has to do with whether or not you can actually blame God or hold Him personally accountable in some areas. Please note: I am NOT trying to say that we should blame God when bad things happen, and I'm not saying that we should. That is not what I'm trying to get at here.

But... I just sorta had a minor epiphany today, when I was trying to sort through some of my thoughts and emotions, and figure out why I'm still uptight about some... spiritual matters, and why it sometimes feels like God failed me somehow.

And well... in conclusion, I can't help but wonder if maybe... there are some cases where some of us individuals, who were raised in Christian households, ended up with kind of a watered down sugary version of everything, about how it's all bubbly children's songs about how God loves us and will make everything work out for the best in the end. And I, personally, was raised to believe by my Christian parents that God would always take care of everything, and would never, ever let certain things happen in a million years because we are His children and He loves us.

And then... I went through a few years of Hell on Earth where God permitted some of the very things to happen that we trusted Him and believed in Him not to do... or that He would never allow to happen.

It has left me reflecting a lot on the way we (meaning myself and my family) always thought, and always did things. In a lot of ways, I guess we were usually the types who would... sorta dream big, even behave impulsively or jump feet-first into things, and we would even brag amongst ourselves that we could totally handle this or that (even if we were diving into something where we didn't have a hairy clue what we were doing...), well... it's almost just kinda like...

I think even as Christians, people can sometimes get into a mental headspace where they're living in some kind of delusional, alternate reality where they believe that, since we are taught as children to believe and trust in God, and that He will always take care of us, then... perhaps there are times when that can unintentionally, even blindly, get warped around into: "I am placing the responsibility of this on God's shoulders in the place of trust, so therefore, I can blame Him when things go wrong or don't go my way"?

I simply believe now that it is a fine line that is easy to blur, and I hadn't even realized I was doing it until today. I mean, it's almost too easy sometimes to think of the Holy Spirit as nothing more than a glowy, good-feeling, shining lightbulb that is supposed to take up residence inside of us, and maybe even provide answers or... I don't know, maybe even some kind of subtle superpower or something like candy. So then... especially as was the case in my household sometimes while I was growing up... we would just keep saying that if we got this, or invested in that, or put some moderate in starting this over here, then great things were gonna happen because clearly, if we want it, then it's what God wants, and God is totally gonna get behind it especially if we declare His name and try to slap His stamp of authority on it somehow.

Then, when things go south somehow, or we started to find we actually didn't know what we were doing, or we became overwhelmed, or that this was actually something we were no good at and it wasn't a direction we should have been going in at all... Well, didn't we trust God? Therefore, God's great big shoulders must carry the full weight of the blame, because we placed our "trust" and "belief" there.

Once again... I am just seeing now how easy it is to blur the line, in a radically twisted way, between "I am submitting to the Lord and placing full trust in Him" and, "I am placing great emphasis on what I want/what I'm daydreaming, and placing the responsibility for making it happen on God's shoulders and also the blame if it doesn't pan out the way I want."

I have also been realizing more and more that... well, it can also be very, very easy to sorta end up holding yourself and your life (and maybe even, by extension, the lives of those around you) hostage, even if that's not how you consciously think of it, because it's easy to think that you're holding out for whatever it is you "should" be getting, when all you're doing is keeping yourself chained in place. It can sometimes happen due to pressures from society or cultural expectations, or in some cases, it's because some of us are pitbulls about what we want.

Now, I'm not saying that there aren't cases where you shouldn't hold out or wait, because I believe it has been clearly stated that there are times when God wants us to wait on Him. It depends on the individual and their circumstances. But... it would seem there are also cases where it is basically the opposite, and I'm just trying to determine why that is, at least in the case of my own personal experiences. And I was simply wondering if anyone else here has any thoughts on these matters, or if anyone has ever experienced or thought similar.

Please let me know, thank you.

studentoftheword · Aug 19, 2023

Lenoralana said:

Question

So what is it that you say God permitted some things to happen to you that He says if we trust Him and believe in Him that He would not do -----???-

what hell did you experience that you think God said He would never allow to happen ----- ???

Lenoralana · Aug 19, 2023

I think some of what I was trying to convey got a tad muddled and convoluted in it's meaning and what I was trying to get at, especially since I have a way of blurring multiple facets of my life together, even if I start out trying to focus on one point and then I end up being a bit vague, I suppose, when I end up including other points. I suppose that is the tricky thing when trying to talk about something on an internet forum, especially since... nobody really knows me here, and it is an awkward medium.

Well, to answer your question... I suppose it can be narrowed down to the following:

The bad things that happened are as follows; Homelessness, mental illness, severe family dysfunction and trauma... particularly from parents who had originally promised they'd gotten their crap sorted out before they got married, so that nothing terrible would ever happen, then one cheated on the other.

But I suppose it all blurs into other things, too, like... it's not just the bad things that have happened, but also a sense of the good things that you were "supposed" to get because your parents made you a Santa Clause type promise about all the great things you were supposed to get once you grew up, and that America itself was supposed to provide for you... and all the while, they did little or nothing to prepare you for what you could actually expect in reality.

This is kinda why I say that it's easy for people to be raised in an atmosphere, as children, with sort of a sugar-coated version of everything, and it has left me rethinking what the Bible has actually said about some things. It's kinda like... you read a childified version of Jacob and Esau (and what followed) as a child, and then... maybe you grow up looking at what happened to Jacob through rose-colored glasses, and filter out the bad things he did and some of the trials and troubles that he had.

I mean, I think it can be easy to look at ANY of our favorite Bible heroes we heard all about as children through rose-colored lenses and filter out the rest. Abraham was hand-picked by God and told he'd be greatly blessed with riches and have so many descendants, they would be more numerous than the stars in the sky. Jacob seemed to have a great time of it by getting a huge family and so many sheep and goats and etc. he had wealth coming out of his ears. Jacob's son Joseph ended up basically ruling the world, at least to an extent.

If you were anything like me (and I'm not saying you were), and had kind of an extended childhood of fullblown naivety and rose-colored glasses, it's just... really easy in some ways to go on thinking that Jacob, Abraham, Joseph, etc... that God simply patted them on the shoulder and was like, "Here ya go, beloved child, just walk this way and go get your pot at the end of the rainbow now

"

Then.... if you got too deep into that mentality, it's easy to go through several stages of life where you genuinely wonder where your pot of gold is, in turn. And you wonder if God really chose you for anything, and why it is that other people seem to get things that you don't.

If that makes sense. Please pardon me if I sound ignorant or immature in any capacity... I am willing to listen to what others say and clarify my position/thoughts as necessary, so long as others are willing to do the same. ^^;

Roughsoul1991 · Aug 19, 2023

Lenoralana said:

Hello, it has been quite a while since I've visited this forum, but I felt an urge to return because... well, there is a God-related topic I wanted to talk about with believers, although I'll admit I'm not sure if it belongs in this category because it's not specifically a Bible-related question, even if it is God-related. If there is a more appropriate space for it, please feel free to move it. ^^;

So... honestly, I am one of those people (I have been for a very long time, actually) who is still deeply questioning my faith and relationship with God, or if I even have one. For various personal reasons, I have been at odds with God for a long time, and I feel that one of the reasons why I struggle strongly with this issue is because I have genuinely felt at times, throughout the course of my life, that I couldn't really ask questions or feel free to explore or find answers that make sense to me. Simply because, there are too many knee-jerk-reactionary Christians (and similar) in this world who have personally stalled any quests for personal growth or finding answers because they were more interested in chewing my face off when I said something they didn't like or I showed I "didn't think the right way", which.... is actually more harmful than good, because it can put people off from God and tip the favor in Satan's hand, I would think.

But, that aside...

One key thing I've been struggling with is... well, I'm not sure how to put it, but I guess it kinda has to do with whether or not you can actually blame God or hold Him personally accountable in some areas. Please note: I am NOT trying to say that we should blame God when bad things happen, and I'm not saying that we should. That is not what I'm trying to get at here.

But... I just sorta had a minor epiphany today, when I was trying to sort through some of my thoughts and emotions, and figure out why I'm still uptight about some... spiritual matters, and why it sometimes feels like God failed me somehow.

And well... in conclusion, I can't help but wonder if maybe... there are some cases where some of us individuals, who were raised in Christian households, ended up with kind of a watered down sugary version of everything, about how it's all bubbly children's songs about how God loves us and will make everything work out for the best in the end. And I, personally, was raised to believe by my Christian parents that God would always take care of everything, and would never, ever let certain things happen in a million years because we are His children and He loves us.

And then... I went through a few years of Hell on Earth where God permitted some of the very things to happen that we trusted Him and believed in Him not to do... or that He would never allow to happen.

It has left me reflecting a lot on the way we (meaning myself and my family) always thought, and always did things. In a lot of ways, I guess we were usually the types who would... sorta dream big, even behave impulsively or jump feet-first into things, and we would even brag amongst ourselves that we could totally handle this or that (even if we were diving into something where we didn't have a hairy clue what we were doing...), well... it's almost just kinda like...

I think even as Christians, people can sometimes get into a mental headspace where they're living in some kind of delusional, alternate reality where they believe that, since we are taught as children to believe and trust in God, and that He will always take care of us, then... perhaps there are times when that can unintentionally, even blindly, get warped around into: "I am placing the responsibility of this on God's shoulders in the place of trust, so therefore, I can blame Him when things go wrong or don't go my way"?

I simply believe now that it is a fine line that is easy to blur, and I hadn't even realized I was doing it until today. I mean, it's almost too easy sometimes to think of the Holy Spirit as nothing more than a glowy, good-feeling, shining lightbulb that is supposed to take up residence inside of us, and maybe even provide answers or... I don't know, maybe even some kind of subtle superpower or something like candy. So then... especially as was the case in my household sometimes while I was growing up... we would just keep saying that if we got this, or invested in that, or put some moderate in starting this over here, then great things were gonna happen because clearly, if we want it, then it's what God wants, and God is totally gonna get behind it especially if we declare His name and try to slap His stamp of authority on it somehow.

Then, when things go south somehow, or we started to find we actually didn't know what we were doing, or we became overwhelmed, or that this was actually something we were no good at and it wasn't a direction we should have been going in at all... Well, didn't we trust God? Therefore, God's great big shoulders must carry the full weight of the blame, because we placed our "trust" and "belief" there.

Once again... I am just seeing now how easy it is to blur the line, in a radically twisted way, between "I am submitting to the Lord and placing full trust in Him" and, "I am placing great emphasis on what I want/what I'm daydreaming, and placing the responsibility for making it happen on God's shoulders and also the blame if it doesn't pan out the way I want."

I have also been realizing more and more that... well, it can also be very, very easy to sorta end up holding yourself and your life (and maybe even, by extension, the lives of those around you) hostage, even if that's not how you consciously think of it, because it's easy to think that you're holding out for whatever it is you "should" be getting, when all you're doing is keeping yourself chained in place. It can sometimes happen due to pressures from society or cultural expectations, or in some cases, it's because some of us are pitbulls about what we want.

Now, I'm not saying that there aren't cases where you shouldn't hold out or wait, because I believe it has been clearly stated that there are times when God wants us to wait on Him. It depends on the individual and their circumstances. But... it would seem there are also cases where it is basically the opposite, and I'm just trying to determine why that is, at least in the case of my own personal experiences. And I was simply wondering if anyone else here has any thoughts on these matters, or if anyone has ever experienced or thought similar.

Please let me know, thank you.

I believe that you are heading down a great path in this walk we call faith. You are beginning to see the cracks in bad theology and it can be very uncomfortable as it will challenge much of what you thought you knew.

It will not be easy but you must be very diligent to now test everything against the scriptures not just a verse but the entirety of scripture.

You sound like a logical thinking person which is great for a Bible student or the scholar. Practicing good hermeneutics is crucial to weeding out bad theology.

Studying apologetics is wonderful in itself as it provides answers to the difficult questions many object to.

God is indeed responsible for many things whereas in other things humans, evil, and natural forces are to blame. Theology can help unblur the lines enough to get a good idea but there are always gray areas in the unknown.

Hope this helps.

NightTwister · Aug 19, 2023

Reading Job would probably help you a lot.

studentoftheword · Aug 19, 2023

Personally I think you have a very wrong concept of God ----Someone has been feeding you wrongly ----

This I get from what your posting here------

But... I just sorta had a minor epiphany today, when I was trying to sort through some of my thoughts and emotions, and figure out why I'm still uptight about some... spiritual matters, and why it sometimes feels like God failed me somehow.

I say -----God never fails us ------We are the ones who fail God ------

Your comment here
Now, I'm not saying that there aren't cases where you shouldn't hold out or wait, because I believe it has been clearly stated that there are times when God wants us to wait on Him.
It depends on the individual and their circumstances.

I say ----If your a Born Again person then you should be trusting God in all situations and should always wait on God's time to get you through your situation -----
If your not Born Again then Spiritually your away from God and Satan is your god ----

Your last statement here ------It depends on the individual and their circumstances

Goes against scripture ----as your suggesting that God shows Favoritism ------when Scripture is very clear that God does not show any favoritism to anyone ------

Now here YOU say this ------
it's just... really easy in some ways to go on thinking that Jacob, Abraham, Joseph, etc... that God simply patted them on the shoulder and was like, "Here ya go, beloved child, just walk this way and go get your pot at the end of the rainbow now

I say -------Again this shows that you do not understand God and how He works ----as you seem to be taking this as God is showing favoritism here to these people --So you have been Spiritually fed wrong -

----God had a plan before He created this world -----Noah ---Abraham ---Jacob and Isaac ---Joseph--Jonah --David etc --etc were all chosen before God created this Earth ---He used these people to bring about His plan in the Old testament ---and His plan is still playing out today and the people He will use have already been picked for His future use before He created this world -----Every single piece of the puzzle for God to destroy this earth and bring a New heaven and Earth is already in place -----and it will happen on God's time ----we have to wait on His Timing -----

Please NOTE :----Not Criticizing you here---- but you need some TRUE Holy Spirit indwelled Christians to teach you rightly about understanding God and His Word -----

I don't know you --nor do i know if you have really received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour----- but from what I have read from your post is that whoever has been feeding you about God has not been doing a good job ----and your understanding of who God is and How He works and what He expects of His true Children is lacking severely -----Just from the couple of quotes I posted from your post -----

When you get the right teaching your Faith will strengthen and you will begin to understand more and your life will turn for the better -----

YOUR QUOTE HERE ------
The bad things that happened are as follows; Homelessness, mental illness, severe family dysfunction and trauma...

God wants no one homeless ----God wants no one to have mental illness ----nor does he condone severe family dysfunction or trauma -----Satan is the destroyer of Families -----there is a Generational curse in place ---as well ----- Exodus 20 ---verses 5 and then read 6 ----

4 “You shall not make for yourself any idol, or any likeness (form, manifestation) of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth [as an object to worship].

5 You shall not worship them nor serve them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous (impassioned) God [[a]demanding what is rightfully and uniquely mine], visiting (avenging) the iniquity (sin, guilt) of the fathers on the children [that is, calling the children to account for the sins of their fathers], to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me,

6 but showing graciousness and steadfast lovingkindness to thousands [of generations] of those who love Me and keep My commandments.

I say

God does Test our Faith in Him ----but He always provides us a way out ---and He never tests us beyond what we can handle ----and all true Christians will experience persecution ----

Jesus was hated and so shall all born again people be hated ----Jesus was persecuted and so will all who are true Christians be persecuted ------

My Prayer and hope for you is that you find True Christians who will teach your Rightly about God and His Word so you can experience God Goodness and peacefulness in your life -------

Jesus said -------The Thief here is Satan ----

Lenoralana · Aug 19, 2023

Okay, please forgive me for going off-topic here for a moment, (especially since I feel this is more of a site-technical issue than anything pertaining to this topic...) but... one of the strangest things has just happened.

I was typing up a thorough post to answer what you said, and clarify my position and little more/go over a couple more things I wanted to address, and... something happened where, just as I was finishing up my heartfelt and well-written post, my keyboard and cursor went NUTS and just started backspacing/erasing everything I wrote, and... I had to leave the site for a moment, and now my post has been lost.

And now I can't even remember half of what I wrote or how I said it.

For the time-being, I would just like to leave this with a request, I guess... Part of me can't help but wonder if demons might be interfering somehow to try and keep me from God, especially when I am trying to get to the heart of my problems and have a heartfelt discussion about God.

Could you guys please pray that I can continue to work through these issues, and that the devil will just butt out and leave me alone? I mean... I say this in particular because I did struggle with demonic oppression years ago, and sometimes I wonder if all of the demons have gone away or not.

FollowingtheWay · Aug 19, 2023

Lenoralana said:

ahh! That deceiver and accuser! I will pray for you . I’ve had many a battle with that rascal and his goons. He still try’s to get at me from time to time. I know this might sound easier than it is but when the attack comes remind him it is written of his fate. Remind him of his fate then remind yourself through scripture that you are a child of God. That you are Christs friend.
I have some verses for you to reflect on and meditate on. We are in a very real and active spiritual war that some perhaps well intentioned yet misguided Christians try to minimize. First and foremost we fight (from)victory not (for)victory. Christ won the war but we are charged to fight the daily battles. I have some cliff notes while not exhaustive I can provide on spiritual warfare but let’s start with this. Who you are in Christ-

Lenora God is telling you that :

You are God's child (John 1:12).
You are Christ's friend (John 15:15).
You have been justified (Romans 5:1).
You are united with the Lord, and you are one spirit with Him(1 Corinthians 6:17).
You have been bought with a price: you belong to God (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
You are a member of Christ's body (1Corinthians 12:27).
You are a saint, a holy one (Ephesians 1:1).
You have been adopted as God's child (Ephesians 1:5).
You have direct access to God through the Holy Spirit (Ephesians2:18).
You have been redeemed and forgiven of all your sins (Colossians 1:14).

You are free from condemnation (Romans 8:1-2).

You are assured that all things work together for good.
(Romans 8:28).

You are free from any condemning charges against you (Romans
8:31-34).

You cannot be separated from the love of God (Romans 8:35.39)

You have been established, anointed, and sealed by God (2 Coninthians1:21-22).

You can be confident that the good work God has begun in you will be perfected (Philippians 1:6).

You are a citizen of heaven (Philippians 3:20).

You are hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).

You have NOT not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7).

You can find grace and mercy to help in time of need (Hebrews4:16.
You are born of God, and the evil one cannot touch you (1 John5:18).

In prayer you can renounce the lies that may come into your mind -these thoughts that come in saying - I am worthless, inadequate, helpless, or hopeless are not your thoughts- - reflect instead the truth that

In Christ you are significant. God says:
You are the salt of the earth and the light of the world (Math5:13-14).

You are a branch of the true vine, Jesus , a channel of His life John 15:1.5)

You have been chosen and appointed by God to bear fruit (John11:16
You are a personal. Spirit-empowered witness of Christ's (Acts18.
You are a temple of God (1 Corinthians 3:16).
You are a minister of reconciliation for God (2Corinthians5:17-21).
You are a fellow worker with God. (2 Corinthians6:1).
You are seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 2:6).
You are God's workmanship, created for good works (Ephesians.2:10).
You may approach God with freedom and confidence (Ephesians3:12).

SpeakTruth101 · Aug 19, 2023

Proverbs 3:5-7, “Trust in יהוה with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; Know Him in all your ways, And He makes all your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear יהוה and turn away from evil.”

Genesis 4:6-7 “YHWH said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why has the expression of your face fallen? If you do well, will it not be lifted up? If you don’t do well, sin crouches at the door. Its desire is for you, but you are to rule over it.”

Matthew 4:1-4, " 1 Then יהושע was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tried by the devil. 2 And after having fasted forty days and forty nights, He was hungry. 3 And the trier came and said to Him, “If You are the Son of Elohim, command that these stones become bread.” 4 But He answering, said, “It has been written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of יהוה.’ ”

James 1:12-18, “Blessed is the man who does endure trial, for when he has been proved, he shall receive the crown of life which the Master has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is enticed, “I am enticed by Yah,” for Yah is not enticed by evil matters, and He entices no one. But each one is enticed when he is drawn away by his own desires and trapped. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin. And sin, when it has been accomplished, brings forth death. Do not go astray, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of light, with whom there is no change, nor shadow of turning. Having purposed it, He brought us forth by the Word of truth, for us to be a kind of first-fruits of His creatures.”

SpeakTruth101 · Aug 19, 2023

Hebrews 12:3-17, For consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and faint in your lives."4, You have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin."5, And you have forgotten the appeal which speaks to you as to sons, “My son, do not despise the discipline of יהוה, nor faint when you are reproved by Him,"6, for whom יהוה loves, He disciplines, and flogs every son whom He receives.” Pro 3:11-12."7, If you endure discipline, Yah is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom a father does not discipline?"8, But if you are without discipline, of which all have become sharers, then you are illegitimate and not sons."9, Moreover, we indeed had fathers of our flesh disciplining us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live?"10, For they indeed disciplined us for a few days as seemed best to them, but He does it for our profit, so that we might share His apartness."11, And indeed, no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but grievous, but afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."12, So, strengthen the hands which hang down and the weak knees, Isa 35:3."13, and make straight paths for your feet, lest the lame be turned aside, but instead, to be healed."14, Pursue peace with all, and pursue apartness without which no one shall see the Master."15, See to it that no one falls short of the favor of Yah, that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, by which many become defiled,"16, lest there be anyone who whores, or profane one, like Ěsaw, who for a single meal sold his birthright. 17, For you know that afterward, when he wished to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it with tears."

SpeakTruth101 · Aug 19, 2023

Check this out, it is archeological evidence of the Exodus and even the parting of the sea, a amazing near unbelieveable thing and there is evidence.

SpeakTruth101 · Aug 19, 2023

a slighty longer version

FollowingtheWay · Aug 19, 2023

Lenoralana said:

I’d like you to also reflect on these statements. Because we cannot fight the enemy if we believe terrible things about ourselves.
this correction began to change everything for me.

Telling yourself : you are a sinner saved by grace every morning…. You are programming your mind to sin against God.

Correct statement is that-I am a saint, walking in the presence of the Son of God. In His strength and His Power. saved by the grace of God. If I stumble , if I faulter or sin He will forgive me and I will keep walking in His presence.

The same Lord God who calls me to love calls me to stand. Heart of compassion/backbone of steel

Courage is the right action even in the midst of fear. Cowardly is running because of the fear.
The courageous feel the same fear but are running to the problem to fix it rather than running to the door. There is not a single fear God can’t handle

Karlon · Aug 19, 2023

Lenoralana said:

Hello, it has been quite a while since I've visited this forum, but I felt an urge to return because... well, there is a God-related topic I wanted to talk about with believers, although I'll admit I'm not sure if it belongs in this category because it's not specifically a Bible-related question, even if it is God-related. If there is a more appropriate space for it, please feel free to move it. ^^;

So... honestly, I am one of those people (I have been for a very long time, actually) who is still deeply questioning my faith and relationship with God, or if I even have one. For various personal reasons, I have been at odds with God for a long time, and I feel that one of the reasons why I struggle strongly with this issue is because I have genuinely felt at times, throughout the course of my life, that I couldn't really ask questions or feel free to explore or find answers that make sense to me. Simply because, there are too many knee-jerk-reactionary Christians (and similar) in this world who have personally stalled any quests for personal growth or finding answers because they were more interested in chewing my face off when I said something they didn't like or I showed I "didn't think the right way", which.... is actually more harmful than good, because it can put people off from God and tip the favor in Satan's hand, I would think.

But, that aside...

One key thing I've been struggling with is... well, I'm not sure how to put it, but I guess it kinda has to do with whether or not you can actually blame God or hold Him personally accountable in some areas. Please note: I am NOT trying to say that we should blame God when bad things happen, and I'm not saying that we should. That is not what I'm trying to get at here.

But... I just sorta had a minor epiphany today, when I was trying to sort through some of my thoughts and emotions, and figure out why I'm still uptight about some... spiritual matters, and why it sometimes feels like God failed me somehow.

And well... in conclusion, I can't help but wonder if maybe... there are some cases where some of us individuals, who were raised in Christian households, ended up with kind of a watered down sugary version of everything, about how it's all bubbly children's songs about how God loves us and will make everything work out for the best in the end. And I, personally, was raised to believe by my Christian parents that God would always take care of everything, and would never, ever let certain things happen in a million years because we are His children and He loves us.

And then... I went through a few years of Hell on Earth where God permitted some of the very things to happen that we trusted Him and believed in Him not to do... or that He would never allow to happen.

It has left me reflecting a lot on the way we (meaning myself and my family) always thought, and always did things. In a lot of ways, I guess we were usually the types who would... sorta dream big, even behave impulsively or jump feet-first into things, and we would even brag amongst ourselves that we could totally handle this or that (even if we were diving into something where we didn't have a hairy clue what we were doing...), well... it's almost just kinda like...

I think even as Christians, people can sometimes get into a mental headspace where they're living in some kind of delusional, alternate reality where they believe that, since we are taught as children to believe and trust in God, and that He will always take care of us, then... perhaps there are times when that can unintentionally, even blindly, get warped around into: "I am placing the responsibility of this on God's shoulders in the place of trust, so therefore, I can blame Him when things go wrong or don't go my way"?

I simply believe now that it is a fine line that is easy to blur, and I hadn't even realized I was doing it until today. I mean, it's almost too easy sometimes to think of the Holy Spirit as nothing more than a glowy, good-feeling, shining lightbulb that is supposed to take up residence inside of us, and maybe even provide answers or... I don't know, maybe even some kind of subtle superpower or something like candy. So then... especially as was the case in my household sometimes while I was growing up... we would just keep saying that if we got this, or invested in that, or put some moderate in starting this over here, then great things were gonna happen because clearly, if we want it, then it's what God wants, and God is totally gonna get behind it especially if we declare His name and try to slap His stamp of authority on it somehow.

Then, when things go south somehow, or we started to find we actually didn't know what we were doing, or we became overwhelmed, or that this was actually something we were no good at and it wasn't a direction we should have been going in at all... Well, didn't we trust God? Therefore, God's great big shoulders must carry the full weight of the blame, because we placed our "trust" and "belief" there.

Once again... I am just seeing now how easy it is to blur the line, in a radically twisted way, between "I am submitting to the Lord and placing full trust in Him" and, "I am placing great emphasis on what I want/what I'm daydreaming, and placing the responsibility for making it happen on God's shoulders and also the blame if it doesn't pan out the way I want."

I have also been realizing more and more that... well, it can also be very, very easy to sorta end up holding yourself and your life (and maybe even, by extension, the lives of those around you) hostage, even if that's not how you consciously think of it, because it's easy to think that you're holding out for whatever it is you "should" be getting, when all you're doing is keeping yourself chained in place. It can sometimes happen due to pressures from society or cultural expectations, or in some cases, it's because some of us are pitbulls about what we want.

Now, I'm not saying that there aren't cases where you shouldn't hold out or wait, because I believe it has been clearly stated that there are times when God wants us to wait on Him. It depends on the individual and their circumstances. But... it would seem there are also cases where it is basically the opposite, and I'm just trying to determine why that is, at least in the case of my own personal experiences. And I was simply wondering if anyone else here has any thoughts on these matters, or if anyone has ever experienced or thought similar.

Please let me know, thank you.

the devil attacks anyone anytime. he doesn't want anyone joining God's team! become a born again Christian, totally, & the Holy Spirit will begin living in you forever. He is the comforter & teacher. read & learn John 3:5, 14:26, John 16:13, John 3:33, 1st John 5:10,13. the Holy Spirit does all the revealing of the truth of God's word!

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Placing Things on God's Shoulders?

Lenoralana

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studentoftheword

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Roughsoul1991

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FollowingtheWay

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SpeakTruth101

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Karlon

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