Need encouragement. Married to unbeliever

May I ask how old your children are?

I am going to offer you two pieces of biblical advice, and if you can keep the balance between the two of them, then I think that your situation will have the best chance to change for the better.

On the one hand, there is this:

1 Peter 3:1-6

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement."

In the case of a woman with an unsaved husband or a husband who obeys not the word, you need to try to win him without the word. In other words, do not preach to him verbally because you need to try to win him without the word.

How can you do that?

Through your chaste conversation coupled with fear (as in the fear of God).

Conversation is an old English word that means manner of life, or lifestyle, or behavior.

In other words, let him observe your chaste devotion to Christ, and that can turn his heart. God's word encourages you to try to maintain a meek and quiet spirit around him as opposed to being proud and loud. That is not me accusing you of anything by any means. Instead, I am merely seeking to show you how God's word instructs you to handle your present situation.

On the other hand, this same Peter said this to a wife who agreed together with her husband to tempt the Spirit of the Lord:

Acts 5:9-10

"Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out. Then fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying her forth, buried her by her husband."

In other words, even though God would have you to submit to your own husband, he would never have you to submit to anything evil that your husband might be doing. Your first devotion needs to always be to Christ himself.

If you can maintain a balance between these two things, then I believe that the Lord can best move in your present situation.

Thank you for your reply
Yes I know preaching at him isn’t any way to win him to the Lord
I learned that the hard way in the beginning. I’ve totally stopped that and leaving that job to the Holy Spirit to convict him if that’s Gods will.
I just feel like I have to compromise so much. yes he’s not leading me into sin but I can’t do the things I want to do
I want to go to church more and serve there
And have fellowship
I can’t even pray out loud at the dinner table before meals
Only silently in my head.

I will be praying for you.

You cannot force him to convert but you have a unique place and position of influence to reach this man where no one else has been able to reach at this point. You cannot go above him but you can call forth his masculinity in appropriate ways. Kinda sounds like he thinks he’s a tough guy, which he’s probably using that façade to hide how hurt, scared and broken he is inside. This is just a Holy Spirit prompting but Does he like to watch crime shows or action movies?

thank you for your prayers
Yes he likes dateline. etc.
Not into action movies.

Do you think he would he watch a drama about cops? Similar to shows like the rookie? Or blue bloods?

No not so much

I understand. I have no idea what the laws are like where you live, but I know that, by me, a spouse has legal rights to take their children to church if he or she wants to. If you have that legal right, and you probably do, then, personally, I would use it. Just tell him politely and respectfully that you have a right to do so. If he were to try to pull the children from Christian school in retaliation, then that could cause him legal problems as well. Again, I am suggesting that you might want to enforce your legal rights respectfully. From what you have been describing, he is probably violating the law.

What I’ve got Is a list of particular movies that fit into a couple different areas of Christianity as it relates to a man’s daily life. Would he sit through a movie with you at all? If so does he like sports, like football?

I don’t think that would go over well at all
he thinks he’s compromising enough because
he’s letting me take the kids to church twice a month

I’m not nagging him to go to church himself

I just want the freedom to go regularly and actually enough to have fellowship

if he doesn’t want anything to do with Christianity well fine but holding me back like this is really frustrating

He’s not into sports really. He likes soccer but not a huge sports fan
but I can try to see if he would watch one. Never know. Thanks

Hi everyone
Being married to an unbelieving spouse is so hard. We were both unsaved when married. We had a form or religion but not a saving faith. Now that I’m a born again believer everything has been a struggle. My husband calls me a Bible thumper or an extremist because I’m on fire for the Lord. It’s like he’s holding me spiritually captive. I feel like I’m being shoved into a box and that fire I have is going to turn into a bomb.
I can only go to church with the kids twice a month. And I can’t go to any Bible study groups or basically be involved in the church.

My kids go to a Christian school and I can talk to them about Jesus but that’s all he’s willing to give right now.
(He thinks I’m brainwashing the children)

I want to have fellowship with other believers and going to church twice a month is not enough.

If I challenge him and do whatever I want he will make it difficult for me. He will tell the children Jesus is not real and potentially take them out of christian school.

I want to be angry and hate him because of how I feel. It’s so hard to love those who persecute you.
I pray everyday the Lord gives me strength to love him. He needs Jesus… I fantasize of him being saved and being the spiritual Leader of the household and discipling our children together.

I can’t abandon my marriage because I don’t have grounds for divorce. That would only make things worse for my children. There’s nothing I want more for my children than their salvation.

Please pray for my situation

Hi everyone
Being married to an unbelieving spouse is so hard. We were both unsaved when married. We had a form or religion but not a saving faith. Now that I’m a born again believer everything has been a struggle. My husband calls me a Bible thumper or an extremist because I’m on fire for the Lord. It’s like he’s holding me spiritually captive. I feel like I’m being shoved into a box and that fire I have is going to turn into a bomb.
I can only go to church with the kids twice a month. And I can’t go to any Bible study groups or basically be involved in the church.

My kids go to a Christian school and I can talk to them about Jesus but that’s all he’s willing to give right now.
(He thinks I’m brainwashing the children)

I want to have fellowship with other believers and going to church twice a month is not enough.

If I challenge him and do whatever I want he will make it difficult for me. He will tell the children Jesus is not real and potentially take them out of christian school.

I want to be angry and hate him because of how I feel. It’s so hard to love those who persecute you.
I pray everyday the Lord gives me strength to love him. He needs Jesus… I fantasize of him being saved and being the spiritual Leader of the household and discipling our children together.

I can’t abandon my marriage because I don’t have grounds for divorce. That would only make things worse for my children. There’s nothing I want more for my children than their salvation.

Please pray for my situation

Hi everyone
Being married to an unbelieving spouse is so hard. We were both unsaved when married. We had a form or religion but not a saving faith. Now that I’m a born again believer everything has been a struggle. My husband calls me a Bible thumper or an extremist because I’m on fire for the Lord. It’s like he’s holding me spiritually captive. I feel like I’m being shoved into a box and that fire I have is going to turn into a bomb.
I can only go to church with the kids twice a month. And I can’t go to any Bible study groups or basically be involved in the church.

My kids go to a Christian school and I can talk to them about Jesus but that’s all he’s willing to give right now.
(He thinks I’m brainwashing the children)

I want to have fellowship with other believers and going to church twice a month is not enough.

If I challenge him and do whatever I want he will make it difficult for me. He will tell the children Jesus is not real and potentially take them out of christian school.

I want to be angry and hate him because of how I feel. It’s so hard to love those who persecute you.
I pray everyday the Lord gives me strength to love him. He needs Jesus… I fantasize of him being saved and being the spiritual Leader of the household and discipling our children together.

I can’t abandon my marriage because I don’t have grounds for divorce. That would only make things worse for my children. There’s nothing I want more for my children than their salvation.

Please pray for my situation