You are truly in a difficult position. My grandmother found herself in the same situation. She had been twice married when she became a Christian, on her third marriage. He husband was an alcoholic. I use to think my grandmother was some sort of saint because of what she endured. But as an adult I understand she lived some very lonely and difficult times. She was able to hold on, and her husband stopped the drinking and became saved before he passed on. Now she did have someone to rely on because my father and mother were both saved. I know that was a great help to her. But God used a rather odd way to help reach her husband, myself and my sister.I hardly recall it, we were so young. But both of us would "preach" to him. I don't think he liked at first but then he thought it was funny. So he would get us started and found it entertaining because we were so young. But he was receiving the Word and didn't know it. My mother told me I started, as the eldest, and then my sister started on him. It wasn't long before his heart began to soften. He wouldn't go in to a service, but he would sit in his car if there was an outdoor service ( churches need to understand how important these are) and listen, or go to the Christian camp and sit in his car and listen. The next thing he was watching on tv. Before he died he gave his heart to the Lord and he and my father were able to heal their relationship. As a young man my father had hated him, but in the end they became as close as a real father and son.
Now I'm not saying this happened overnight, without prayer and fasting, and a lot of tears. I know my grandmother went through hell for many years and wanted to give up. And I'm not saying to use your kids to preach to your husband, that was a God thing. But would your husband go to church if there was a musical group there? Would he go if the children where in a play? An open air service? Little things like that where there is no pressure on them. Have you ever watched the movie "War Room"? It's a Christian movie of how a woman takes to her prayer closet to save her marriage. Try to think of small ways you can expose him to the truth without exposing him to the truth.
Lastly, try to understand if he had been the one that had gotten saved, how would you have reacted? Maybe you would have taken it better than him, maybe not. But try not to be burdened with what he won't let you do. Think of it as what his SPIRIT won't let you do. It isn't really your husband, it's the spirit in him fighting to keep him bound, no matter how free he might wish to be. God may have to bring him to a hard place. Try not to take offense and just down deep say "devil you can try, but you are not getting my family!" See your real enemy and put on the armor of God and fight!! This is 100% spiritual. If you take the focus off him and put it straight on your enemy, that might be a big help. Don't give in, don't give up. Hold fast and stand in the gap for your family. I believe God will give you the desires of your heart. Blessings sister.
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