Hello Christian Chat Community

Hello everyone-

my name is Daniel and I'm sincerely seeking greater fellowship within the Christian community right now. I don't know where to begin about myself but I can say without a doubt that I am currently enduring the most difficult trial ever in my entire life and I've been in the thick of this for about 3+ years now. You could call it a sort of wilderness period-- a long lonely and extremely desolate wilderness. Until a few years ago I was not earnestly pursuing a relationship with God-- but thankfully He brought me to the point of absolute weakness and need where I recognized that the only way forward in life was by His helping hand. The Lord has been humbling me and bringing me through a fiery trial. Honestly it's brutally challenging and seems like it will literally never end. I have seen God's hand move in a number of significant ways though. Without going into all the details I will say that nearly 2 years ago now God finally made it clear to me that He is calling me into Christian leadership ministry. I have been diligently following through on that, even though I don't have a clear-cut path for how it will work out. There's more to it than that. God made a couple of promises to me. I know He did. He made them so crystal clear. It's very easy to doubt them these days. I feel like I'm wasting away and my life is going nowhere. I'm extremely lonely right now. Still struggling with certain sinful tendencies. I also just started attending an online seminary a couple weeks ago, on track in a program to earn a certificate in Biblical studies. That's the only thing helping me move forward right now. At least it establishes some kind of definite goal. But I am very much struggling right now. I feel like the wilderness will never end. It's easy to become extremely discouraged and depressed these days. My whole life depends upon the faithfulness of God. I'm looking forward to connecting with brothers and sisters in Christ. It certainly means a lot to me when I can hear words of wisdom or encouragement from others who have been walking closely with the Lord for a long time and know Him well. I find myself crying out to God in desperation again and again throughout the day. I know God has been leading me in these past few years-- but when it started out I never imagined the journey was going to be this difficult. I wonder if/when I will ever make it out the other side of this trial. One thing is for sure: it will only happen by the grace of God and in His timing.
Now I know that waiting on God is the hardest thing I've ever done.

A current life verse for me is Job 23:10- "But He knoweth the way that I take; when He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. " (KJV)

Thank you for your time. God bless you all.

Welcome to the site. Wish your beginning here was under less duress. And you do need to be in Christian fellowship. Are you attending a local church?

yes I am. It's a pretty large church actually. I also attend its CR (celebrate recovery) group as well as a small group for Bible study.

Hello everyone-

my name is Daniel and I'm sincerely seeking greater fellowship within the Christian community right now. I don't know where to begin about myself but I can say without a doubt that I am currently enduring the most difficult trial ever in my entire life and I've been in the thick of this for about 3+ years now. You could call it a sort of wilderness period-- a long lonely and extremely desolate wilderness. Until a few years ago I was not earnestly pursuing a relationship with God-- but thankfully He brought me to the point of absolute weakness and need where I recognized that the only way forward in life was by His helping hand. The Lord has been humbling me and bringing me through a fiery trial. Honestly it's brutally challenging and seems like it will literally never end. I have seen God's hand move in a number of significant ways though. Without going into all the details I will say that nearly 2 years ago now God finally made it clear to me that He is calling me into Christian leadership ministry. I have been diligently following through on that, even though I don't have a clear-cut path for how it will work out. There's more to it than that. God made a couple of promises to me. I know He did. He made them so crystal clear. It's very easy to doubt them these days. I feel like I'm wasting away and my life is going nowhere. I'm extremely lonely right now. Still struggling with certain sinful tendencies. I also just started attending an online seminary a couple weeks ago, on track in a program to earn a certificate in Biblical studies. That's the only thing helping me move forward right now. At least it establishes some kind of definite goal. But I am very much struggling right now. I feel like the wilderness will never end. It's easy to become extremely discouraged and depressed these days. My whole life depends upon the faithfulness of God. I'm looking forward to connecting with brothers and sisters in Christ. It certainly means a lot to me when I can hear words of wisdom or encouragement from others who have been walking closely with the Lord for a long time and know Him well. I find myself crying out to God in desperation again and again throughout the day. I know God has been leading me in these past few years-- but when it started out I never imagined the journey was going to be this difficult. I wonder if/when I will ever make it out the other side of this trial. One thing is for sure: it will only happen by the grace of God and in His timing.
Now I know that waiting on God is the hardest thing I've ever done.

A current life verse for me is Job 23:10- "But He knoweth the way that I take; when He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. " (KJV)

Thank you for your time. God bless you all.

That's good. Have you shared with anyone there the calling you believe God has placed on your life?

yes I have shared it with a number of people there, particularly at the celebrate recovery group. they have all been pretty encouraging to me about it.
im learning the hard way that God likes to take us through a long rough wilderness before He will use us for any great purpose

Matthew Everhard has done some recent videos about those pondering the ministry.

I encourage you to watch them and contemplate the content deeply.

Here’s one of his latest.

extra details:
I'm 39 years old and for 4 years I was a high school teacher, but I left that profession over 6 years ago after failing miserably in it. Since then it's been an uphill battle trying to navigate my life's next direction. I had a part time job recently for a couple months but failed at that too and lost it over a month ago. I'm experiencing a lot of isolation, loneliness, and stagnation at this point.

extra details:
I'm 39 years old and for 4 years I was a high school teacher, but I left that profession over 6 years ago after failing miserably in it. Since then it's been an uphill battle trying to navigate my life's next direction. I had a part time job recently for a couple months but failed at that too and lost it over a month ago. I'm experiencing a lot of isolation, loneliness, and stagnation at this point.

There's a reason for that. Have you ever considered that Moses spent 40 years on the backside of the desert learning how to shepherd God's people?
Moses is a picture of what you are experiencing. He understood that God wanted Him to lead His people. But it took 40 years of training to get Him ready to lead God's people God's way.
It might be worth your while to study what Moses was like when he was called and what he was like when he was sent. You'll probably gain a better understanding of what God must take a person through to prepare them to be a leader of God's choosing.

Welcome Daniel

Thank you for sharing a little about yourself. I pray you find the friends you are looking for as well as have some good fellowship here.

I can understand where you are coming from, I too am in a similar spot. I dedicated my life to the lord 1-9-2022 after being away from him at about 7 years old. I also am having problems with a sin in my life and can see a trial on my path because of it. I also feel a bit alone sometimes because outside of my church family I'm surrounded by non believers all day long. It's hard at times but I redirect my focus upon the lord and I find myself not so alone anymore. I took feel like I'm a bit stagnant or idling a bit and know I need change to grow closer to the lord. I am thankful to hear you have a love for the lord and crying out to him is a good thing, we are to be renewed daily. I can see such a big difference in my life when I'm in constant thought of the lord. Being in prayer and in his word helps me to always be aware of his presence. If the lord is speaking to you, listen and let him lead you. He loves us. I'll be praying for you.
Make sure to checkout the forums, there are good conversations and don't be bashful on asking a question if you have one.
God bless😊

Hello brother Daniel! God's word says He will NEVER leave or forsake us. I too feel alone but the Holy Spirit reminds me that I am actually NEVER alone. Remember Jesus walks us through these trials and tribulations of this life. But your story isn't over! God is not done with us yet! Hold your head high brother because we are seated with our savior Jesus Christ in heavenly places 🙏🏽 be of good cheer! God bless you 💓

yes thank you. I also reflect a lot on the story of Joseph and what he endured for over 10 years waiting on God.
My entire life depends on the faithfulness of God.