Feeling lost (long post)

Quick reminder that I'm not saved or anything of the sort



These last 3 months have been extremely rough for my mental

I'm losing all of my friends (or who I considered my friends to be)



We got along great in the first few months of meeting each other (about 8 of us met through a social media platform similar to Myspace, and found out that we lived near each other. And the rest we met at school, the park, ect.)


Some drama broke out between 2 of my friends, and it got so bad that one of them relapsed with SH and gradually stopped talking to us. I'm still in contact with them but they're really distant from everyone and we barely talk anymore. And the other person cut everyone off completely because we still kept in contact with the one they were arguing with


Then this girl who I consider my best friend started crushing on someone, and ended up cutting herself for her crush, starving herself to look like their ideal SO, which she ended up in the hospital for on multiple occasions (and has been in the hospital since last week)


And my friend Asher, who kept going in and out of a mental hospital almost every two months or so, went on Twitter and started posting about how he was going to attempt an overdose. We were all worried and we couldn't go to his house because we didn't know where he lived. After 10 minutes or so he said that he regretted the attempt and was crying because he didn't want to die, but also didn't want to call anyone for help. He eventually said that he would call Poison Control or something but kept hesitating until I had to convince him myself. He ended up calling, but got admitted to a mental hospital by his mom around last month and I doubt he'll be coming out this month or the next.


Then Cole, who I've known the longest, committed suicide after his birthday and no one bothered to tell me only after a week when I started asking about where he went.

This influenced me into a depressive episode that lasted over 2 weeks and when I started becoming more social again, I found out that my friend Milo passed away due to blood loss from her self-harming.


My friend Martin started ghosting me and Avery, and he hasn't come to school last week but he's been online so me and Avery decided to let him have his space.

Avery seems fine but comes to school with fresh cuts almost every day and it keeps triggering my own urges which are hard to ignore. We still talk but always end up sulking about our friends who have passed, which makes us distance yourself even more than we already have.

I keep regretting the decision of making friends with them in the first place, because all we ever did was joke about the worst things, were always hyperactive to the point where it got out of control, and were just so negative to each other and thinking that it was normal since it have us a 'happy' distraction from our deteriorating mental health. I feel useless for not being able to do anything, and I keep relapsing in SH and my other bad habits. I honestly wish that I was dead because I feel like it's all I deserve for being such a terrible person.

You need to upgrade your friends, and the first step is to upgrade yourself. You are with the wrong crowd. Don't abandon your current friends, but set boundaries and pray for them. You care about your friends but you also need to care about yourself.

Precious friend, sorry to hear - I will pray for you.
Please Be Very Richly Encouraged and Comforted In:

God's Grace Word for our infirmities!

Amen.

People are free to make their own decisions. We can see people making truly bad choices and attempt to intervene, but there's no guarantees.

You are not responsible for what they chose. And with you having your own struggles it puts you in less of a place to help, at the moment. That's the blind leading the blind.

But you are responsible for your choices about yourself and your own life. Surrounding yourself with other broken people only gives you an excuse to not focus on yourself. Excuse to not face your own pain and demons. I should know, I'm prone to the same behaviors as someone with 30+ years of depression.

The place to start is not by heaping on more guilt and shame for things out of your control, but by looking inward and facing and dealing with those things you're most afraid to deal with. That's the beginning of healing and helping to strengthen yourself against any mental disorders.

And make no mistake, it's not easy and the process itself is painful and scary. But it's running and hiding from things that has caused problems to build up inside you to the point where you're at now. Choose to do something about that.

Now I'm not suggesting it's wrong to mourn your lost friends and friendships, nor am I suggesting you have to be whole to help others. But if you aren't growing and healing, or at least trying to, how can you expect to lead others to do the same? You don't have the answers for yourself, let alone anyone else.

Hopefully this all makes sense. Some of its hard to accept I'm sure, but it's what 30 years of mental illness has taught me, as well as the mental illnesses of many friends I've had during that time.

A tragic tale, indeed.

I’m sorry for your loss.

You sound like you really want to help others.

There is hope.

I have prayed for you.



The LORD takes pleasure in them that fear Him, in those that hope in His mercy.

Psalm 147:11

Your story reminds me of this song by 4Him.

The lyric from the Chorus is particularly poignant: “We’re living in a real world, with real hurt and real pain, and all we really need is the real thing.”

Rest assured that Jesus is the real thing!

Dearest Lilly,
I want you to know that what you are experiencing is not a new experience. Many have and still experience tales like yours. The depression and guilty you feel is also natural. When God created you He created you with a plan for better things in your life. However, sin and the curse of sin in the world has led us away from God's good will for us, and it is therefor for this reason we feel depressed and guilty. We are depressed because we Instinctively know that our lives should be better than this. And we are guilty because we know our choices in life have added to the circumstances we find ourselves in today. The good news is the God still loves you and that He desires the heal you from your hurt, comfort you in your sorrow, and lead you out of the circumstances you are in today.
If you will let God lead you to healing and hope all you must do is accept His help and surrender yourself to His will. His help is found in Jesus. Jesus is God in the flesh. He took on flesh to bring light into a world of darkness. (John chapter 1) He then taught the people of the kingdom of God, healing all who came to Him, and even chose to die as a substitionary sacrifice on the cross to pay the price of death that all have earned through sin. (The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.)
You know guilt because you know your actions have been sinful. You know depression because you know there must be more to life than what you have today. Jesus can and will forgive your sin, wah away your shame, and will lead you into a new life, abundant and free, if you will surrender your life to Him today. Will you open your heart for Him to enter and cleanse you? Will you submit to His will, following His commands that He has made for you good and from His love for you? If you will then you may know peace and joy beyond what you knew was possible. And more than this...you can become equipped with the good news of Jesus from 1st hand experience, to share with your friends who are also hurting and in need of the Divine help of God.

Know that you are loved and there is hope just around the corner.

Your friend in Christ Jesus,
Brian

Life without Jesus is like a donut. There's a hole in the middle of your heart! Donut man sung that song. You have been created by God to NOT function in a healthy way without Him. Life simply DOES NOT WORK RIGHT without Him. The very simple first step is TO GET SAVED!

THE REAL JESUS
Can you be sure you will go to heaven when you die?

Yes, in fact, the most important question anyone could ever ask is: “How do I get to heaven?” People have been asking this question since man was created. First of all, God wants you with Him forever! And fortunately, He answers this life-changing question simply and clearly.

Christianity is not a religion. It is a relationship with God. And from the beginning of Creation, God has wanted to have a relationship with His highest creation—mankind. But religion has confused the matter, and told people that they can earn salvation, or work hard enough to get it. Religion tells people if they follow certain rules, then God would accept them. But, that’s not the gospel at all. “Gospel” means: Good news. And the good news is: SALVATION IS A FREE GIFT. Going to HEAVEN is a free gift! God offers this free gift of salvation because He is madly in love with YOU! He wants to be in a love-relationship with you.

experience Him today, as you continue reading!

The PROBLEM—The Bible makes clear in Romans 3:23 that “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” The problem is clear: Romans 6:23 says, “The wages of sin is death.” So, simply put: we have all sinned (and we’re born into sin, because of Adam), and we all deserve eternal death. In God’s universal justice system, someone has to pay the price for sin.

THE SOLUTION—But the second part of Romans 6:23 GIVES US HOPE: “but the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ.” So God offers us forgiveness. How? Through faith in His Son. Jesus pays the price, through His blood for our sins. Romans 10:9 says, “That if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved.”

One of the most well-known verses in the Bible is John 3:16-17, where Jesus said, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world might be saved, through Him.”

God also states His plan of salvation very clearly in Ephesians 2:8-9, “For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”

See how simple God’s plan of salvation is?

salvation and righteousness. This gift of salvation is like an exchange. Many refer to it as, the Great Exchange. He exchanges your old life… for His new life. Your sin… for His righteousness! Many people try to get their life straightened out before they come to God. But, we can’t change spiritually until we are born-again (John 3:3). We could never get clean enough to stand in the presence of a sinless, spotless, holy God. That’s why He cleanses us of our sin through the blood of Jesus!

I John 1:7-9 says, “But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, His Son, cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

YOU ARE READY!

If you’ve never accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior & Lord, He invites you NOW. Revelation 3:20, says that Jesus is standing at the door of your heart-waiting for you to invite Him in. Just pray from your heart out-loud: “Heavenly Father, I accept Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord. I ask you to forgive me of my sins. I receive the gift of salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ.I believe Jesus died for my sins and rose from the dead. I accept your loving invitation to become born again and be your child. Though I was born a sinner, I believe I am born again NOW, and made righteous by You, through Jesus’ precious blood. By your grace, I am now saved. I accept your Son, Jesus, as my Lord, and as my Savior. From this day forward, You will never leave me nor forsake me, in Jesus’ Name” If you prayed that from your heart and believe it, God heard you and answered! You are NOW a child of God!”

I John 4:15 says, “If you will confess that Jesus is the Son of God, then God will come and dwell in you, and you will dwell in Him.”

THE REAL JESUS
Can you be sure you will go to heaven when you die?

Yes, in fact, the most important question anyone could ever ask is: “How do I get to heaven?” People have been asking this question since man was created. First of all, God wants you with Him forever! And fortunately, He answers this life-changing question simply and clearly.

Christianity is not a religion. It is a relationship with God. And from the beginning of Creation, God has wanted to have a relationship with His highest creation—mankind. But religion has confused the matter, and told people that they can earn salvation, or work hard enough to get it. Religion tells people if they follow certain rules, then God would accept them. But, that’s not the gospel at all. “Gospel” means: Good news. And the good news is: SALVATION IS A FREE GIFT. Going to HEAVEN is a free gift! God offers this free gift of salvation because He is madly in love with YOU! He wants to be in a love-relationship with you.

CHRISTIANITY—NOT A RELIGION

Christianity is a RELATIONSHIP—That’s why God sent Jesus Christ to the earth – to die on a cross as a substitute for you and me, for our sins, and for the sins of this world. Jesus paid the price to create a bridge between God and man. A perfect man, Jesus, took the place of imperfect men and women—you and me. He exchanged His innocent life for our guilty life. Salvation—God’s plan for eternal life!

We understand God’s plan of salvation through His explanation in the Bible. God has given us the Bible—His written Word to mankind—to communicate His amazing plan of salvation.

The Bible contains 66 books, written over a period of 1500 years, by 39 authors, who were inspired by the very breath of God to write His Words. Its authenticity is validated HISTORICALLY, ARCHEOLOGICALLY, & PROPHETICALLY. Its truth and veracity are unrivaled by any other historical or religious document. The Dead Sea Scrolls are an example of its consistency in the process of passing down the letters, so that they maintain their original meaning and words.

The Bible can and should be taken literally, except where it states that it is speaking symbolically. Adam and Eve were real. Sin is real. The devil is real. The fall of man is real. And Jesus is REAL.

In fact, you are about to experience Him today, as you continue reading!

The PROBLEM—The Bible makes clear in Romans 3:23 that “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” The problem is clear: Romans 6:23 says, “The wages of sin is death.” So, simply put: we have all sinned (and we’re born into sin, because of Adam), and we all deserve eternal death. In God’s universal justice system, someone has to pay the price for sin.

THE SOLUTION—But the second part of Romans 6:23 GIVES US HOPE: “but the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ.” So God offers us forgiveness. How? Through faith in His Son. Jesus pays the price, through His blood for our sins. Romans 10:9 says, “That if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved.”

One of the most well-known verses in the Bible is John 3:16-17, where Jesus said, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world might be saved, through Him.”

God also states His plan of salvation very clearly in Ephesians 2:8-9, “For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”

See how simple God’s plan of salvation is?

GRACE NOT WORKS

“What must I do to be saved?” someone asked in Acts 16:30. Paul’s answer was simple: “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you shall be saved, and your family.” No list of do’s and don’ts? No way to earn or deserve it? No. Salvation is a free gift. A priceless gift, that no one could ever be good enough to earn or deserve. This free gift is referred to as “grace.”

While we should obviously obey God’s Word and live by sound moral code and conscience, none of that saves us. God explains that further in Titus 3:5-8, “Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; That being justified by His grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. This is a faithful saying, and these things I want you to affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men.”

You see? We are NOT saved by our good works; but since we ARE saved (by grace through faith) already, our desires change, and we end up wanting to do what’s right.

We do the good things out of a grateful heart for the gift we have received—not to earn the gift. God’s “grace” literally means “His unmerited favor” & “His undeserved love.”

God makes clear that no one is saved, or forgiven, or justified by their good works. He offers you eternal life as a gift. But that gift is found only in Jesus Christ. In Acts 4:12, Peter (talking about Jesus) tells the religious rulers, “Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is no other Name under heaven, given among men, whereby we must be saved.”

Timothy 2:5 says, “For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus.”

Jesus clearly said in John 14:6, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life: no man comes to the Father, but by Me.”

Through Jesus, God takes away our sins, and gives us His gift of salvation and righteousness. This gift of salvation is like an exchange. Many refer to it as, the Great Exchange. He exchanges your old life… for His new life. Your sin… for His righteousness! Many people try to get their life straightened out before they come to God. But, we can’t change spiritually until we are born-again (John 3:3). We could never get clean enough to stand in the presence of a sinless, spotless, holy God. That’s why He cleanses us of our sin through the blood of Jesus!

I John 1:7-9 says, “But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, His Son, cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

YOU ARE READY!

If you’ve never accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior & Lord, He invites you NOW. Revelation 3:20, says that Jesus is standing at the door of your heart-waiting for you to invite Him in. Just pray from your heart out-loud: “Heavenly Father, I accept Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord. I ask you to forgive me of my sins. I receive the gift of salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ.I believe Jesus died for my sins and rose from the dead. I accept your loving invitation to become born again and be your child. Though I was born a sinner, I believe I am born again NOW, and made righteous by You, through Jesus’ precious blood. By your grace, I am now saved. I accept your Son, Jesus, as my Lord, and as my Savior. From this day forward, You will never leave me nor forsake me, in Jesus’ Name” If you prayed that from your heart and believe it, God heard you and answered! You are NOW a child of God!”

I John 4:15 says, “If you will confess that Jesus is the Son of God, then God will come and dwell in you, and you will dwell in Him."