How to be the one Jesus say I am...

Hi
I have been raise in a non christian family. Today I am the only one in my family and of my friends that is christian.
I did not get a chance to get to know my real mom as she died in a overdose when I was two years old. My dad did not take care of me so after a time I came to a foster family. They are little older, so there real kids are grown up and have move some years ago when I was younger.
My foster parents have teach me things in a way that is not good if you see it from a christian perspective. but I have been learn thing in a way from I was young. and now even if I know it is wrong I so many times fall back and do the same things. I really struggle with this.
I do same over and over to make other happy... but some times I think I do wrong.
How to be the one living how God want me to live.. I only do things in Love but some times even that seems to be wrong

Here is church ware I go every week, the thing is the churches close to me is very small and there is almost only elder people. Not that I have anything against elder people, I like them. Is just here is not many in my age. I some time travel a church far away to meet other christian in my age. the people in church here is very kind and often they invite me home for lunch after Sunday meeting. Last wee a old man invite me for lunch and he told me many story's about the church long before I was born

Christianity is not a new set of rules or even a moral code to live by. It is a new life. And Jesus is the life of the born again Christian.

If you have a dog, you know that dogs behave in certain ways just because they are dogs. This is because it has the life, or nature, of a dog. Cats have four legs and a tail and people keep them as pets. But they are nothing like dogs in the way they behave. Cats have the life (nature) of a cat. Christians are new creations in Christ. Christ is the life of the Christian.

2 Peter 1: 3 & 4
"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. Through these He has given us His precious and magnificent promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, now that you have escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires."

When we see that Jesus really is our life, we can quit trying and start living in victory, righteousness and holiness. Ask Jesus to live out His life in you, through you and in place of the nature you were born with. We are called to bear fruit, not produce it. The fruit on the branch depends on the kind of tree, not on how much the branch tries to be fruitful.

We need to spend time with Jesus, getting to know Him and His wonderful promises. We will not attain instant perfection, but we will be on the right path to spiritual maturity. Let Him lead you and guide you in all things. You will know the joy of the Lord and His strength.