can you guys post something funny please?

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HealthAndHappiness

HealthAndHappiness

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"]That's actually not true.

A guy went out on his own and invented a pen that would write on anything, under any conditions, purportedly because he wanted NASA to use it. NASA didn't ask him to do this.[/QUOTE]

@ThereRoseaLamb
If I remember the comedian's name I heard this from, Lynx should take comfort that I'll forward his fact check to him.
😄
 
enril

enril

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I went for the job interview and the interviewer said they are looking for somebody who is responsible....
I said 'I'm your guy!'

They asked why...

'Well at my old job if something went wrong, something went missing or somebody got hurt, they always said I was responsible'
 
enril

enril

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A government agent is responsible for finding an architect to build a tower
So he brings 3 architects, a Chinese, an American and an Iranian. The Chinese architect says I charge 3 Millions, 1.5M for material, 1M for workers and 0.5M as my salary.

He goes to the next one. The American architect says I charge 6 Millions, 3M for material, 2M for workers and 1M as my salary.

Finally he asks the Iranian. The Iranian architect says I charge 9 Millions. The agent asks surprisingly "How come?!"

The Iranian replies: "You take 3M, I take 3M and we pay 3M to the Chinese to build the tower"
 
Godsgirl1983

Godsgirl1983

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ThereRoseaLamb said:
During a church service, the priest asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Susie stood and walked to the podium.

She said, “Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was crushed.”

There was a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation.

“Phil was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and they were able to reconstruct the crushed remnants of Phil’s scrotum, using wire to reinforce and shape it.”
The men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably.

“Now,” she announced in a quivering voice, “thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”

All the men sighed with relief.

The priest rose and asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “I’m Phil.”

The entire congregation held its breath.

“I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum.”
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notmyown said:
Dove chocolate tastes waaay beter than their soap.
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:LOL::LOL::ROFL:
these also made my day, thanks!
 
Fillan

Fillan

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If at first you don't succeed..............then sky diving is not for you! :)
 
BillG

BillG

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So, I was in a shoe shop this morning trying on a shoe,
I said to the assistant "It's too tight".

She said: "Try it with the tongue out"

I said "It'th nho ghood, itth thill thoo thig
 
BillG

BillG

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Never hold your farts in.
They travel up your spine and into your brain.
And that is where sh*tty ideas come from.
 
HealthAndHappiness

HealthAndHappiness

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oldman said:
View attachment 267308
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Jack Hannah had a job hauling an elephant one time. He got to a place like this with his big box truck. For some reason he couldn't back up , turn around but had to go forward. He only needed a few inches to clear, so guess what?
He decided to let the air out of his tires. He was able to keep on going and reinflate on the other side.
 
Moses_Young

Moses_Young

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1726326116150.png
Probably most have seen this, but I still think it's funny. Gonna miss this guy when his part's over. He's done a great job of exposing the corruption, in my opinion. And SOOOOOO funny. "Sometimes, you can't tell people - you have to show them."
 
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