Remembering and honoring our departed loved ones: (Genesis 23:1-25:18)

PARASHAH: “Chayei Sarah” (Sarah lives) GENESIS 23:1-25:18


The title of the Parashah is “Sarah lives” or “Sarah lived.” Yet Sarah is dead, so how does she live? She lives on in Abraham's memory, her legacy lives on, and her influence lives on, and this is what the patriarch wants for Isaac.

So even dead, Sarah continued to live on as a godly wife and mother, there is no doubt that Abraham wanted to bless Isaac with a similar wife. Torah says that Sarah lived 127 years. It is not often that the Torah records the age of women, but Sarah is the exception.

According to some rabbis, “120” years are a “full life.” So, Sarah lived a “full life” plus 7 more.

Another way we can look at this is, from the Hebrew text; “One-hundred years, and twenty years, and seven years. Why is this worded this way? The rabbis say that when Sarah was one hundred years old, she was as beautiful as when she was twenty, and when she was twenty, she was as innocent and holy as when she was seven.

Moshe lived a “full life” and maybe would have lived longer had he not “struck the rock” Sarah lived a “Kadosh” life (Holy life, separated to serve God, and her husband Abraham, and raising her son Isaac. One could say she was “anointed to serve”

127 can also symbolize “echad” (unit of oneness) (1), “covenant blessing” (2) “godliness” (7) Sarah received the blessing of being a godly woman, who joined in the “covenant blessing” of Abraham with YHVH, and together became “Echad Am” (One people) the Hebrew people who later became the Nation of Israel.

Sarah honored Abraham, and YHVH by submitting to their instruction, she was submissive, in the right way. Yet Sarah had her times of happiness and sorrow as All marriages go through. Sarah also anticipated the promise of God for a son. She gave Abraham her maid, Hagar, as a second wife. Bad decision, yet Abraham still listened to her voice. He still loved her even when she made an unwise decision.

Abraham and Sarah loved each other, and in death, Abraham showed his love towards Sarah by purchasing an overpriced piece of real estate. 400 silver shekels was a lot for a cave on a piece of property in Hebron, but He didn't mind paying for it, (guess it is like buying a hamburger for $25). 400 silver shekels would be about $4500 today. It had to be “written down, and documented” legally, not just “words”, we see that today, words are nothing, but if it is signed, sealed, and written down, you can take it to court!

So Abraham honored his wife both in life and in death. One of the biggest and most drastic changes in one’s life is the “death” of a spouse. We see the words in the Torah which recount the time of Sarah’s death. “and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her. And Abraham stood up from before his dead, and spoke unto the sons of Heth saying…”

There is a time for mourning and weeping, and a time for joy, a time for continuing with life, as life does go on, with or without a spouse. Abraham had the right to mourn and weep since Sarah was part of his life for many, many years. We do not know when they got married, but when Abraham was called by Adonai, he was 75 years old, and he was married at that time. We could say that for about 50 years, Abraham had Sarah by his side. The Adonai called her home.

There will be a time when Adonai calls home our spouses, how will we respond when that happens? Will we cry out to God; Why? But are our spouses our own? Or do we all belong to Elohim? What are we but souls inhabiting finite bodies that will eventually cease to function and return to our Creator and God?

A baby enters the world with clenched fists, yet leaves the world with open hands. We all want to hold on to everything, even spouses, yet we have to let go and let God have his way. A spouse, a wife, or a husband, is like a library book. We will take the library book and read it cover to cover, do we understand what we read? We have “x” amount of years to do it. But the master Librarian will call for his book to be returned someday, and we will have to deal with that.

A spouse is like a jewel to be worn and cared for, for “x” number of years, but the Jeweler will call for his gem someday, and we will have to take “her” or “him” off and return “her” or “him” to Jeweler of all creation. I think that the more we love our spouse, the more difficult it will be for us to let go someday when our spouse is at death’s door. It wasn’t easy for Abraham, and it will not be easy for us.

I think that the time for caring, for loving, for giving flowers is when our spouses are alive, not at the grave site. One wonders what the surviving spouse will say. “May he (or she) rest in peace!” …or…” Now that he (or she) is gone, now I can rest in peace!!” Abraham wept and mourned, but then, he got up and “buried his dead out of his sight” He continued with life, searched out a wife for his son Isaac, and eventually Abraham remarried, to Keturah who bore him six children (Chap 25).

There is life after the departure of a loved one. The most difficult part of losing a loved one, especially a spouse, is if the spouse is an unbeliever, lost, without salvation. THEN we shall never see that spouse again, EVER! All the more reason to be “equally yoked” To lose a spouse in death is to be separated for “a season” but be reunited with her (or him) later on in heaven. That is the way we have to look at it because it is the truth.

The true meaning of the word “love” is NOT feelings. What is “Love at first sight?” (Hey, I like your moves, I like your legs, your hair, your eyes, your build, etc.). Feelings and emotions can lead two people to enter into a covenant of “love”, “Love” is the action of “giving” The Hebrew word is “Ahavah” it has the verb “hav” which is “to give” and the word “av” is in there, being “Our Heavenly Father gives” He proved his love toward us that He GAVE His Only Son, Yeshua, as a sacrifice for our sin.

When a couple chooses to marry, share life, provide one for another, in health and sickness, and not “cop out” on each other, THAT is TRUE LOVE. The words, “I feel I don't love you anymore” are silly, worthless words. Imagine if Sarah had told that to Abram. Or if Abram would have said that to Sarah, “I don't love you anymore, because you can't give me children” and the two separated, where would the Nation of Israel be today? It would be nonexistent. Yet they kept by each other’s side in good times and in the bad times, the times of drought, the “Egypt” times, the “Ishmael” times, and the long waited “Isaac” times.

Abraham sent his servant Elazar to look for a wife for Isaac. (I wish that custom was still here with us, parents getting their children husbands and wives, parents have inner wisdom and want the best for their children) . He carried 10 camels with gifts, the “bride price” for the “bride to be”. He had to go to Mesopotamia, to Abraham's family, He did NOT want a Canaanite woman for the bride of Isaac, a pagan Canaanite woman would have been an “unequal yoke” that is wisdom for us today, a “born again believer” should only marry another “born again believer” where the two worship and serve the “same God YHVH/Yeshua”

Elazar observed “Rebecca's actions” Rivka watered the thirsty camels, sought not her comfort, but had a servant's heart. This is what Elazar was looking for, Abraham would be happy, and so would Isaac. The “engagement jewelry” was a nose ring and gold bracelets” today in our society we give an engagement ring.

Abraham wanted a wife like Sarah for his son Isaac. We might think, what kind of wife (or husband) would one believer look for? Well, there are certain qualities to look for in looking for one’s “life mate”.

If a man is looking for a woman to be his wife. I would think that he might want a woman whose first love is for God, for Yeshua, and to obey and follow the Torah. That the woman also be humble, who will run the home with wisdom, and with money in her hands she will spend it wisely. She should be a woman who will raise her children according to the Word of God and not waste time with “fairy tale reading” but with “Torah Tale reading” if she is to read “Bed-time stories. I have not mentioned the “physical” characteristics, since “how beautiful or not” is not of prime importance, but yes, is a bit important since men are usually in search of “what attracts the eye”

Just as “Riv’kah” was willing to follow Elazar to Isaac’s home, so should the wife be willing to follow her husband. Where he is, she should be as well. UNLESS there is some sort of danger or unwise decision-making on the husband’s part, then, the wife needs to help the husband “re-think” the decision.

Now “Rivka”(Rebecca) had to be “willing to go with Elazar to be Isaac's wife”. We can see this is our relationship with Yeshua. Yeshua/Jesus is the “bridegroom” and we, the “Kehillah” (Congregation of “called out ones”) are the bride. We have to be a “willing bride” to go with our “heavenly bridegroom”.

Just as Elazar brought gifts to the bride-to-be, Yeshua has given “gifts” to us as HIS Bride; Salvation (Yeshuah) an eternal home/mansion in Heaven, spiritual gifts to do service and minister with. Healthy bodies (for the most part) in which to live, spouses and children, jobs to earn a living. If we think about it, the list could go on. We have many blessings through Yeshua.

If you have lost a spouse in death, always remember that if she or he was a believer in Yeshua, you will see her or him again. The separation is temporary. Life goes on. We are still living in the finite dimension while the spouse has crossed over the line into eternity. Perhaps, just perhaps, 5 years on Earth will be like 5 minutes in Heaven. Imagine, meeting your spouse in Heaven and saying;

"Oi Vey, 10 years without you my dearest, such lonesome lonely years. But now we are together again. Praise the LORD!
What 10 years? I just got here a few minutes ago!

Happy Thanksgiving ahead of time.


we will all eventually see our final sunset, yet see the SON in the World to Come

2 Cor 5: 6-10:
Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord: (For we walk by faith, not by sight We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord. Wherefore we labour, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.

1 Corinthians 3:8
Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own rewardaccording to his own labour.
1 Corinthians 3:14
If any man’s work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.
1 Corinthians 9:17
For if I do this thing willingly, I have a reward: but if against my will, a dispensation of the gospel is committed unto me.
1 Corinthians 9:18
What is my reward then? Verily that, when I preach the gospel, I may make the gospel of Christ without charge, that I abuse not my power in the gospel.

I think one of the saddest stories in the bible is the death of Rachel. Jacob loved her with all of his heart and soul, but he despised Leah. Rachel died right before reaching Bethlehem, where Christ was born into the world. This speaks to me of God saying that the salvation of mankind would not come out of Jacob's earthly affections, but from God's choice. The redeemer came forth out of the despised wife's 4th son, ie Judah, whom God chose over her other son's Reuben, Simeon and Levi because of their ungodly actions. This was the branch from Israel that would ultimately save mankind. But God IMO honored Jacob's great love for Rachel by bringing forth the fullness of gentiles, the great multitude that no man can number, from her seed Ephraim, the half-Egyptian son of Joseph adopted by Jacob who was blessed with the rights of the firstborn and inherited the promises of Abraham. A truly remarkable story

Yes indeed, good insight. Many are rejected yet those rejected will receive a reward. Take me for example. I was adopted into a kind and loving man and wife who could not have kids. My biological parents were having financial problems and decided that I would be better off with another family. My biological sister and brother have no children, yet I, who was given in adoption , have 4 children and 7 grandchildren. I never hated my biological mom and dad, NEVER! without meeting them I loved them, yet to the "rejected" child came offspring, to the natural vine came no fruit. interesting!