Bringing up of our children

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M

MaryM

Well-known member
#1
Nov 25, 2022
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#1
I brought mine up with love, I never physically punished them even when perhaps they were very naughty.

I read something in a book about Billy Graham and his family and it rather disturbs me. He said once, that his wife Ruth brought up their kids, with 'a Bible in one hand and a switch in the other'. That they turned out pretty well .
Surely that wasn't literally?

I hope not because I personally just couldn't hit a child. I wish nobody did. It is not the right way apart from the fact I couldn't bear it.

I know this because I was hit as a child and I have never forgotten it.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#2
Aug 13, 2014
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#2
I think the whole point is not to forget it....

My parents whipped me when I did wrong, and I learned not to do wrong. And I believe I turned out okay.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#3
Aug 13, 2014
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#3
I will say that different children are different. It seems a parent needs to be observant and determine the approach for an individual child.

Some children have a very sensitive temperament. Whipping them will break their spirits permanently. A stern tone is all a parent needs.

Some will push until they find where the boundaries are. Once a parent has demonstrated willingness to physically discipline them, that's all they need.

Some are logical, quite rational and all you need to do is explain why they should follow this rule. That's all they need.

Then there are kids who are a bit more stubborn... I might possibly know something about this personally. Some kids make up their minds they know better than their parents, and no amount of rational argument will persuade them.
 
G

gb9

Senior Member
#4
Jan 18, 2011
12,385
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#4
MaryM said:
I brought mine up with love, I never physically punished them even when perhaps they were very naughty.

I read something in a book about Billy Graham and his family and it rather disturbs me. He said once, that his wife Ruth brought up their kids, with 'a Bible in one hand and a switch in the other'. That they turned out pretty well .
Surely that wasn't literally?

I hope not because I personally just couldn't hit a child. I wish nobody did. It is not the right way apart from the fact I couldn't bear it.

I know this because I was hit as a child and I have never forgotten it.
Click to expand...
back in the mid 80's, when i was in elementary school, teachers still paddled the kids.

they took the student out in the hall and did the deed.

some came back into classroom laughing and acting all tough, some were balling their eyes out.

i only got it one time that i remember- the teacher stepped out of class for a few minutes, and a lot of us were misbehaving when she came back in. and those of us that were messing up got paddled.

i don't remember it being a big deal.
 
Tall_Timbers

Tall_Timbers

Well-known member
#5
Mar 31, 2023
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Cheyenne WY
christiancommunityforum.com
#5
MaryM said:
I hope not because I personally just couldn't hit a child. I wish nobody did. It is not the right way apart from the fact I couldn't bear it.
Click to expand...
I disagree with you. I wacked mine whether they needed it or not... or at least I would have, if I thought they needed it, but they were so good most of the time. I do believe the Word supports corporal punishment of our children.

Here's just one verse of many on the topic: Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol. Proverbs 23:13-14.

Therefore, given what God teaches us. it absolutely is the right way to bring up a child, should the rod prove necessary.
 
daisyseesthesun

daisyseesthesun

Well-known member
#6
Aug 23, 2024
760
430
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#6
MaryM said:
I brought mine up with love, I never physically punished them even when perhaps they were very naughty.

I read something in a book about Billy Graham and his family and it rather disturbs me. He said once, that his wife Ruth brought up their kids, with 'a Bible in one hand and a switch in the other'. That they turned out pretty well .
Surely that wasn't literally?

I hope not because I personally just couldn't hit a child. I wish nobody did. It is not the right way apart from the fact I couldn't bear it.

I know this because I was hit as a child, and I have never forgotten it.
Click to expand...
she needed that switch. Have you heard of how Franklin Graham was as a child?

"He who spares his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him promptly." Proverbs 13:24
 
J

jacko

Well-known member
#7
Sep 2, 2024
1,111
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#7
my dad beat the crap out of me, belts, etc. I turned out fine. I suppose that was a different time.
 
J

jacko

Well-known member
#8
Sep 2, 2024
1,111
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#8
  • Proverbs 13:24: "Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him."
  • Proverbs 23:13-14: "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die."
 
M

MaryM

Well-known member
#9
Nov 25, 2022
513
319
63
#9
Too brutal. I cannot stand violence of any kind. I do believe in reasoning and plenty of alternative ways.
Children can become brutalised and filled with hatred if punished too severely.
I was punished several times for trivial reasons and I still remember the unfairness and distress. I couldn't inflict that on a child myself.

By the way, I am sure Jesus Christ never hurt anyone, he came to heal. His gentleness is surely our great model.
 
Eli1

Eli1

Well-known member
#10
Apr 5, 2022
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#10
Hello Mary.
I think you’ve brought this topic up before and the answer from me is still the same.
I have never beaten up my kids and I wasn’t beaten up as a kid myself either.
I wanted to raise them even better than I was raised and they are both wonderful now that they are growing up to be ready for college.
God bless you and good to see you again.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#11
Aug 13, 2014
27,666
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#11
MaryM said:
Too brutal. I cannot stand violence of any kind. I do believe in reasoning and plenty of alternative ways.
Children can become brutalised and filled with hatred if punished too severely.
I was punished several times for trivial reasons and I still remember the unfairness and distress. I couldn't inflict that on a child myself.

By the way, I am sure Jesus Christ never hurt anyone, he came to heal. His gentleness is surely our great model.
Click to expand...
How many kids do you have?
 
K

Karlon

Well-known member
#12
Mar 8, 2023
2,694
1,233
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#12
MaryM said:
I brought mine up with love, I never physically punished them even when perhaps they were very naughty.

I read something in a book about Billy Graham and his family and it rather disturbs me. He said once, that his wife Ruth brought up their kids, with 'a Bible in one hand and a switch in the other'. That they turned out pretty well .
Surely that wasn't literally?

I hope not because I personally just couldn't hit a child. I wish nobody did. It is not the right way apart from the fact I couldn't bear it.

I know this because I was hit as a child and I have never forgotten it.
Click to expand...
we were extremely beaten in our upbringing. no real love in the home.
 
Zandar

Zandar

Well-known member
#13
May 16, 2023
1,645
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#13
I've been paddled at school many times, but I think the most effective is when the parents paddle their kids when they need it. When the parents whip their kids its because they think its best for the kid, when the school system or others paddle kids its usually what they think is best for society. Big difference.
 
B

blueluna5

Well-known member
#14
Jul 30, 2018
666
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#14
It was definitely literal.

Kids need more than love. Idk that seems naive.

My kids get extra chores, things taken away, early bed when they don't listen. I will also take away toys if I pick it up and they have to work for it back.

Some of the worst people I know were never spanked as kids! Coincidence I think not. 😆 In fairness I know very nice people who never were as well.

I don't judge parents for it though. Why would I judge parents trying to get their kid under control? I've literally read forums where people were so afraid to spank their kids they actually did abuse them. Like they would suggest taking a bed and all toys away from a 2 year old....huh? Over a smack on the bum? Give me a break. Taking bed and all toys literally is abuse, for a 2 year old who barely understands cause and effect.

Time out never worked for my kids though over 2. But I've taken every remote, roku, snacks, video game. I'll definitely get my point across...
 
K

Karlon

Well-known member
#16
Mar 8, 2023
2,694
1,233
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#16
blueluna5 said:
It was definitely literal.

Kids need more than love. Idk that seems naive.

My kids get extra chores, things taken away, early bed when they don't listen. I will also take away toys if I pick it up and they have to work for it back.

Some of the worst people I know were never spanked as kids! Coincidence I think not. 😆 In fairness I know very nice people who never were as well.

I don't judge parents for it though. Why would I judge parents trying to get their kid under control? I've literally read forums where people were so afraid to spank their kids they actually did abuse them. Like they would suggest taking a bed and all toys away from a 2 year old....huh? Over a smack on the bum? Give me a break. Taking bed and all toys literally is abuse, for a 2 year old who barely understands cause and effect.

Time out never worked for my kids though over 2. But I've taken every remote, roku, snacks, video game. I'll definitely get my point across...
Click to expand...
i never had my own kids but dated a few women with kids. i don't agree with the idea of spanking, in fact, i despise it. but when kids misbehaved, i would hold 1 of there hands delicately & correct them with kind words while always looking them in the eye without punishing them. & after that, i would watch them & give them a slight "tough" look which further reminded them not to misbehave.
 
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